Tag Archives: psychic reading

An Adult’s Guide to Social Skills, for Those Who Were Never Taught

This is the most important thing a person an learn in their lifetime, and if you were never taught, you can learn it. Mastering this will make your life much better – in every possible way. If you struggle financially, or with loneliness, this could be part of it.

“It’s a shame so few of us are taught the basics of how to interact constructively with each other. If you never were, we’re here to help.

Learning social skills can be difficult if you weren’t exposed to traditional group dynamics as a child, if you struggle with a mental illness like anxiety or depression, or even if you just didn’t have a lot of positive role models when you were growing up. Young people tend to learn how to manage their own emotions, recognize those of other people and manage them both effectively by socializing. If these weren’t skills you developed growing up, don’t worry. You’re not alone.

Before we get to specific social situations, we should discuss the concept of emotional intelligence (or E.I.). Put very simply, E.I. is your ability to acknowledge your own emotions, recognize emotions in others and use that information to guide your behavior. This is a relatively new area of study in the field of psychology, and developing your own E.I. can help you understand and improve your social interactions.

There are several models of emotional intelligence, but for our purposes, we’ll look at the author Daniel Goleman. He outlines five general categories of E.I. that complement and support one another.

  • Self-awareness: This simply means being able to identify your own emotions and how they work. Are you anxious in loud environments? Do you get angry when people talk over you? If you know these things about yourself, then you’re practicing self-awareness. This can be more difficult than it sounds, but simply being aware of yourself is all it takes for this step.
  • Self-regulation: Taking it a step further, self-regulation deals with your ability not just to know your emotions, but manage them. Sometimes that might mean handling them as they come up. If you get angry, knowing how to calm yourself down is important. However, it can also deal with managing the emotions you will face. If you know that stalking your ex’s Facebook is just going to make you feel bad, self-regulation would help you go do something to better your own life instead.
  • Motivation: External factors like money, status, or pain are powerful motivators. But in Goleman’s model, internal motivation is a key component. This means that you know how to manage your own motivation and create or continue projects because you choose to, not because something outside yourself demands it.
  • Empathy: It’s just as important to be aware of the emotions of others. This might mean developing the skills to recognize how people are expressing themselves — can you tell the difference between someone who’s comfortable versus someone who’s anxious? — but it also means understanding how other people may respond to the circumstances they’re in.
  • Socialization: This area deals with your ability to steer your relationships and navigate social situations. It doesn’t mean controlling others, but understanding how to get where you want to be with other people. That might mean conveying your ideas to co-workers, managing a team, or dealing with a conflict in a relationship.

Every social situation is different and there isn’t always a “correct” way to handle any of them. However, when viewed through the lens of these core competencies, most social situations become a lot more manageable. We’ll go over some common scenarios even adults might struggle with, but keep in mind how these principles can apply in all situations.

Confronting someone when you have a problem with that person can be scary. If you’re the type to avoid conflict, you might rationalize it away by saying you want to keep the peace, or you don’t want to upset anyone. However, this can be a way of avoiding your own feelings. If there wasn’t something bothering you, there would be nothing to confront anyone about.

Dr. Ryan Howes, a clinical psychologist, explained to Psychology Today that it’s our own fears that keep us from confronting others. Our fear that we’ll lose something we have, that we’ll hurt someone we care about, or that it will hurt but accomplish nothing. One of the first steps to constructively confronting someone is to recognize that fear in yourself and identify the real issues that led to the conflict in the first place. If you’re annoyed that your partner forgot your birthday, for example, ignoring how you feel about it won’t resolve the conflict.

Once you’re ready, Gregg Walker, a professor at Oregon State University, recommends having the conversation when there’s time to discuss the issue, focusing on “I” statements like “I feel hurt that we didn’t do anything for my birthday,” and describing behavior and your reaction to it, rather than hurling accusations. Healthy confrontations require a fair amount of awareness of your own emotions, so this is a good time to practice that skill.

