Tag Archives: Love

Difficult People

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Difficult People

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn’t; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn’t mean we can’t love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.

We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms – taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.

This is the heart of detaching in love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.

to find love

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To a young woman seeking the right young man:

So many believe that love is a romance; that it is something into which you fall, suddenly, effortlessly.

Let me tell you what is true love.

Two people live together, care for each other, weather the storms together

—and one day they discover they cannot live without one another.

That is love.

Don’t fall in love. Create love.

  • Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Week of June 22nd

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The planets line up at dawn

Sun at 28 Gemini
Mercury DIRECT at 5 Gemini
Venus at 25 Taurus (rulership)
Mars at 18 Aries (rulership)
Jupiter at 6 Aries
Saturn RETROGRADE at 25 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune at 25 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 28 Capricorn
North Node at 22 Taurus

SUMMER SOLSTICE. Sun into Cancer, and the highpoint of LIGHT for the year! The longest day and the shortest night. We have the Sun shifting signs, and Venus (Love) conjunct the North Node (Destiny) in her home sign of Taurus. This aspect is about coming home to our physical body… coming home to a sense of comfort. Taurus is about becoming self sufficient.

Wednesday, June 22nd: Moon in Aries and Venus into Gemini. This is an energetic combination that adds fuel to the fire of yesterday’s rebirth. We become more sociable, intellectual, and light hearted. Venus in Gemini is related to The Lovers card in the tarot. The next few weeks is a great time for recommitting to relationships.

For the entire week feel free to join here, it’s only $4 a month: https://www.patreon.com/LizRose93

Thanks for your support!

Week of December 20th: Winter Solstice

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CURRENTLY:
Sun at 0 Capricorn
Mercury at 11 Capricorn
Venus RETROGRADE at 26 Capricorn
Mars at 5 Sagittarius
Jupiter at 28 Aquarius
Saturn at 10 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune at 20 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto at 25 Capricorn
North Node at 1 Gemini

NOTE: If you’d like these posts delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday evening, feel free to join my Patreon page here, it’s only $1 per post ($4 a month) and supports my writing! https://www.patreon.com/LizRose93

There will be continued developments this week from the dramatic Full Moon in Gemini on Saturday night. This Moon inspires us to start a new story in our lives; a new narrative. The Sun enters Capricorn on Tuesday, ushering in the Winter Solstice. We leave the optimistic fires of Sagittarius for the stern, cold hillsides of Capricorn. This turns our focus to the foundations of our lives, and creating new stability. With Capricorn season, the mood withers, and we are faced with reality, the bottom line, our career, finances and survival.

Monday, December 20th:  Moon in Cancer makes some lovely aspects but brings heightened sensitivity, so step carefully around peoples’ feelings. Go with the flow of your life, and put your energies towards things you have control over. The Moon in Cancer (the Moon’s natural home), on a MONDAY (day of the Moon), means you can do big Moon Magick. Anything involving security, the home, plants, cooking, nurturing, children, fertility or creativity is highlighted.

Tuesday, December 21st: Winter Solstice. Sun enters Capricorn at 8:00am, and the Moon is void-of-course in Cancer, entering Leo at 1:54pm Pacific. The Moon opposes Venus and Pluto too, which brings intensity to the day. Relationship issues could arise in order to be healed and released. Slow down and take your time with projects – there’s no rush.

Wednesday, December 22nd: Moon in Leo gives us a refreshed, lighter attitude today. Lead with your heart and focus on self expression. There’s some tricky aspects in the afternoon though: Moon opposes Saturn and squares Uranus in the late morning. This could bring up difficulties, and you’ll need to work to solve them. Patience is the only way through these energies. Take a break if you need to.

Thursday, December 23rd: Moon in Leo sextiles Neptune, Pluto and Venus today. This can bring small, positive developments with relationships. Peace can be achieved, and people will seek to connect through natural affinity. Today is good for seeking acknowledgement and cooperation from those in leadership positions. Also, entertainment will bring relaxation and happiness.

Friday, December 24th: Christmas Eve. Moon in Virgo makes us budget conscious, so last-minute shopping could become practically oriented. Also, the third and final Saturn square Uranus is exact today, igniting the friction between the old way of doing things and the new world approaching us. This has been the ongoing influence of this entire year – the battle between the old, traditional world and the new, progressive future. Choose your battles.

Saturday, December 25th: Christmas Day. Moon in Virgo trines Uranus and Mercury, which can bring sudden surprises. It will be a busy day. The best use of Virgo energy today is to follow a plan, put out healthy snacks, be of service and keep the house tidy. Avoid criticism and over-analysis. There could be a dark undercurrent – with retrograde Venus conjuncting Pluto for the second time. Release old, toxic energies and focus on healing.

