Tag Archives: codependency

tips for managing depression

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DEPRESSION TIPS:

Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancy and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

One more thing. If you can, go look in mirror and smile.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

* At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

* In case nobody has told you today, you are worth your weight in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

***People don’t fake depression.. they fake being ok.

Find something to be grateful for!

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.

800-273-8255

easy psychological test

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𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗔 𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗘
𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧.

“Which number of the 21 little people in the tree do you resonate with? Look at the picture before reading below.

This simple psycho-emotional test inspired by Pip Wilson’s method can reveal interesting points about you.

Pip Wilson is a psychologist and trainer known worldwide for the very simple method in which he manages to help people find their maximum potential and balance in life. Pip Wilson also invented the Blob Tree method.

If you chose the little man 2 or 3, then you are an ambitious and confident person. You know that you will succeed all the time and that convenient situations will always come up to help you in your progress.

Little man number 1 is a self-assured person, content with his life and optimistic. He is an intelligent person, the capable should see in perspective.

Little man number 21 is a person who tries, but does not know how to find the best solutions for his life. He is a little man who must learn to ask for help from those around him and to give up his suspicious nature.

If you chose the little man 9, 19 or 4, it defines you as a non-social, suspicious and confident person. The number 19 man can have narcissistic inclinations and is envious of the success of others.

The number 4 little man gives up too quickly, does not trust his extraordinary potential. And the number 9 little man will do anything to prove that he is wonderful too, but it is easier to keep his lonely side, because in this way he justifies his mistrust in others.

Little people 7, 11, 12 characterize communicative people who know how to offer support to their friends. These people are characterized by a high emotional intelligence that helps them successfully deal with life situations. They have team spirit, they see the bright side and they find solutions all the time.

The number 5 little man is creative, loves life, enjoys every moment, love and knows how to be grateful to all the good things around him. This helps him to maintain a positive outlook and so he always has open doors to all the best!

The number 6 little man needs to feel loved, protected and safe. He is the kind of person who always falls in love with the wrong person, because of his unwed need for affection and love. This little man must learn to look more carefully for those who can help him in his evolution, and not those who do not understand his vulnerability.

The number 13 little man is filled with despair and the loss of hope. He must do his best to recalibrate himself to the tree of life and he can easily regain confidence in himself again, seeking the support of his loved ones!

The little people 16, 17 and 18 are optimistic, full of life, with team spirit, perform in any field and look at the challenges with detachment. The number 18 little man likes to feel loved and appreciated, and when he feels it, he becomes your best friend!
The number 14 little man is a soul, a philanthropist, he would do anything to help others. He is characterized by a lot of empathy and a ′′ great soul “. This little man should learn to take care of himself, not just others!

The 10, 15 and 20 men are winners. I love the taste of success, even if everyone has different ways to achieve it. The number 20 man is ambitious, confident and full of life, is an innovator and is not afraid to take risks. His detachment and passion bring him many achievements and satisfaction.

Little man number 10 is ambitious, but also very cautious. He is hardworking and determined, that’s why he is successful, pretty much anything he wants. His ideas always stand out and he is appreciated in any environment. And the number 15 little man is motivated by the beauty of the road to success rather than the success itself. He is curious to know new things, to have new experiences, to meet people and to learn something from each one.

The number 8 little man is a dreamer and romantic. He likes to have some moments just to himself. This is how he regains his energy and the mood for life and socialization. It is good for the loved ones to understand their need for isolation and not to misconstrue it, to understand it and to leave the space it needs.”

~ Emily Bender 

One sided relationships

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I’ve had a few one-sided relationships in my life, and of course it all started with my relationship with my alcoholic father. When I saw this picture from the “Rising Woman” website, it really reminded me of growing up with a distant father. Seems like many kids who grew up in the 70’s experienced the same thing.

My dad had very low self esteem, and no tools to manage his emotions. The only thing he knew to do was drink and create emotional and physical distance from people. When my Mom left him in 1969, he punished her by emotionally abandoning me. The result was I had difficulty trusting men, and would usually choose someone who was a workaholic, heavy drinker, physically compromised or burdened with responsibilities.