Whether it’s a meeting or a party, any time you get more than a couple of people together in a group, it can become difficult (if not impossible) to get a word in edgewise. While most tricks on how to combat this involve managing how you talk — pausing in the middle of a sentence rather than the end, or finishing your sentence even if someone tries to interrupt — an often overlooked issue is managing how you react to being talked over.

It would be great if everyone was polite and let you finish or paused to ask what you’re thinking. This doesn’t always happen. If someone interrupts you and you become annoyed, that can kill your motivation to speak up again. Or you might become visibly agitated and demand to be heard, which can be off putting and make people less likely to want to listen to what you have to say.

Instead, Chris Macleod, counselor and author of “The Social Skills Guidebook,” suggests accepting that group conversations are a “vortex of noise and chaos” and going with the flow. Don’t spend all your time trying to fit in that one thing you badly wanted to say. Instead, go with the flow of the conversation and look for new opportunities to jump in. When you do, speak loudly and with confidence. More practical tricks like keeping your stories short or framing a complaint as a story can smooth over the experience, but regulating your own frustration and annoyance is the foundation these tricks build on.

When you’re young, making friends can be relatively easy. School often means that there’s a group of people you’re required to hang out with who are your age. You may share some interests, and you’ll see one another almost every day. As an adult, it can be harder. Everyone’s busy, everyone’s tired, and time feels in short supply. Or so it seems. What really may be lacking is motivation.

As Vox explains, one of the most important keys to developing a new friendship is, well, showing up. You both say, “We should hang out sometime!” but for some reason you never do. Why? Sure, you have things going on, but you still managed to binge watch the latest “Stranger Things.” There’s nothing wrong with a little “me” time, but it’s also O.K. to spend some of it reaching out to someone new.

When making new friends, you have to start with some internal motivation. Decide for yourself that you’re going to make friends and then put yourself in situations where that can happen. Take a class, join a club, or just talk to people you know but aren’t friends with yet. More important, follow up. If you find someone you want to be friends with — and especially if there are indications that person wants to be friends with you, too — put it on the very top of your to-do list to follow up. You’ll be surprised how easy it is when you do it on purpose.

Talking to a stranger for the first time — whether it’s at a party, a work event, or just on the street — can be complicated. You never know less about someone than when you first meet them. That’s also something you can use to your advantage. People like to talk about themselves. So much so that, according to research from Harvard University, people will sometimes even give up money to be able to talk about themselves.

You might feel awkward or uncomfortable when you’re out on your own, but practicing a little empathy can reveal a powerful truth: So does everyone else. Research from the University of Chicago found that less than 47 percent of its participants believed a stranger would be willing to talk with them. In reality, every attempt was successful. Most of us are willing to have a conversation, we just don’t always want to be the one to make the first move.

However, not everyone is open to a conversation with strangers all the time. An easy way to check is to pay attention to what they’re doing at the time. Are they wearing headphones? Do they seem in a hurry? Are they at their job and only making conversation as part of their duties? If so, you might try again later (or with someone else). If they’re not busy, start by saying hello or opening with a compliment. From there you can keep the conversation going with the “insight and question” method. Simply offer an observation or insight, follow it up with a question, and let the conversation flow naturally.

These are far from the only social situations you might find yourself struggling with, but the principles that can be applied are nearly universal. Acknowledge your own emotional state and manage your needs and feelings in a constructive way. Take the initiative to pursue the social outcomes you want, and empathize with others who are dealing with the same struggles you are. With practice, the rest of the complex nuances of social interaction will flow a lot more naturally.

Yule astrology

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“Druids Cutting the Mistletoe on the Sixth Day of the Moon” by Henri Paul Motte (France, c.1900)

Sun at 5 Capricorn.
Mercury DIRECT at 0 Capricorn.
Mars at 25 Scorpio (strong) and Venus at 9 Aquarius.
Jupiter at 5 Capricorn (in it’s fall, or weakened).
Saturn at 20 Capricorn, Pluto at 22 Capricorn.
Neptune at 16 Pisces.

