Women who chase avoidant men

“We may find distant or avoidant partners alluring because their avoidance is a challenge for our ego …

We might find it more exciting to be caught up in a push-pull dynamic with someone, than to say yes to love that is readily available and healthy for us.

The excitement comes from eroticizing rejection – it feeds that part of us that still feels like have something to prove.

Prove we’re lovable or worthy. That we are so special that we can change someone’s mind or behaviour.

But that excitement you feel is also draining your energy and soul-sucking on so many levels.

When we abandon ourselves for someone who’s undeserving of our energy, our inner-child is is usually hurting deeply and feeling afraid to be alone.

It’s ok to walk away when your heart isn’t being cherished, honored or supported.

We’re all going to have days where we show up as the worst version of ourselves.

But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be with someone who we know is in our corner.

Someone who loves us on the hard days and treats the relationship as sacred.

Any time we waste chasing someone to give us love, there’s an unmet internal need for love and nurturance toward our inner-child.

You don’t need someone to reflect back your wounds without being willing to heal with you.

You don’t need someone to trigger all of your insecurities by treating you like an after-thought or avoiding intimacy.

It might feel unnatural to let go of this type of connection because you’re breaking a very old pattern … you might even find it “boring” to move towards love that doesn’t trigger you.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you “crazy”, it means you really want to heal.

And to heal, you have to practice letting healthy love in.

Healing occurs as you sever your addictions to shadow relationships and move toward people who hold you in your highest light.

Healing comes from doing Self-acceptance work and making the relationship with YOU and your inner-child the number one relationship in your life.

And healing occurs from understanding yourself and your true nature in relationship.”

– from risingwoman.com

Week of May 24th

“The Call” by Orphne Acheron

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 4 Gemini
Mercury at 23 Gemini (rulership! Do Mercurial Magick now)
Venus RETROGRADE at 18 Gemini (neutral)
Mars at 7 Pisces (not great)
Jupiter RETROGRADE at 27 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn RETROGRADE at 1 Aquarius (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 24 Capricorn
Neptune at 20 Pisces (rulership, strong) update your dream.
North Node at 29 Gemini

The Sun is now in Gemini (The Twins), along with most of the inner planets AND the North Node (destiny). Gemini = ADAPTABILITY. How are you adapting to our new paradigm? Try a different point of view. We are focused like a laser on this area of our charts. If you want a personal reading on how this effects you over the next month, you can book a reading with me here.

The last month has been INTENSE with the Taurus/Scorpio axis in play. Lots of folks being stubborn and territorial. The mood will be lighter through June, however Gemini brings a strong desire to socialize, and you can see it with the country opening back up. Unfortunately, the background of the skies (and our society) is still ruled by Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter in Capricorn, which spawned the pandemic. This year is a time of major transformation and rebirth in our lives and culture. Continue to practice mindfulness, and remember, behind every polarity (Gemini) there is unity and the One. We are all ONE (Neptune).

Monday, May 25th: Moon in Cancer. It’s good to be a homebody today, although you might be tired of it 🙂 Do things to nurture yourself so you have a strong foundation for the week ahead.

Tuesday, May 26th: Moon in Cancer. People can be sensitive during this time, so try and be gentle with others. We get a glimpse of the future as Mercury passes over the North Node in Gemini.

Wednesday, May 27th: Moon in Leo. Roar like a lion. Today everyone wants a attention, so give some to yourself. Excellent creative day for music or art. Seek concessions from authority.

Thursday, May 28th: Moon void of course in Leo, and Mercury into Cancer. Our focus on sociability will shift back to the security of home. No big decisions today. Just follow your heart and continue your creative projects. Do not enter into negotiations and try not to sign anything.

Friday, May 29th: Moon in Virgo. Work on the house and organize your life. I often find myself doing that when the Moon is in Virgo without knowing it! Deep cleaning.

Saturday, May 30th: Moon in Virgo. Organize more and get the chores done. Make a healthy meal. Anything requiring attention to detail is highlighted.

