“A woman is powerful when her first word isn’t ‘sorry’. A woman is powerful when you forget who the man in her life is. A woman is powerful when she follows her gut. Any woman who belongs to herself has power, and that power is perceived as dangerous.”
— Joan Juliet Buck
“We can let ourselves be close to people.
Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.
When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person’s character defects, and then make it so big it’s all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.
We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.
We may tell ourselves we don’t want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.
Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren’t available for intimacy – people with active addictions, or people who don’t choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.
We’re afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We’re afraid that closeness means we won’t be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.
In recovery, we’re learning that it’s okay to let ourselves be close to people. We’re choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, “We’re learning that we can own our power with people, even when we’re close, even when the other person has something we need.”
Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that’s appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.”
– The Language of Letting Go
This week is the 4th quarter of the Moon, the “darkest” time of our current lunar month. This week we rest and wrap things up; all in preparation for the rebirth of the New Moon in Leo this coming Saturday. It will be another eclipse too. If you go out at sunset each night this week, you will see the moon’s light diminish until she completely disappears into the fiery light of the Sun. Don’t overschedule yourself or work too hard. Take some afternoon naps. Focus on finishing things – next week is the time to start new projects or habits.
Monday, August 6 – Moon in Gemini (Mercury still retrograde), Venus into Libra and Uranus stationing. Lots of energy, communication and ideas flying around today. Be slow and thorough, and handle one thing at a time. Don’t get caught up in other peoples’ instability. Venus in Libra is very happy! Do some art or hang with friends.
Tuesday, August 7 – Moon void of course in Gemini all day, and Uranus retrograde in Taurus. Stay home if you can or work in your garden. Today could be really crazy, with lots of unstable changes happening all around you. Careful while driving or on transport. Keep slowing yourself down and doing one thing at a time. Don’t act on impulse this week.
Wednesday, August 8 – Moon in Cancer. Spoil yourself. Go to a spa. Eat whatever you want. Uranus still stationing overhead, so avoid social conflicts. Connect with your inner voice, and hear what it’s telling you. Is life sending you in a new direction? Embrace it and go with the flow. Revelations abound. Don’t overspend.
Thursday, August 9 – Moon void of course in Cancer all day. Avoid important negotiations or conversations. Today is NOT the day for a house meeting. Keep a cool head and a discerning heart. FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIFE. Let your creativity wander.
Friday, August 10 – New Moon in Leo begins. A splendid day. Allow yourself all the pleasures available. Assume leadership if needed and tackle responsibilities. Let your light shine. Good night to see a performance.
Saturday, August 11 – New Moon eclipse in Leo at 2:58am. Be creative, hang out with family and children, and let your light shine some more.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I love to celebrate love because it truly is the reason we are all here. It’s the most beautiful part of being human! Well, that and melted cheese, but anyway….
The majority of my readings are relationship readings, and I want to share a few things I’ve learned throughout my career.
- The future is unknown. If you “let go and let god”, you will be amazed at what the Universe brings to your life. I’ve seen it happen over and over again. Literally ANYTHING can happen, and I believe the Universe wants us to fulfill ourselves. I’ve seen people find happiness while being single; people that feel hopeless about finding love, sure that they will “die alone”, end up in exciting, committed relationships. I’ve seen relationships come back from breakups and recommit; I’ve seen people thrilled with “the chase” and the rush of new relationships learn to love themselves and the unfolding of love.
- Love is in your ACTIONS, not your words.
- You have to be in reality. It’s easy to get swept up in romantic fantasies, but in the end they keep you from being present with the person you’re getting to know. The person you meet in the first three months of a relationship is not the real person. People are shy and it takes time to trust each other. Be patient and get to know people. This will keep you from getting hurt most of the time. I heard once it takes three years to really know someone.
- Speak your TRUTH. What is your truth? What’s really going on with you and your partner, and are you holding back on communicating something you need to get off your chest? If your partner can’t receive your truth, and shuts down communication all the time, you might have grown past the person. True love is when both partners want the relationship to work and want to respect each others’ feelings, needs, desires and goals.
- Respect other peoples’ TRUTH. Listen to what your partner says and respect what’s important to them. Really Listen. What are the other person’s needs, feelings and goals? Then honestly look and see if you’re in alignment with each other.
- Be aware of when you’re projecting your past hurts onto others. I think relationships are little incubators for us to heal our past traumas. Not everyone is capable of doing this, and that’s OK, but your stuff WILL come up!
- Don’t date someone’s potential. It’s hard to remember that when you’re in the throes of infatuation, or if you’re a highly intuitive person. What is the person doing NOW in the present? Because that’s what you got 🙂
- BE Yourself. It’s OK if you’re not perfect.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness. You can’t fix someone, and no one can fix you. Each person has to save themselves. Relationships work best when two people, each whole unto themselves, come together to share their lives. Expecting someone to make up for your deficiency just doesn’t work.
- Trust your instincts. Your gut will tell if you if someone is right for you or not.
- Practice gratitude and validation everyday! This helps us focus on what’s working, rather than focusing on problems.
I LOVE this guy too:
Have a great day everybody!