Sunday, December 26th: Moon in Libra enters her 4th quarter. Kwanzaa begins, and in England it’s Boxing Day. The Moon trines Venus and Pluto today, bringing positive developments to the themes of this week. Mercury also sextiles Neptune which allows our minds to wander and be inspired. Spend quality time with the ones you love.

Week of November 22nd

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CURRENTLY:
Sun at 0 Sagittarius
Mercury DIRECT at 25 Scorpio
Venus at 14 Capricorn
Mars at 15 Scorpio (rulership, do Mars Magick!)
Jupiter at 24 Aquarius
Saturn at 8 Aquarius (rulership)
Neptune RETROGRADE at 20 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto at 24 Capricorn
North Node at 1 Gemini

NOTE: If you’d like these posts delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday evening, feel free to join my Patreon page here, it’s only $1 per post ($4 a month) and supports my writing! https://www.patreon.com/LizRose93

There will be continued developments this week from the dramatic Full Moon Eclipse last Thursday. The energies around an eclipse are tricky. The best way to handle it, is to do chores, grunt work, meetings, or phone calls that you’ve been avoiding for awhile. An eclipse often helps us see things inside us and around us that have been hidden, but the best way to deal with it is to limit sudden surprises in your life. That means dealing with your life in a deep way.

In ancient times, an eclipse was thought to be a portent of doom – corresponding to the head (North Node) and tail (South Node) of a great dragon. The dragon’s head is forever hungry and consuming, so the idea is, if you’re handling things you’ve been procrastinating on, you’re feeding the dragon’s head true sustenance, and the neverending hunger might be abated. In two weeks we’ll have to deal with another eclipse involving the tail of the dragon. More on that later…

The Sun entered Sagittarius today! We leave the watery, ocean depths of Scorpio for the sunny hillsides of the Centaur. This week starts in the third quarter of the Moon, turning into a fallow Moon on Saturday. With Sagittarius season, the mood lightens and we become more adventurous, philosophical, and goal-oriented. Be on the look out for false optimism and arrogance though.

Monday, November 22nd:  Moon in Cancer. Everyone will be hyper-sensitive, so careful not to offend anyone today. Avoid social complications or “rocking the boat”. Instead, go with the current of your life, and put your energies towards things you have control over. The Moon in Cancer (the Moon’s natural home), on a MONDAY (day of the Moon), means you can do big Moon Magick. Anything involving security, the home, plants, cooking, nurturing, children, fertility or creativity is highlighted.

Tuesday, November 23rd: Moon in Cancer continues; she opposes Venus, then trines Mars and Neptune. Still avoid confronting anyone today – indulge yourself instead. Creativity is accessible, so develop ideas. Good for love, tending plants and animals, opening up and clearing the house. Moon opposing Pluto in the evening can put us in a dark mood, so focus on healing.

Wednesday, November 24th: Moon into Leo at 8am Pacific gives us a refreshed, lighter attitude today. This is further enhanced by the Moon conjuncting the Sun and Mercury, newly in Sagittarius. Have some fun! Mercury in Sagittarius sets our minds free and allows us to explore our personal life perspectives for the next few weeks.

Thursday, November 25th: Moon in Leo is the PERFECT placement for Thanksgiving. People will lead from the heart and seek to connect through natural affinity. Today is also good for seeking acknowledgement and cooperation from those in leadership positions; although you shouldn’t be working. Performances will be first rate.

Friday, November 26th: Moon void-of-course All Day in Leo makes this a bad day to spend money. We are more likely to buy things on a whim and regret it later. Can you do Black Friday shopping tomorrow? Moon goes into Virgo at 6:12pm Pacific, which makes us much more discerning and budget conscious.

Saturday, November 27th: Moon in Virgo enters her 4th quarter. Today we balance the books, manage our health, and tackle anything requiring attention to detail. We are busy busy busy. The Moon makes a couple of squares with Mercury and the Sun, and trines Uranus around 4:15pm. It could be an evening of pleasant surprises.

Sunday, November 28th: Moon in Virgo, going void-of-course at 4pm Pacific. Today we do weekly shopping and get organized. The Moon makes five positive aspects today, culminating with a lovely Sun conjunct Mercury in Sagittarius. This means that Mercury is “via combusta”, or lost in the fires of the Sun, and we must operate on instinct. Hanukkah begins at sundown.

One sided relationships

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I’ve had a few one-sided relationships in my life, and of course it all started with my relationship with my alcoholic father. When I saw this picture from the “Rising Woman” website, it really reminded me of growing up with a distant father. Seems like many kids who grew up in the 70’s experienced the same thing.

My dad had very low self esteem, and no tools to manage his emotions. The only thing he knew to do was drink and create emotional and physical distance from people. When my Mom left him in 1969, he punished her by emotionally abandoning me. The result was I had difficulty trusting men, and would usually choose someone who was a workaholic, heavy drinker, physically compromised or burdened with responsibilities.

