Category Archives: Psychology

It’s not what you think

Fantastic insights depression and the death of Chris Cornell. I also found this study that links addiction to childhood trauma:

http://upliftconnect.com/addiction-is-a-response-to-childhood-suffering/

IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING, PLEASE GET HELP. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, it’s a way of taking care of yourself and the people that love you.

The First Ten Words by Rich Larson

Chris Cornell, 1964-2017

Chris Cornell died early Thursday morning. His band Soundgarden played a show on Wednesday night at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Two hours after the show ended, he was gone.

For two days, I’ve been working on a piece to pay tribute to him, and it’s been a struggle. Usually when I have a problem like this it’s because I’m staring at a blank screen trying to figure out what I want to say. That’s not the problem this time. The problem is I have way too much to say.

I’m not going to sit here and claim to have been a huge fan of Soundgarden. I didn’t dislike them, I just had to take them in small doses. I was a fan of Cornell. I love “Seasons,” the solo song he had on Cameron Crowe’s movie, Singles. It’s a droning acoustic song about isolation and the…

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Narcissism

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Excellent article about being in a relationship with a narcissist. I’ve experienced this in my life and I feel lucky I broke free. This is great information that everyone should be aware of:

The Narcissist’s One Trick That Can Keep Us Hooked Forever.

By  | Textbook Narcissism :

“It’s the powerful emotional tool known as intermittent reinforcement, and when used correctly, it guarantees to get—and keep—virtually anyone hooked on anything.

Intermittent reinforcement is when one person in a relationship metes out or reinforces rules, rewards or boundaries occasionally or inconsistently. Instead of discouraging the other person, intermittent reinforcement actually does the opposite. It fuels their attempts to extract the reward once again, keeping them hopelessly locked onto the relationship.

Take for example a parent who says “no” to their child 90% of the time. It’s the 10% of the time the parent backtracks, which incites the child to whine, throw tantrums, or harangue to get another yes. Animals will do tricks every time, even after the trainer withholds the reward, like B.F. Skinner’s rat that hits the bar repeatedly for the chance pellet, over and over, whether it gets one or not. Gamblers, too, know that the intermittent reinforcement of the random, small pay out, will keep them at the slot machines until they empty their purses or pockets.

Those of you obsessed with checking your Tinder account, Tumblr blog, or Twitter, for the ambivalent thrill that comes with those hit-or-miss shots of validation, know what I’m talking about.

The narcissist knows what I’m talking about too. He is adroit at delivering a ping of validation when he senses you’re about to pull away, just to keep you tied to a relationship that serves his needs, usually at your expense.

It’ll be bad bad bad bad, but then all of a sudden good, and you are fooled into thinking good is here to stay. So you stay too. And like Skinner’s rat that starved to death in pursuit of the ever-diminishing, random reward, chances are you too will tolerate increasingly abusive conditions in the hope of catching hold again of a (brief) encounter with good.

But with a narcissist, the good is fleeting by design. That’s intermittent reinforcement.

Source: http://educateinspirechange.org/alternative-news/narcissists-one-trick-can-keep-us-hooked-forever/

If you’ve ever been stuck in the sticky grip of a narcissist, you know the drill. When the two of you first meet, the narcissist floods you with expressions of love. You are beautiful, witty, enchanting, the woman he’s always wanted but didn’t think existed. His search is over. Your shoulders relax, you let down your walls, throw open the gates. Your heart sings. You let yourself believe you’ve finally found the one.

Then, without warning, the narcissist switches tracks. Out of nowhere, you can’t do anything right. The qualities in you that she first exalted, are now your worst faults. She’s bored with you, disinterested. She starts to mention other guys, her old boyfriend. You think, what happened? You review everything she said, examining past events for clues that she really cared. Let’s see, she went to my hockey games, came with me to visit my mom in the hospital. Stuck love notes in my gym bag. Didn’t all that mean she loved me? What happened? Is it me?

No. It’s not you. You’re just caught in the narcissist cycle. The D&D, devalue and discard phase. The narcissist practice of projecting their internalized self-hate and disdain onto you, by doing and saying things to make you feel invalidated, rejected, and insecure.

Most of us with even a shot glass of self-esteem get hip to this, and decide to say sayonara. That’s when the narcissist will employ the emotional hook: Intermittent reinforcement. To keep you from exiting, the narcissist will do an about face, and signal you’re back in. He’s on time, attentive, he brings your favorite take out, remembers it’s your dog’s birthday. He takes you in his arms, the clouds part, and the light of his love shines down on you once more. You exhale with relief.

It won’t last. Doesn’t matter. Most of us will cleave to those haphazard disbursements as evidence that a loving, reciprocal relationship is still possible. After the investment we’ve made in the narcissist, we’re already set up to seize on reasons to ignore the bad stuff. So we hang in, continue to chase the good. The narcissist delivers her well-timed, little ping. We’re hooked.