Thanks to my work in programs like Alanon, I’ve been able to work through a lot of these issues. Alanon is free and available to anyone dealing with an alcoholic or addict. I highly recommend it! Here’s more information from Rising Woman about one sided relationships with romantic partners:

“Ever find yourself clinging to a one-sided relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner?

A good question to ask when we notice this is:

“What part of me is it that wants this so badly?”

Sometimes it’s our most wounded self… or our “child-self” that takes over and gets caught in the pain and fear of not being chosen.

… The fear of being abandoned.

Our emotions are powerful. And to become more Conscious and self-loving… It’s our job to learn how to listen to our emotions and act from a place of self-worth.

(Rather than react out of discomfort.)

We often simply mask our discomfort to avoid feeling abandoned, unloved, or unworthy, without really going to the root cause.

We’re temporarily soothing ourselves with a chase… or giving ourselves away in dead-end relationships.

… But we’re not actually getting what we want or what we deserve from a relationship.

If they say they can’t commit – Believe them.

If they tell you they aren’t ready – Believe them.

If they say “I like you, but I’m selfish” – Believe them.

People don’t necessarily want to hurt us, but the reality is, unless they’ve done their inner-work and are aware enough to act Consciously, their actions may be entirely self-serving; which leaves you feeling unsupported.

It’s up to you to be your own wise, nurturing and loving inner-parent.

Remind yourself that it’s safe to be loved…

That healthy love doesn’t have to be boring…

Learn to see the signs of when you might be confusing chaos with chemistry.

You are here to be loved and cherished.

You have the capacity to step into your worth. And stretch yourself to show up powerfully in all of your relationships.

It’s time.

PS. If you’d like to learn more…

Take the short quiz to discover your unique Relationship Signature here: https://risingwoman.com/discover/

Full Moon in Gemini

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Nicho

Sankt Nikolaus and the Krampus

Sun at 19 Sagittarius.
Mercury is now DIRECT at 2 Sagittarius (detriment… not happy).
Mars at 14 Scorpio (strong) and Venus at 19 Capricorn (weak).
Jupiter at 1 Capricorn (in it’s fall, or weakened).
Saturn at 19 Capricorn, Pluto at 21 Capricorn.
Neptune at 15 Pisces.

Full Moon in Gemini on Wednesday, Dec. 11th at 9:12pm. The theme is LIBERATION, and it will effect everyone individually depending on where it falls in a chart. This week we are resolving dualities, and looking for the unifying energy. As we inch closer to the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in January, it’s time to get our affairs in order. A glimpse of January’s event appears this week as Venus conjuncts Saturn and Pluto. A huge shift is arriving next month; it will deliver either a sobering wake-up call, or rewards for hard work.

Jupiter entered Capricorn last week, marking a significant shift for the next year. Our desires and ambitions experience new limits or obstacles. Think back 12 years ago, and what was going on in your life. With Jupiter in Capricorn, you’ll find some of these themes repeating in your life, but in a different way. Jupiter is not happy (or in it’s fall) in Capricorn, but there are some good character-building qualities to this placement. Jupiter in Capricorn grounds us, and helps us accept the realities of personal achievement. We focus on creating solid foundations, and develop the patience for long-term ambitions to be realized. We get to work. If you want a personal reading on how this shift will affect you, schedule me here.

Wednesday, 12/11: Full Moon in Gemini at 9:12pm. Catch up with friends, take short trips, call your family and engage with your community. Messages could arrive from the universe today, so pay attention to synchronicities. Great day for writing, negotiation and expressing your genius in creative ways.

Thursday, 12/12: Moon in Cancer. And just like that we are in the realm of Crab; we withdraw into our shells and comfort zones. The power of the Full Moon is still in effect, so be sensitive to people’s feeling today. Focus on self care, and work around the house.

Friday, 12/13: Moon in Cancer. The mood might lighten a bit today, but still avoid social complications – especially in personal relationships. It’s a romantic evening though.

Saturday, 12/14: Moon void-of-course in Cancer all day. Indulgence. Allow yourself to relax, eat too much food and engage in escapism. Not much progress can be made today to go with the flow.

Sunday, 12/15: Moon in Leo. Today we bust out of the quiet, Cancerian mode and move towards matters of the heart. The emphasis today is on personal achievement and artistic expression.

