Tag Archives: relationships

Rejecting Shame

Rejecting Shame

Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.

Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.

Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn’t okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can’t change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.

What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.

Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.

Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It’s okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It’s okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It’s okay to be human and cherish our humanness.

Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.

Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame’s trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it’s okay to be who I am.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

Difficult People

Difficult People

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn’t; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn’t mean we can’t love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.

We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms – taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.

This is the heart of detaching in love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.

to find love

To a young woman seeking the right young man:

So many believe that love is a romance; that it is something into which you fall, suddenly, effortlessly.

Let me tell you what is true love.

Two people live together, care for each other, weather the storms together

—and one day they discover they cannot live without one another.

That is love.

Don’t fall in love. Create love.

  • Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Week of October 17th

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 25 Libra (in it’s fall, no Sun Magick now)
Mercury DIRECT at 10 Libra
Venus at 23 Libra (rulership, great for Venus Magick!)
Mars at 24 Gemini
Jupiter RETROGRADE 1 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE 18 Aquarius (rulership)
Uranus RETROGRADE at 17 Taurus
Neptune RETROGRADE at 23 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto at 26 Capricorn
North Node at 13 Taurus

NOTE: If you’d like these posts delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday evening, feel free to join my Patreon page here, it’s only $1 per post ($4 a month) and supports my writing! https://www.patreon.com/LizRose93

We begin this week with a fallow, 4th quarter Moon. We are wrapping things up, finishing projects and adjusting to new conditions. This is the last week of the Sun traveling through Libra, and with the Sun and Venus squaring Pluto, we are facing the toxic sides of our relationships. There’s a New Moon ECLIPSE in Scorpio coming next Tuesday, October 25th as well. All of this happening while Saturn, Mars and Pluto stand still in the sky.

Rest and give yourself time to reflect on how you’d like the upcoming Moon cycle to go. If you’d like a personal reading on how this Scorpio cycle will effect you, you can book a short reading with me here for $45.

Wednesday, October 19th: Moon in Leo, and everyone wants attention. Sun/Venus both square Pluto in the morning, revealing the underbelly of relationships. Be gentle when discussing issues with anyone today. Repressed emotions and fears rise to the surface, driving us towards security. Also, Mercury opposes Chiron giving voice to the health and healing of deep emotional wounds. It’s a transformative day.

NOTE: For the whole week, subscribe to my Patreon page!
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Week of September 19th

Valentine Cameron Prinsep – At the First Touch of Winter, Summer Fades Away, 1897

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 26 Virgo
Mercury RETROGRADE at 4 Libra
Venus at 17 Virgo (not good, in her fall)
Mars at 15 Gemini
Jupiter RETROGRADE at 4 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE at 19 Aquarius (rulership)
Uranus RETROGRADE at 18 Taurus
Neptune RETROGRADE 23 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 26 Capricorn
North Node at 14 Taurus

We begin this week with a balsamic, fallow Moon, building towards a New Moon in Libra on Sunday, September 25th. Leading up to this New Moon, we have an opportunity to release our relationship blocks – especially romantic ones. It’s a good time to get clear on what you’re looking for in your love life. Venus, the planet of Love, is in her fall right now which means she is unable to express her true nature. It makes everyone, particularly women, less trusting and more critical than usual. The dark of the Moon, leading up to a New Moon in Libra, is a time for self examination about what you are projecting onto the people around you. Also, we are wrapping things up, finishing projects and adjusting to new conditions.

Everyone is going through some growth challenges right now. On Thursday, September 22nd the Sun enters Libra and we have the Fall Equinox! It’s such a relief after this brutal Summer. The Fall Equinox is a portal to our inner selves AND one of the most magical times of the year. This week is a major turning point, and if things have been feeling stagnant, you will see shifts happening.

Wednesday, September 21st: Moon in Leo on the last day of Summer is kind of perfect. The Sun’s influence is waning, and we are heading into the darkness. Moon opposes Saturn making us acutely aware of the passage of time. Don’t get pessimistic or slip off to the dark side. Get some last rays of sunshine and exercise. Moon squaring Uranus can be eye opening. Leo Moon brings style. Time to dress up with some glitz and glam.

Thursday,  September 22nd: Moon void-of-course in Leo ALL DAY! Look out for egos, tempers and stubbornness. Anything can happen during a void period, and this is a long one! There could be posturing with the Leo Moon demanding to be the center of attention. FALL EQUINOX. Sun enters LIBRA at 6:04pm Pacific. Equal day equal night. This is a special day. Think about the “seeds” you planted in March this year, are they bearing fruit now? What do you want to harvest?