Week of May 17th

Grand Schema Monks, Russian Orthodox Church, Balaam Monastery, Russisan Karelia 1888

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 27 Taurus
Mercury at 11 Gemini (rulership! Do Mercurial Magick now)
Venus RETROGRADE at 21 Gemini (neutral)
Mars at 3 Pisces (not great)
Jupiter RETROGRADE at 27 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn RETROGRADE at 1 Aquarius (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 24 Capricorn
Neptune at 20 Pisces (rulership, strong)
North Node at 29 Gemini

The Sun moves into Gemini (The Twins) this Wednesday in the early morning! Expect many more Zoom calls and online classes from people, since Gemini is the sign of communication and socializing. Mercury is fast in the skies right now, leading the Sun through it’s natural home of Gemini. We’re entering a phase of focusing the Mind and understanding what our thinking brings to our lives. Become present and mindful of your thoughts, because that is how you are creating your life experience. It’s hard to remain positive these days in the midst of so much challenge, but practicing mindfulness and being present can really help. Are you getting eight solid hours of sleep every night? Eating well and exercising? Reaching out to friends?

Many powerful planets are stationing (standing still), and moving into backwards motion (retrograde) right now. Two of them, Pluto and Saturn, spawned the pandemic, with their rare conjunction at 24 Capricorn in January. With these retrogrades, we will spend the summer going over ground we’ve already covered. On a personal level, this means going inwards to rediscover your true nature and purpose. Unfortunately, the economy might still be sluggish, so prepare for that possibility. For the next few months it’s about each of us reimagining and restructuring our lives. It’s good to focus on researching new possibilities for yourself right now.

Monday, May 18th: Moon in Aries. Starting the week off with lots of force and energy. Look out for head strong behavior. Don’t start something you can’t finish.

Tuesday, May 19th: Moon in Aries slowing down and entering Taurus at 7:10pm Pacific.

Wednesday, May 20th: Moon in Taurus. Sun enters Gemini in the early morning! We might all feel lighter now. It’s easy to get into the minutiae of things today, so aim for simplicity in your dealings with others. Negotiations, writing, mathematics, computer work are all highlighted today and this week! We learn from others. Share with your social circle and engage in fun activities. Great for online games too.

Thursday, May 21st: Moon in Taurus. Walk in nature, work in the garden and cook something scrumptious. Beware of overspending with online shopping.

Friday, May 22nd: New Moon in Gemini at 10:38am Pacific. This New Moon is exactly trine with Saturn in Aquarius, which accentuates the airiness of socializing and communication. However with Saturn things could have a serious note.

Saturday, May 23rd: Moon in Gemini. New Moon energy still prevalent. Socialize as best you can and let your ideas and creativity flow! Mercury conjuncts Venus which is a lovely aspect for meaningful conversations.

Week of May 11th

Sun in Gemini From Kitab al-Mawalid

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 20 Taurus
Mercury at 0 Gemini (rulership! Do Mercurial Magick now)
Venus at 21 Gemini (neutral)
Mars at 28 Aquarius (neutral)
Jupiter at 27 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn RETROGRADE at 1 Aquarius (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 24 Capricorn
Neptune at 20 Pisces (rulership, strong)
North Node at 29 Gemini

This week sees the change from the earthy sign of Taurus, to the airy sign of Gemini. Our focus changes from the Spring flowers, green hillsides and self sufficiency of Taurus, to the chattiness of the Gemini mind. Mercury is fast in the skies right now, and entering it’s natural home of Gemini (rulership) today!

Also, two of the key planets involved at the “Covid point” of 24 Capricorn are going retrograde or backwards this week. This is the corner of the sky where the Saturn-Pluto conjunction happened on January 12th that spawned the huge transformations taking place on the planet right now. We will spend the next several months going over ground we’ve already covered, so be prepared for that spiritual processing. I think we could have a resurgence of virus cases over the summer, so take care of yourself!

Monday, May 11th: Moon in Capricorn connecting with Pluto and Jupiter at 24 Capricorn (the Covid 19 point). When the Moon arrives there each month, our emotions can come up strongly in the form of great fear and sadness. We open up and process how these changes are effecting our lives. Nurture yourself today and ride the waves of feelings. Positive change can be yours if you put in the hard work. Mercury into Gemini.

Tuesday, May 12: Moon in Aquarius. Mercury trines Moon AND Saturn today = serious and productive conversations. Also, Venus retrograde in Gemini near midnight. Venus will be twirling around in Gemini – backwards and then forwards – until August 7th. Look back to 2012 to see how this could effect you, your relationships and your money. Gemini is cerebral, so it will be a chatty summer, especially over the internet. Issues around partnerships of all kinds could arise, both positive and negative.

Wednesday, May 13th: Moon in Aquarius. Mars entered Pisces in the middle of the night, which adds to the confusion. We need to connect with our spiritual side and be a channel for Divine Will. What do you need to surrender to? What will you sacrifice to reach your highest goals?

