Category Archives: LOVE

stand in truth


I learned that who doesn’t look for you, doesn’t miss you.
And who doesn’t miss you doesn’t care for you…
Destiny determines who enters your life but YOU decide who stays…
Therefore, value whoever values you, and don’t treat someone as a priority if they treat you as an option.

Singles Awareness

When The Rain Comes In Silence by Burçin Esin

As a follow up to my post on relationships, here’s a great quote for single people:

“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot.

Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”

—Emery Allen #TodaysMantra

Happy Love Day


Happy Valentine’s Day! I love to celebrate love because it truly is the reason we are all here. It’s the most beautiful part of being human! Well, that and melted cheese, but anyway….

The majority of my readings are relationship readings, and I want to share a few things I’ve learned throughout my career.

  1. The future is unknown. If you “let go and let god”, you will be amazed at what the Universe brings to your life. I’ve seen it happen over and over again. Literally ANYTHING can happen, and I believe the Universe wants us to fulfill ourselves. I’ve seen people find happiness while being single; people that feel hopeless about finding love, sure that they will “die alone”, end up in exciting, committed relationships. I’ve seen relationships come back from breakups and recommit; I’ve seen people thrilled with “the chase” and the rush of new relationships learn to love themselves and the unfolding of love.
  2. Love is in your ACTIONS, not your words.
  3. You have to be in reality. It’s easy to get swept up in romantic fantasies, but in the end they keep you from being present with the person you’re getting to know. The person you meet in the first three months of a relationship is not the real person. People are shy and it takes time to trust each other. Be patient and get to know people. This will keep you from getting hurt most of the time. I heard once it takes three years to really know someone.
  4. Speak your TRUTH. What is your truth? What’s really going on with you and your partner, and are you holding back on communicating something you need to get off your chest? If your partner can’t receive your truth, and shuts down communication all the time, you might have grown past the person. True love is when both partners want the relationship to work and want to respect each others’ feelings, needs, desires and goals.
  5. Respect other peoples’ TRUTH. Listen to what your partner says and respect what’s important to them. Really Listen. What are the other person’s needs, feelings and goals? Then honestly look and see if you’re in alignment with each other.
  6. Be aware of when you’re projecting your past hurts onto others. I think relationships are little incubators for us to heal our past traumas. Not everyone is capable of doing this, and that’s OK, but your stuff WILL come up!
  7. Don’t date someone’s potential. It’s hard to remember that when you’re in the throes of infatuation, or if you’re a highly intuitive person. What is the person doing NOW in the present? Because that’s what you got 🙂
  8. BE Yourself. It’s OK if you’re not perfect.
  9. Take responsibility for your own happiness. You can’t fix someone, and no one can fix you. Each person has to save themselves. Relationships work best when two people, each whole unto themselves, come together to share their lives. Expecting someone to make up for your deficiency just doesn’t work.
  10. Trust your instincts. Your gut will tell if you if someone is right for you or not.
  11. Practice gratitude and validation everyday! This helps us focus on what’s working, rather than focusing on problems.

I LOVE this guy too:

Have a great day everybody!

different relationship needs of men and women

This is so insightful about men’s and women’s different needs in relationships… what do you guys think?

 … from alarajrogers


“Oh my God this actually explains so much.

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.”


Love inSight

So glad I ran into this article today! I hope it’s helpful to other people out there. I’ve been in and out of a few relationships, and when I’m alone I’ve noticed this slight twinge inside that I NEED to be part of a couple, because that’s what humans DO. I know intellectually that this isn’t the truth, but I still run into it sometimes… the following article is a good cure for that type of thinking:


“Be Alone Until You Find Someone Who Actually Gives A Shit About You


Being alone is not scary, or bad, or a curse, or any other bullshit thing that people make it out to be. Being alone is also not lonely, unless you make it lonely.

Being alone is better than settling for a bunch of shitty dates that make you feel horrible about yourself or waking up next to some dude who thinks your name is Whitney when it’s not even close. Being alone is the time you have to get comfortable with yourself and that time is so important.

People get so stressed and worked up about being alone when there is no reason for it at all because being alone is as good or as bad as you make it.

Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t just say they will show up but actually shows up and shows up excited to see you. Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t make endless excuses and actually wants to spend time with you doing the things you want to do.

Be alone until you find someone who talks about you and who talks you up to their friends, or family, or coworkers, or the homeless dude on the street corner – literally anyone. Be alone until you find someone who is proud as hell to show you off because anything less than that is bullshit.

Be alone until you find someone who can’t wait to see you but not in an overbearing pushy, controlling manner but in an “I care about you” manner because yes, there is a difference between the two. And no, being with someone who controls you is not cool.

Be alone until you find someone you actually want to spend your free time with not someone you’re convincing yourself you like or worse – someone you have to convince to like you. Someone whose attention you have to beg for is not someone who is worth your time. If someone likes you, you will know otherwise it’s time to let them go and focus more on yourself.Be alone until you find someone who misses you when you’re not around, not someone who forgets you exist on the weekends unless they’re drunk and lonely. Be alone until you find someone who actually gives a shit about the way you feel. Not someone who says “oh well, you’ll forgive me later” or just expects you to get over it. Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t ghost you or leave you hanging more often than not.

Be alone until you find someone who is proud of you, who inspires you, who wants you to be better and wants to help you get there. Be alone until you find someone who erases your insecurities and makes you feel good in your own skin. Be alone until you find someone who puts you first and makes you feel like a priority because you don’t have time to be an option.

Be alone until you find someone who actually gives a shit about you. So many people settle for mediocre relationships with lame ass people – don’t be one of those people. Love is the one thing you should never, ever settle for.

Until then – be alone. You will thank yourself for doing so.”

Happy Valentine’s Day

I LOVE this day… relationship or not. I just LOVE LOVE.

To everyone out there, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day ♥

I also believe this is true:

“It is Almost Certain that Between Friends There is at All Times, a Silent Communication, a Sort of Unconscious Mental Conversation Going on Subjectively when This Rises to the Surface of Conscious Intelligence, it is Called Mental Telepathy. The Communication with Others is Going On at All Times, whether the Conscious Mind is Aware of the Fact or Not. We are Always Receiving Impressions that are More or Less Vague, and It is Seldom They Come to the Surface; but They are There Nevertheless and are Gradually Building into Our Mentalities Impressions and Forms of Thought that are Unconscious and Silently Perceived.”

~ Ernest Shurtleff Holmes, The Science of the Mind: Subjective Communication (1926)