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Week of August 22nd: New Moon in Virgo

John Dee Performing an Experiment before Elizabeth I, Henry Gillard Glindoni (1852-1913),

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 0 Virgo
Mercury DIRECT at 24 Virgo (exalted)
Venus at 11 Leo
Mars at 0 Gemini
Jupiter RETROGRADE at 7 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE at 21 Aquarius (rulership)
Uranus at STATIONING 18 Taurus
Neptune RETROGRADE 24 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 26 Capricorn
North Node at 17 Taurus

The Sun moved into Virgo on Monday, heralding the beginning of harvest season! The transition from Leo to Virgo is profound. With the Sun in Leo, we reveled in our true identity, and practiced new ways of expressing it to the world; now with Virgo we organize our lives and get to work.

Moon wise, we are in the last quarter of the Moon’s cycle, preparing for the New Moon in Virgo this Saturday the 27th. The week ahead is about wrapping things up, resolving issues, paying debts, and reflecting on our lives.

Mars entered Gemini on Saturday for the next seven months! That’s March 2023! In Gemini, Mars lets go of his armor and becomes a social butterfly, focusing on communication, solving puzzles and battles of strategy. People with anxiety might need extra support during this time, because Mars adds electricity to our nervous system. A good place to focus your attention for the next seven months is on freedom and liberation. Where do you need to set yourself free? Let yourself off the hook? Have some FUN and adventures? This transit is spectacular for studying a new subject, or applying your mind to solve any type of challenge.

Thursday, August 25th: Moon in Leo, and Mercury moves into Libra, the great balancer. Relationships of all kinds will be blessed this month with real understanding and progress between people. Mercury in Libra makes us aware of all sides of a situation, especially the viewpoints of others. The key is balance. Also today, we are in the darkest phase of the monthly moon cycle, preparing for rebirth this Saturday with the New Moon in Virgo. Lots of old feelings and issues could be coming up so we can release them.

NOTE: For the whole week, subscribe to my Patreon page!
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Week of July 25th

Sun at 2 Leo
Mercury DIRECT at 10 Leo
Venus at 8 Cancer
Mars at 12 Taurus
Jupiter at 9 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE at 23 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune RETROGRADE 25 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 27 Capricorn
North Node at 18 Taurus

The Sun moved into Leo last Friday, entering his home kingdom. The Sun is in his natural element in Leo, and shines his brightest! Now is the time to do Sun magick if you have the inclination. Focus on leadership and lead with you heart. Helping other people shine, is the best use of this energy. This week we are still in the 4th quarter of the Moon. We rest and wrap things up, all in preparation for the rebirth of the New Moon in Leo this Thursday.

Leo is our identity, and we discover who we are THROUGH being creative. What are you creating? What do you enjoy doing? We see ourselves through our play, our hobbies and crafts, our songs, and through our children. If you are still feeling a little lost from all the massive changes last year, try creating something. You will see yourself in that creation.

There’s a lot of big aspects this week. Uranus and the Moon’s North Node (destiny) are conjunct at 18° Taurus on Tuesday, which really stirs things up and creates new opportunities for the path forward. Many unexpected developments and events can pop up out of nowhere, sending you in a different direction. Mercury square Mars can raise tensions and road rage, so be calm while driving. And further out, Saturn is moving towards another square with Uranus. It’s happening now, but will be exact on October 23rd and will reignite some of the tensions from last year.

Wednesday, July 27th: Moon in Cancer goes void at 5:54pm Pacific, so stay home tonight and spoil yourself. With Jupiter standing still in the sky preparing to go retrograde tomorrow, indulgences abound. Go to the spa and eat whatever you want. Also today, Mercury in Leo trines Chiron-the-healer in Aries. There could be information, results or progress concerning a mental, emotional or physical health issue. Your inner voice is talking to you all the time, letting you know what you need.

Thursday, July 28th: New Moon in Leo at 10:55am Pacific indicates the start of a new lunar cycle. Let your creativity wander alongside your imagination. Focus on you, because you have gold to share. You have a rare and intrinsic quality that no one else has on the planet! Also, Jupiter Retrograde begins! Is life sending you in a new direction? Embrace it and go with the flow. Revelations abound.

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Week of July 11th: Full Moon in Capricorn

Sun at 22 Cancer
Mercury DIRECT at 11 Cancer
Venus at 21 Gemini
Mars at 4 Taurus
Jupiter at 8 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE at 24 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune RETROGRADE 25 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 27 Capricorn
North Node at 20 Taurus

This week is kinda tough because its impacted by Saturn and Pluto, the two planets that gave rise to the pandemic. These two don’t fool around – they demand we connect with truth, reality and our shadow sides. What’s the reality of your life, and what needs tending to? Is something blocking you from moving forward?

The week culminates with an earthy, Saturnian Capricorn Full Moon on Wednesday. It will be near Pluto, which has us drill down and get honest about our lives. If it sounds heavy, it is. Capricorn is a heavy sign, and there’s no goofing off. Saturn demands hard work in order to earn rewards. This is the fruition of what’s been building this month, and it engages Pluto: the planet of shadow and transformation. We each end the week in a different place than where we started. The energies of this Full Moon will unfold over the week ahead as well as the next six months. We will have peak experiences with our ambitions, career, and personal story.