Thursday, May 14th: Moon void-of-course all day, then entering Pisces conjuncting Mars in Pisces. Take a deep dive into your Soul. What do you need to do differently in order to connect with your true purpose? What is your evolutionary intention? Also Jupiter retrograde in Capricorn today.

Friday, May 15th: Moon in Pisces. Today is a respite from all of the crazy changes! Take time to enjoy life and focus on your blessings.

Saturday, May 16th – Moon in Aries. Black Moon Lilith conjunct Chiron in Aries, and squaring the “Covid point”. We want our power back from this loss of control we’re all feeling. The only way to really do this, is to withdraw and get quiet – meditate and contemplate your Soul’s desire for this lifetime.

Sunday, May 17th – Moon in Aries squaring 24 Pluto (Covid point). Pluto presides over this year, bringing endings, death, deep transformation and catharsis. With Aries (the Self) involved, we ask ourselves “who am I now? Who am I without the job? The money I’m used to? My relationship? Without the future I had planned??” The answers will come, and will lead each of us to a more deeply satisfying life. I really mean that! The first step is practicing mindfulness, and learning how to listen to your inner voice.

Covid19 and the fairytale video that’s gone viral

Kiwi poet Tomos Robertson (aka Tom Foolery)

Kiwi-born poet, Tom Foolery has racked up over 24 million views on social media with his ode to a post-COVID world. Video by Will Trafford. Tomos Roberts – aka Tom Foolery – thinks Earth could be a better place after the coronavirus pandemic, expressing his thoughts in a bedtime story, looking back on the world.

“And so when we found the cure, and were allowed to go outside; we all preferred the world we found to the one we’d left behind.”

Here’s some comforting thoughts for you. So many people are stressed over the change that’s currently sweeping the world, and the massive effect it’s having on people’s money and social life. This wonderful bedtime story gives a long view perspective of what the world is going through. Take 4 minutes to watch it. I found it really comforting 🙂 I hope it gives everyone a brief respite from stress, and I’m sending huge love and hugs to the world. We can get through this.

Week of May 3rd: Full Moon in Scorpio

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 14 Taurus
Mercury at 11 Taurus
Venus at 20 Gemini
Mars at 24 Aquarius
Jupiter at 27 Capricorn
Saturn at 1 Aquarius
Pluto RETROGRADE at 24 Capricorn
Neptune at 20 Pisces

Monday, May 4th – Moon in Libra. Sun conjunct Mercury in Taurus, and Venus square to Neptune most of the week. Solid, earthy energy today. I know a lot of folks out there are worried about money, and/or looking for work. There could be some good progress this week with the Sun (vision), Mercury (communication) and Uranus (sudden change) in Taurus (Earth sign of resources).

Tuesday, May 5th – Moon in Libra. Day to get yourself into balance; whatever that looks like for you. Venus in Gemini in a Grand Trine with Mars in Aquarius and Moon in Libra. We experience the lightness of Air. Excellent communication today – both within ourselves and with our social circle. Lots of new, ingenious ideas available to us that we can apply to our lives.

Wednesday, May 6th – Moon in Scorpio. We’re under the influence of the Full Moon, which is exact tomorrow. Avoid social complications. If you HAVE to air your feelings, be gentle and take the other person’s feeling into account. Scorpio needs to express the truth, and can be too accurate and brutal about it, so be mindful in conversations.

Thursday, May 7th – Full Moon in Scorpio. Watch out for power plays at work or amongst your friends. The best use of Scorpio energy is to heal and rebirth yourself in some way, so transitions could be prominent this week. Focus more on where you’d like to go than on where you’ve been.

Friday, May 8th – Moon in Sagittarius. The mood lightens and we end this week on a positive note. Hopefully, the Full Moon brought some deep purging and new clarity about who you are and your direction. Sagittarius brings the Truth to us, along with new, exciting experiences.

Saturday, May 9th – Moon in Sagittarius. Excellent day for an outdoor adventure.

Five Things to Quit doing Now

Here are the five things everyone needs to quit right now:

1. Trying to please everyone.

You’re never going to make every single person in your life happy. So stop trying. Focus on trying to please yourself first and then help others do the same.

2. Fearing change.

Being afraid of the unknown is very common. We are naturally resistant to change. However, change is also very necessary for growth.

Don’t be afraid of things changing in your life. You never know what doors might open.

3. Living in the past.

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.”

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

4. Putting yourself down.

“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it’s place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.”

Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — And Start Standing Up for Yourself

5. Overthinking.

“Thinking too much leads to paralysis by analysis. It’s important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.”

– Robert Herjavek