If you feel like you’re in an intense time of transformation, you are correct. We are being asked as individuals, and a society, to rise up to the next level of our soul consciousness. First, the Winter Solstice last week demanded we release our dead weight. It’s now Winter, and there’s a primal urge to release that which no longer serves us. It will become imperative this month as Saturn and Pluto join in a rare conjunction on January 12th at 23 degrees Capricorn. We’ve been building up to this event for months now, and it has finally arrived! These two powerful planets govern our responsibilities, maturity and evolution. The Sun has passed the Galactic Center, and is reborn into a new year. We have a new beginning within our grasp, and we are being called to operate within the Truth and mystery of our Universe. We are all stardust, and our internal universal codes are being activated on a deep level.

All of this activity is aimed squarely at Capricorns, but all of the earth signs (Taurus and Virgo) will feel the impact. Any planets you have in your chart near 23 degrees Capricorn, Aries, Cancer or Libra are being blasted with powerful energy. You can’t ignore these life aspects now. If you’d like a reading to see how this effects you personally, you can book me here.

If all that wasn’t enough, we had an eclipse on Christmas Day in Capricorn! It was probably an intense day for many people. Eclipses tend to highlight unresolved emotions and stuck areas in our lives. We are now between eclipses, the next one showing up on January 9th in Cancer – just three days before this momentous conjunction.

Right now, Saturday, we are experiencing a Sun and Jupiter conjunction, which expands the opportunities for our soul’s vision. It’s a happy aspect, since both planets are over supplied with optimism, wealth, hope and healing. You can make some progress on important tasks today.

In general, it’s best to take things a day at a time right now, and prioritize your responsibilities. Stay present with your feelings and keep communications clear with loved ones. Take ownership of your life, work hard, and everything will go smoothly. More to come next week 🙂

Proof of Psychic ability

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Here is a true story proving psychic ability exists and is a real quality that humans possess. Not all psychics are authentic or honorable, but the ABILITY is real 🙂 This has been proven to me over and over again in my practice. I’ve seen and heard things that have no other explanation.

“Psychologist Imants Barušs once tested a medium by asking her to contact the spirit of physicist Richard Feynman and provide answers to specialist questions beyond the medium’s knowledge. Once contact was established, Barušs asked the spirit for the “fine-structure constant,” which is approximately 1/137. The medium answered, “Zero. Eight.” Barušs cut her off, saying that was incorrect. The spirit protested and mentioned something about a capital M. Barušs responded, “There is no capital M.”

A week later, Barušs’ colleague, Julia Mossbridge (capital M), heard of the encounter and shared this quote from Feynman:

“There is a most profound and beautiful question associated with the observed coupling constant, e–the amplitude for a real electron to emit or absorb a real photon. It is a simple number that has been experimentally determined to be close to 0.08542455. (My physicist friends won’t recognize this number, because they like to remember it as the inverse of its square: about 137.03597..)”
Any other physicist might have said 1/137, or 0.00729; but Feynman would have given √0.00729 or .08542455. BOOM.

[Paraphrased from I. Barušs and J. Mossbridge (2017), “Transcendent Mind: Rethinking the Science of Consciousness” (Washington, DC: APA), 193-4.]

Week of July 1st

moonNew Moon in Cancer on Tuesday.
Mercury at 2 Leo.
Mars into Leo Monday, 7/1.
Venus at 26 Gemini.
Jupiter at 17 Sagittarius, retrograde.
Saturn, Pluto at 20ish Capricorn, retrograde

Monday 7/1: Moon in Gemini, into Cancer early evening. Careful not to offend anyone today; avoid social complications. Mars into Leo at 1:20pm. We are in the orb of the New Moon, a solar eclipse in Cancer, and emotions are near the surface. People are hyper-sensitive and unwilling to face conflicts. Go with the current of your life, and put your energies towards things you have control over.