She Isn’t High-Maintenance, You’re Just Low Effort

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high-maintenance-woman

I saw the title of this article and was intrigued… it’s an interesting idea…

There are plenty of women AND men in the world who are ridiculously demanding, self absorbed and emotionally avoidant, but I don’t hear men being called “high maintenance” very often. When a woman is called “high maintenance”, it could be true, but it also might be a way of dismissing her power. Maybe a woman referred to as high maintenance, is actually high value.

It takes effort to make your life work well, to heal yourself and become a high value person. It takes a lot of work, and ANYONE can do it.

Getting your s*** together is worth it, because it helps one to thrive in life. A high value person, in my view, is someone who takes responsibility for the own happiness, makes an effort to not cause harm or hurt to others, and lives a life of honor and integrity.

It’s someone who aims to live a life in harmony with the eight fold path in Buddhism: right view, right aspiration, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration. Once this person has achieved their own happiness and stability, they try to be helpful to others and guide and support them too.

“Last time I checked, having standards doesn’t make a woman high-maintenance, it just makes her a person who knows what she wants.
It doesn’t make her a mission impossible, it just requires a bit more effort than it normally would. And putting in extra effort can be a problem to some, which is why it’s always easier to come up with excuses than it is to step up your game.

She is the kind of woman who doesn’t depend on anyone.
It’s because she knows to lean on someone in life means to be left without anything once that someone decides to walk away from her.

That’s why she takes care of herself and she makes life good for herself. She doesn’t need you to do that for her.
She’s perfectly capable of doing it on her own.
She knows her worth.
She feels good about herself and she isn’t afraid to show it. But she only feels this way because she’s worked hard on herself.
She’s aware of how much she brings to the table and she always keeps in mind that she’s more than good enough.

And there is nothing more valuable in this world than a woman who knows her worth.

She knows where she wants to be in life. And she knows how to get there too. She’s a person who constantly pushes her limits and who’s constantly trying.

She keeps working on herself. She takes care of her looks and her brains as well.
She knows what she deserves.
And she isn’t settling for anything less. That’s why she might appear as high-maintenance to some. But she is just asking for as much as she’s ready to give and that’s all.
In case you’re failing to reach her standards or win her over, perhaps it’s not the problem that she has set her standards high, but that you have your efforts set really low?

You don’t get to disrespect her.
She doesn’t let people treat her badly and she never allows other people to project their insecurities on her.
She is a high-value woman and she holds her head high. That’s why she’ll never put up with someone who tries to bring her down to feel good about himself or with someone who disrespects her.
You don’t get to treat her right only sometimes.
She wants constant effort and she deserves someone who’ll treat her right on all occasions.
She deserves someone who’ll treat her right even when she makes a mistake. She deserves someone who’ll try constantly to prove his love, his admiration and his commitment to her.
You don’t get to be mediocre.”

Read full article here

 

If You’re Unhappy With Your Life, It’s Your Responsibility To Change It

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magick (2)

By Dian Tinio
Updated June 16, 2019

“Oftentimes, we settle for what we think is right, acceptable and safe. We are so dominated by the idea of staying because it feels scary to move. Because it feels frightening to face a whole new environment without the people, the things, or the places we’ve been so used to.
We are so terrified by the idea of moving on, because we feel like we just can’t move on and leave things behind. We sacrifice our own being, our own happiness. We choose to compromise all these because we choose to stay, when we should really be moving on, moving forward.

If you’re unhappy, MOVE. Because if you’re meant to stay in one place, you should have roots, instead of feet.

If you’re unhappy with your job, quit. If you feel like, you’re no longer growing, no longer learning, if you’re no longer productive, if you’re only clocking in and out every single day – then move. If you’re constantly stressing over the fact that it drains you mentally, physically and emotionally, then move. If you’re thinking of just sticking with that job that never fails to suck your joy because it pays the bills and you might be “promoted” there and can call yourself “successful” and “happier” – NO. Your happiness does not depend on your success. Your success actually depends on your happiness. If you think there are new opportunities, new places, new things you can explore and will contribute to your soul and to your individual growth, then go there. If it’s worth your time thinking, then it’s worth trying. No one’s too old to try. Whether it ends good or bad, it’s still an experience. Let’s not forget that every experience teaches us a valuable lesson that we might never learn if we choose otherwise.