The problem is, over time, the episodes of intermittent reinforcement get fewer and fewer, and the incidents of D&D increase. But the pain of D&D will never loosen the hook, as long as the narcissist continues to fall back on intermittent reinforcement. The only way to get free, is to adopt a strict no contact policy. The sooner the narcissist becomes a memory, the better off you’ll be.”

Venus Morning Star

Tuesday's Child

by Michael Parkes

Venus Retrograde 1:09am in Aries, Saturday, March 4th, 2017.

Venus goes into the underworld to reborn on April 15th as the Morning Star. This time is a slow down or withdrawal of issues regarding women, beauty, finances, art and socializing. It’s best to accept it, be patient, journey within yourself and support friends that are doing the same thing.

Old flames could come back into the picture to remind you of lessons learned, or to attain final closure. That being said the best focus is to work on your personal relationship with love and resetting your perspectives. This could be a time of solitude, or rekindling relationships that have become stagnant. The goal is to let go of the past so you can move forward on April 15th when Venus emerges reborn.

Excellent article on the Venus cycle:

The Venus Cycle
Herald of the morning – Venus as Morning Star by Julija Simas

 

“In ancient Lithuanian star lore, Venus as morning star was called Aušrinė and was seen as a second Sun. as she was the first to lighten the dawn, which is also the meaning of her name . She was also the daughter of the Sun together with her evening star sister Vakarinė. These two stars were the servants of the Sun, Aušrinė would bring fire, water and soup to the Sun and her husband the Moon(the Moon masculine?? Shows how ancient these depictions are) and the evening star Vakarinė would make their bed for the night.

These 2 obvious apparitions of Venus,  were often seen as 2 completely different stars, with 2 completely different identities and in many more cultures around the world. As we get to know the Venus cycle we get to see that Venus no longer is Venus just in a sign, or a house, but she is either an evening star or a morning star, and that she  is also  in one her of her phases as part of that apparition, which all  bring much more depth and meaning to our own natal Venus. For example Venus in Gemini in the 2nd house, square Jupiter may not be enough information to describe your Venus. Do you know if you were born with an evening star Venus or a morning star Venus? An easy way to tell is, if Venus is behind your Sun in the zodiac in your natal chart she is a morning star, and if she is ahead in the zodiac in your natal chart, she is and evening star. Say your Venus is 15° Gemini,  and your Sun is 10° Leo, Venus is behind in the zodiac, therefore a morning star. Or turn your chart as if the Sun is on the horizon-the Ascendant, if Venus is above the horizon she rises before the Sun and is a morning star, if she is below horizon she is an evening star. To determine what phase she is in your natal chart is a bit trickier. Which I will get to in another update.

As a renewed morning star Venus has many names and associations,  as she returns to the skies to shine her light, the Venus archetype becomes one more like a warrior, Aries like, promethean, eager and keen to get on with it, on a mission I like to say.
As a  morning star Venus is known as:

Phosphorus
Oriental (rising in the east)
Lucifer (the light bringer, the angel cast out of heaven who then becomes Satan in christian bible. The sacred feminine was regarded as too potent to deal with by the patriarchy establishing itself through various religions around the globe, making out that the power of the sacred feminine was dangerous and scary and not to be used, similar to the number 666)
Lights up the morning sky, is up before the Sun
Masculine, Diurnal, Yang
A Warrior goddess
She ascends rapidly –  (comes out of Sun’s beams quickly as Sun moves off ), still moving much slower than Sun
She descends slowly – as the cycle progresses she catches up with the speed of the Sun and even doubles it  (before disappearing for exterior conjunction) dimming as she moves further away from Earth
Visible 6-8 days after rx conj
Venus is now on a Mission
Gains light,, then loses light -peaks in crescent shape as she waxes to become full. Note we never see Venus in fullness phase, like  a full moon, as she is at that stage behind the Sun.
Begins as a crescent then waxes to fullness as she dims from our skies again toward superior conjunction

At each apparition as a morning star or evening star, Venus is known to have 7 phases(this varies depends on astronomer or astrologer)  at any particular phase the characteristics of Venus are determined by Venus being either:

Morning – Evening
Earthy – Heavenly  – (close to earth or farthest away)
Aphrodite Pandemos(earthy, lusty), Aphrodite Urania(heavenly, divine)
Visible or  – Invisible(visiting the underworld)
Fast or Slow
Ascending or Descending
Taurus or Libra
Losing light or gaining light”

Creative people’s brains really do work differently

” The common traits that people across all creative fields seemed to have in common were an openness to one’s inner life; a preference for complexity and ambiguity; an unusually high tolerance for disorder and disarray; the ability to extract order from chaos; independence; unconventionality; and a willingness to take risks.”

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