Thanks to my work in programs like Alanon, I’ve been able to work through a lot of these issues. Alanon is free and available to anyone dealing with an alcoholic or addict. I highly recommend it! Here’s more information from Rising Woman about one sided relationships with romantic partners:

“Ever find yourself clinging to a one-sided relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner?

A good question to ask when we notice this is:

“What part of me is it that wants this so badly?”

Sometimes it’s our most wounded self… or our “child-self” that takes over and gets caught in the pain and fear of not being chosen.

… The fear of being abandoned.

Our emotions are powerful. And to become more Conscious and self-loving… It’s our job to learn how to listen to our emotions and act from a place of self-worth.

(Rather than react out of discomfort.)

We often simply mask our discomfort to avoid feeling abandoned, unloved, or unworthy, without really going to the root cause.

We’re temporarily soothing ourselves with a chase… or giving ourselves away in dead-end relationships.

… But we’re not actually getting what we want or what we deserve from a relationship.

If they say they can’t commit – Believe them.

If they tell you they aren’t ready – Believe them.

If they say “I like you, but I’m selfish” – Believe them.

People don’t necessarily want to hurt us, but the reality is, unless they’ve done their inner-work and are aware enough to act Consciously, their actions may be entirely self-serving; which leaves you feeling unsupported.

It’s up to you to be your own wise, nurturing and loving inner-parent.

Remind yourself that it’s safe to be loved…

That healthy love doesn’t have to be boring…

Learn to see the signs of when you might be confusing chaos with chemistry.

You are here to be loved and cherished.

You have the capacity to step into your worth. And stretch yourself to show up powerfully in all of your relationships.

It’s time.

PS. If you’d like to learn more…

Take the short quiz to discover your unique Relationship Signature here: https://risingwoman.com/discover/

Women who chase avoidant men

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“We may find distant or avoidant partners alluring because their avoidance is a challenge for our ego …

We might find it more exciting to be caught up in a push-pull dynamic with someone, than to say yes to love that is readily available and healthy for us.

The excitement comes from eroticizing rejection – it feeds that part of us that still feels like have something to prove.

Prove we’re lovable or worthy. That we are so special that we can change someone’s mind or behaviour.

But that excitement you feel is also draining your energy and soul-sucking on so many levels.

When we abandon ourselves for someone who’s undeserving of our energy, our inner-child is is usually hurting deeply and feeling afraid to be alone.

It’s ok to walk away when your heart isn’t being cherished, honored or supported.

We’re all going to have days where we show up as the worst version of ourselves.

But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be with someone who we know is in our corner.

Someone who loves us on the hard days and treats the relationship as sacred.

Any time we waste chasing someone to give us love, there’s an unmet internal need for love and nurturance toward our inner-child.

You don’t need someone to reflect back your wounds without being willing to heal with you.

You don’t need someone to trigger all of your insecurities by treating you like an after-thought or avoiding intimacy.

It might feel unnatural to let go of this type of connection because you’re breaking a very old pattern … you might even find it “boring” to move towards love that doesn’t trigger you.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you “crazy”, it means you really want to heal.

And to heal, you have to practice letting healthy love in.

Healing occurs as you sever your addictions to shadow relationships and move toward people who hold you in your highest light.

Healing comes from doing Self-acceptance work and making the relationship with YOU and your inner-child the number one relationship in your life.

And healing occurs from understanding yourself and your true nature in relationship.”

– from risingwoman.com

Don’t Ask Him Where Your Relationship is Going Because He’s Telling You the Whole Time

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“You just don’t like the answer“

EXCELLENT post by Niki Marinis:

“If he’s not asking you out often, he’s not interested in a relationship. If he only texts you when he’s bored at work, he’s not interested in a relationship. If you only hear from him in the middle of the night, he’s not interested in anything but sex.

This is also why you don’t only date HIM, you date tons of guys at the same time. Let the best man win, damn it.

What has this guy done to deserve your exclusivity? What has he done to prove to you that you should cut off all your other options?

You pressing him for a verbal answer isn’t going to make him want to be with you if he doesn’t already. It isn’t going to make you look like a confident, sexy woman, either.

A confident sexy woman is paying attention to who is paying attention to her. Period. If it’s not him, then he’s out of the running, or very low on the list.

This is YOUR love life. This is YOUR time and energy. Don’t be so eager to shove it in some random guy’s face. Stop committing to men simply because YOU like him. That doesn’t mean he likes YOU. Don’t choose him and then try to make him want you.

Stop opening the door every five seconds looking out to see who’s coming up the walk way. Be too goddamn busy to care who the fuck is coming to your door. And only open it for those who have the fucking balls to knock on it. Stop opening it and waving them in from the street.