Wednesday, July 13th: Full Moon in Capricorn at 11:38am. The Moon goes void-of-course at 6:17pm Pacific. The void Moon plus the heavy Saturn energy means it’s not a good night to go out and socialize. The Moon is in her detriment here – uncomfortable, heavy, and unable to express herself. Authorities will be rigid and uncaring. Energy is hard to get off the ground, control issues arise along with power struggles.

Mercury in Cancer sextiles Uranus in Taurus around 5:15pm, which can fire up our intellect AND bring surprises. Try new approaches to earthly matters, especially at work. Life starts feeling different.

Venus square Neptune at 10:24pm Pacific means avoid over indulging in addictive behaviors! It can cause relationship troubles. Instead, put that passion into creating something artistic, challenging, and beautiful.

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tips for managing depression

DEPRESSION TIPS:

Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancy and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

One more thing. If you can, go look in mirror and smile.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

* At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

* In case nobody has told you today, you are worth your weight in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

***People don’t fake depression.. they fake being ok.

Find something to be grateful for!

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.

800-273-8255

Week of May 16th

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 25 Taurus
Mercury RETROGRADE at 4 Gemini (rulership)
Venus at 14 Aries
Mars at 22 Pisces
Jupiter at 0 Aries
Saturn at 24 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune at 24 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 28 Capricorn
North Node at 22 Taurus

NOTE: If you’d like these posts delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday evening, feel free to join here, it’s only $1 per post ($4 per month):  https://www.patreon.com/LizRose93

Full Moon at 25 Scorpio last night at 9:14pm Pacific. The Moon is weak here, in her fall, meaning that emotions are not easily expressed. Scorpio is the Halloween sign, representing Autumn and decay. Taurus represents springtime, which emerges from the decay as the blooming and flowering of life. Both are dependent on the other and are deeply tied to life on earth. A Scorpio Moon can bring up issues around intimacy and vulnerability, power and control. Use this week to cut the cords of the past and put your energy into the present.

This is the development, the fruition, of whatever was happening two weeks ago. It’s a solar eclipse, which heightens everything and creates a “do or die” attitude. The Full Moon also squares Saturn in Aquarius. We look at our subconscious motivations and turn toward a new direction.

Plotinus wrote: “The stars are like letters that inscribe themselves at every moment in the sky. Everything in the world is full of signs. All events are coordinated. All things depend on each other. Everything breathes together.”

Monday, May 16th: Moon in Sagittarius, but last night’s Full Moon Eclipse in Scorpio is in full effect. No risk taking or pushing boundaries today, focus on yourself and your needs. Venus is conjunct Chiron, which promotes HUGE healing in relationships. Take a fresh look at your inner wounds and be open for new realizations. Today is transformative, so take an unwavering look at your shadow side.

Tuesday, May 17th: Moon in Sagittarius all day. Look at goals and aim for the highest ideals. Jupiter is squaring Lilith for the next couple of weeks, which can expand acts of authenticity and boundary setting. This aspect activates women, self esteem and fearlessness. Also last night we had a biggie – Mars conjunct Neptune near midnight. Strong energy for artistic, romantic, musical or spiritual pursuits. Hopefully no bad news regarding water.

Wednesday, May 18th: Moon in Capricorn, which is the Moon’s detriment. Another tough day for emotional sharing, so hold off if you can. The rest of the week is about hard work and earned rewards, because Saturn insists on commitment. The Full Moon is still unfolding, so there will be continued developments with current issues.

Thursday, May 19th: Moon in Capricorn all day so we follow our drives and ambitions. Do not seek concessions from authority figures – leave that until next week. Take stock of life and strengthen the foundation. Mercury sextile Jupiter is exact which lightens the mood.

Friday, May 20th: Moon in Aquarius. The Sun leaves Taurus for GEMINI at 6:23pm Pacific! We move from an Earth sign to an Air sign, which makes all of us feel lighter. With Gemini, our minds and social circles are activated. Lots of chattiness… talking is the way forward.

Saturday, May 21st: Moon in Aquarius and Sun conjunct Mercury is exact. These aspects, plus the Suns’ entrance into Gemini, make this a very “Airy” day. Mercury is retrograde though, so reworking old ideas or reorganizing your life are the best outlets. Air energy is mental activities, studying, short trips, puzzles, communication and community. Enjoy learning and good conversation.

Sunday, May 22nd: Moon in Pisces enters her 4th quarter, and we are in the dark of the Moon. Now is the time for solitude, introspection, and rest. Mercury moves backwards into Taurus and immediately squares Saturn (in Aquarius) in the morning. Guard against negative thinking or arguments with authorities. Release old habits and thinking patterns.