If you’re unhappy with the people you surround yourself with, leave. If you feel like they no longer influence you positively and you no longer prosper with them then leave. By leaving, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cutting them off of your life or you’re forgetting them forever, it just simply means that you are finally moving forward. The time you had with them was spectacular. There were learnings and encouragements but when they are no longer a vessel of such and all they do is drag you into settling for mediocrity, then maybe it’s time to say your “thank you” and “see you again”. You are just recognizing that you need to go on with your life, perhaps without them.

If you’re unhappy with your love life, end it. They aren’t the last people on earth. Romantic relationships are more than forehead kisses, dinner dates, tight hugs and sweet letters – romantic relationships just like any other vital connection you have, is supposed to mature with you. Romantic relationships are supposed to let you flourish and develop in every aspect of who you are. It is supposed to hearten you every morning and not weigh you down with doubts and resentments. If your partner becomes a constant instrument of heartache and toxicity, then cut them off. You are not obliged to burden yourself with such. They are supposed to be one of the top people who will propel you to be at your best, to motivate you and allow you to discover the extent of your grandeur. Remember that, always. Who knows, maybe in the near future you’ll meet someone who’ll contribute to your soul even more.

If you’re unhappy with your city, move. Don’t get stranded with comfort zones and safety nets. Familiarity is good but too much familiarity is not that good. A little risk and uncertainty can go a long long way. If you’re only staying because you feel it’s secured and because you’re already living there for a long while now that it is “home” or that it is “convenient” – well, you might want to re-think your decisions. Being comfortable can be a whole lot scarier than taking risks. You stopped conquering magnificent things when you start getting comfortable. Remember, great things come outside of our comfort zone. So pack your things, leave your city and move to another one if you must. Go out on this adventure to nowhere. Start anew. Search for a place you might like to visit, a place you might like to stay. Now is the time. Home is where your happiness is, not where it’s guarded.

If you’re unhappy with your life path, take any turn possible. Whether it is your college course or your career path, or your business direction – whatever path it is that you’re taking right now, if it reeks strong discontentment, then it’s the perfect time to take a pause and redirect yourself. If you’re taking a course you don’t like, shift. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to waste years, effort and money on something you never even love in the first place. It will only teach you to settle. At the end of the day, if it doesn’t embolden you, you’ll still feel devoid, exhausted. So it doesn’t really matter if you’re graduating next year, you better decide before you find yourself trapped in an office chair with loads of shitty work you don’t even understand and doesn’t enrich your passion. If you’re investing years of your precious time and expertise in a career path you’re not even appeased with, shift. If you don’t see yourself on the same path in the years to come, what’s the point? There is no right time to shift and leave, you do it when you feel like it. You do it when you’re unhappy. You do it now. Take on a new path, embrace diversity and development. Whatever path it is you’re in right now, if you’re unhappy, take a turn. Whether it is left or right, as long as you’re happy, you will not lose yourself.

If you’re unhappy with how you see life, move your sight. See life from a different view, a different perspective. Re-acquaint yourself with life. Worrying or over-thinking things don’t change how life is. Like they say, don’t stress over the things you can’t change. The only thing you can do is fix your eyes on a different light, see life in all its splendor. Stop viewing it for all its troubles. Life is beautiful.
If you’re unhappy where you are right now, move. It’s as simple as that, I don’t know why we make everything so complicated. Why we spend so much of our time and energy scrutinizing everything, when the only thing we should really be thinking about is our own happiness.

Thus, instead of dreading and over-examining every decision you need to make in your life, trust your guts. Sometimes, taking risks and clinging to perplexity is a good thing. You don’t always have to weigh the pros and cons of things, sometimes there is only one thing that really, truly matters and that is; your happiness, your passion for this life and your hunger for a contented heart. You don’t have to be sure of where you’re going or what the next step is; sometimes all you have to do is take the first step and that is to MOVE.”