Stop saying words. Walk the fuck away. They’ll notice that.

I was up late last night watching trash TV at the hotel my friend got to bribe me into taking her to LAX. I’m a sucker for down pillows and comforters and rooms I don’t have to clean.

She put on a show called Marrying Millions. Yep, that show exists. And I saw a perfect example of exactly what I’m talking about.

The couple is a 34 yo woman and a 29 yo millionaire entrepreneur/rapper man. They’ve been dating for a year. He got her a diamond bracelet for her birthday, not an engagement ring and she was pissed. She decided she needed to talk to him about this. (DON’T DO IT, I’m screaming at the screen)

She wants to know where this relationship is going. (yawn) She’s 34 and wants to get married and have kids and start a family.

It’s a relationship, not a business transaction. You’re dealing with an actual person with their own feelings and wants and timeline, not an inanimate object you can put anywhere you want.

He said he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he’s not ready to get married tomorrow. She doesn’t want to accept that. She wants a guarantee that if she waits he’ll marry her.

THAT’S NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK

No one can guarantee you shit. That’s the risk you take in love. Do you love him? Then it shouldn’t matter when it happens. And pressuring him isn’t going to make it happen any sooner.

Only it did. He took her to a ring shop the next day.

But here’s the thing: her pressure didn’t make HIM any more ready to marry her. It made him afraid to lose her, sure. So she was going to get a Shut the Fuck Up ring out of fear instead of an inspired, heartfelt proposal.

She said to him, “Are you doing this because you feel like I pressured you?” And THAT’S why you don’t do this kind of shit, because you will NEVER know the truth. You will NEVER KNOW if he asked you because you pressured him or because he really wanted to.

The ONLY way to know if a man truly wants to be with you is if it’s HIS idea, HIS choice, of his own volition and not from any emotional manipulation on your part.

Isn’t that what you want? Someone who wants you because you’re you and not because you have to convince/threaten/pressure them to be with you? That screams desperate, not confident. That screams willing to settle, not you’re the best choice for me.

Work on yourself. Build your confidence, self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem.

The more you love yourself the less you’ll be willing to settle for and/or throw yourself at the next remotely passable guy who shows you basic human kindness that you confuse for romantic interest.

SPOILER: the diamond bracelet was CZs and they’re still not engaged. Shocker.

Full Moon in Gemini

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Nicho

Sankt Nikolaus and the Krampus

Sun at 19 Sagittarius.
Mercury is now DIRECT at 2 Sagittarius (detriment… not happy).
Mars at 14 Scorpio (strong) and Venus at 19 Capricorn (weak).
Jupiter at 1 Capricorn (in it’s fall, or weakened).
Saturn at 19 Capricorn, Pluto at 21 Capricorn.
Neptune at 15 Pisces.

Full Moon in Gemini on Wednesday, Dec. 11th at 9:12pm. The theme is LIBERATION, and it will effect everyone individually depending on where it falls in a chart. This week we are resolving dualities, and looking for the unifying energy. As we inch closer to the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in January, it’s time to get our affairs in order. A glimpse of January’s event appears this week as Venus conjuncts Saturn and Pluto. A huge shift is arriving next month; it will deliver either a sobering wake-up call, or rewards for hard work.

Jupiter entered Capricorn last week, marking a significant shift for the next year. Our desires and ambitions experience new limits or obstacles. Think back 12 years ago, and what was going on in your life. With Jupiter in Capricorn, you’ll find some of these themes repeating in your life, but in a different way. Jupiter is not happy (or in it’s fall) in Capricorn, but there are some good character-building qualities to this placement. Jupiter in Capricorn grounds us, and helps us accept the realities of personal achievement. We focus on creating solid foundations, and develop the patience for long-term ambitions to be realized. We get to work. If you want a personal reading on how this shift will affect you, schedule me here.

Wednesday, 12/11: Full Moon in Gemini at 9:12pm. Catch up with friends, take short trips, call your family and engage with your community. Messages could arrive from the universe today, so pay attention to synchronicities. Great day for writing, negotiation and expressing your genius in creative ways.

Thursday, 12/12: Moon in Cancer. And just like that we are in the realm of Crab; we withdraw into our shells and comfort zones. The power of the Full Moon is still in effect, so be sensitive to people’s feeling today. Focus on self care, and work around the house.

Friday, 12/13: Moon in Cancer. The mood might lighten a bit today, but still avoid social complications – especially in personal relationships. It’s a romantic evening though.

Saturday, 12/14: Moon void-of-course in Cancer all day. Indulgence. Allow yourself to relax, eat too much food and engage in escapism. Not much progress can be made today to go with the flow.

Sunday, 12/15: Moon in Leo. Today we bust out of the quiet, Cancerian mode and move towards matters of the heart. The emphasis today is on personal achievement and artistic expression.