Women of Age and Wisdom

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summer

“Women get more beautiful as they grow older. Not less.
Female youth is only prized in modern culture because it doesn’t represent as much of a threat spiritually to anyone who is frightened of divine feminine power.
As women grow and mature, they call in stronger forces of sacred feminine wisdom. They vibrate with the creative power of their stories.
They are more of a force to be reckoned with.
They see more, know more, feel more. They put up with a lot less bullshit.
When women are trained into thinking there is something fundamentally wrong with getting older, and are coerced into spending money, energy and power investing in ‘slowing the signs of ageing’, an enormous vault of divine love is lost.
Just think what would happen if all the women in the world started loving themselves even more with every year that passed.
Perhaps a total revolution would occur.~”
~Yogesh Kumar

Week of April 22nd

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Sun in Taurus.
Mercury Direct in Aries: Refresh your mind and begin something.
Venus in Aries: Rebirth in art, love and finances. Make a fresh start.
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter retrograde (backwards) in Sagittarius
Saturn/Pluto conjunct in Capricorn

Keep a low profile this week, meet your responsibilities and don’t rock the boat. There is huge energy under the surface that is unearthed this week in our personal and collective lives, and we need to be nourished, contemplative and calm to walk through it.

Sunday, April 21st – We start the week off with a bang. Sun conjunct Uranus in Taurus shakes things up around what we value – especially our love lives. Our values, as well as home, possessions and finances, could take a completely different direction. Go with the flow and accept the change, because it is the path to liberation.

Monday, April 22nd – Moon in Sagittarius, Sun in Taurus. Get all loose ends tied up in preparation for the huge aspect on Wednesday.

Tuesday, April 23rd – Moon void of course in Sag most of the day. Try not to make big decisions or sign anything.

Wednesday, April 24th – Pluto is stationing (standing still above us) and turning retrograde (backwards) around noon Pacific time. At the SAME TIME, Pluto will be conjuncting Saturn (timing, responsibility and control). This is a huge turning point in our personal lives and the world. The US is also having it’s Pluto Return – which can stir up revolution, reform and massive change.
Individually, our toxic, underlying issues are rising up to be healed by Pluto. This spurs us towards a rebirth of the structures we have built in our lives by Saturn. This is a BIG DEAL. If you’ve been stuck in self doubt, self hatred or living out other people’s ideas, prepare to be liberated and reborn. If you’ve built your life on shaky ground, or avoided responsibility for your actions, prepare to grow up fast. Sacrifice your past mistakes and weaknesses in the great fire of Pluto and start anew. Seek the light within you. Encourage it to grow. This conjunction sets off a major reorganization of our lives that will gain steam and relevance over the next several months. The goal is to create a new, sustainable paradigm for true living.

If you’re feeling tired or sick this week, please rest.
If you’ve been moving too fast, slow down.
If you’ve been overly focused on gaining approval from others, practice self care.
Stay connected with friends and family.
Stick to the facts and don’t take risks this week.
Change your daily habits.

Thursday, April 25th – Moon in Capricorn activates the current Saturn-Pluto hubbub, bringing up emotional responses to the issues at hand. Leave the past behind and bring in what nourishes you.

amazing-illustration-rasmus-berggreen-into-the-abyss

Rasmus Berggreen, Into the Abyss

Friday, April 26th – Moon void of course in Capricorn most of the day. Contemplate the changes in motion. We are in the last quarter of the Moon, so you don’t have to work hard or begin anything new for the next week. Just rest, let go of what you’ve outgrown, and wrap up loose ends.

Saturday, April 27th –  Moon in Aquarius. Mars square Neptune in the early morning. It’s a good day to embrace visions, and take action on the ones that really call to you.  Just be really clear on what you’re doing before you take action. Neptune can make you spacy or bring up the desire to play the victim.

Monday, April 29th – Moon in Pisces. And if all that wasn’t enough!!! Saturn stations retrograde above us in Capricorn at 5:55pm Pacific. When Saturn retrogrades, things in our lives can feel less stable. More developments from the Pluto-Saturn conjunction last week could arise.
Focus on why you are here. What is your purpose in this life? Are you accomplishing it? If not, how can you find ways to restructure your beliefs and your habits to help instead of hinder your mission?

 

Full Moon in Cancer

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Full Moon in Cancer – exact Saturday morning at 9:50 am Pacific.

This full moon occurred at the first degree of Cancer, which is the most powerful degree of any sign.

Whatever the last two weeks have been about, their key lessons are becoming real the next seven days. Try to keep things light over the holidays 🙂

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

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flags
I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

By Brittany Cox

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here