Tuesday 7/2: New Moon, Solar Eclipse at 10 Cancer at 12:16pm Pacific. Avoid confronting anyone today – but allow yourself to be indulgent. Aries, Cancerians, Libras and Capricorns, be on your best behavior this week; keep yourselves well rested. Good day for creativity, love, tending plants and animals, opening up and clearing the house. We begin a new monthly cycle today.

Wednesday 7/3: Moon in Cancer all day. Simmering tensions can erupt, so keep your cool until you can approach a dispute in a calm and neutral way. Try not to take things personally.

Thursday 7/4: Moon in Leo. Today is a better day to seek acknowledgement and cooperation from those in leadership positions. It’s a good night to go out and socialize.

Friday 7/5: Moon in Leo. Definitely go and see a show.

Saturday 6/22: Moon into Virgo. Today we balance the books, do weekly shopping and get organized. Tackle anything requiring attention to detail.

Cancer:

The Sun is in Cancer until July 21st; cruising along with the North Node and opposing Saturn and Pluto at various points. This is a month of extremes, and balancing the need to nurture others with the more important task of taking care of ourselves. Learn to be your own Mother, and don’t depend on others to fill that role.

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which rules the tides of our emotions, maternal instincts, fruitfulness, creativity, the womb, and other concepts around nurturing. It’s the most nostalgic of the signs, which means Cancerians are deeply connected to their families and ancestors. They are in spiritual communication with ancestral places and people. This quality also lends itself to psychic ability. They feel what’s going on with their surrounding people and environment.

Traditionally, the sign of Cancer is seen as the personality closely connected to the Home. Wherever Cancer falls in your chart, that is the place where you experience great sensitivity and fertility. Also, Cancer rules the 4th House, which symbolizes our Home and Family roots.  This makes Cancer uniquely gifted at communicating with house spirits and earth deities.

Because Cancerians “feel” things so tangibly, it’s difficult to have deep, real, constructive communication with them. They are like the crab on the seashore that moves side to side to avoid conflict – and often resort to passive-aggressive behavior. They hide in a thick, hard shell and are obsessed with security. They can be extremely moody as well. But on the whole, they are fantastic people to associate with, due to their vulnerability. They teach us all that emotions are real, important, and need to be valued and expressed to live a full life.

 

Week of April 22nd

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Sun in Taurus.
Mercury Direct in Aries: Refresh your mind and begin something.
Venus in Aries: Rebirth in art, love and finances. Make a fresh start.
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter retrograde (backwards) in Sagittarius
Saturn/Pluto conjunct in Capricorn

Keep a low profile this week, meet your responsibilities and don’t rock the boat. There is huge energy under the surface that is unearthed this week in our personal and collective lives, and we need to be nourished, contemplative and calm to walk through it.

Sunday, April 21st – We start the week off with a bang. Sun conjunct Uranus in Taurus shakes things up around what we value – especially our love lives. Our values, as well as home, possessions and finances, could take a completely different direction. Go with the flow and accept the change, because it is the path to liberation.

Monday, April 22nd – Moon in Sagittarius, Sun in Taurus. Get all loose ends tied up in preparation for the huge aspect on Wednesday.

Tuesday, April 23rd – Moon void of course in Sag most of the day. Try not to make big decisions or sign anything.

Wednesday, April 24th – Pluto is stationing (standing still above us) and turning retrograde (backwards) around noon Pacific time. At the SAME TIME, Pluto will be conjuncting Saturn (timing, responsibility and control). This is a huge turning point in our personal lives and the world. The US is also having it’s Pluto Return – which can stir up revolution, reform and massive change.
Individually, our toxic, underlying issues are rising up to be healed by Pluto. This spurs us towards a rebirth of the structures we have built in our lives by Saturn. This is a BIG DEAL. If you’ve been stuck in self doubt, self hatred or living out other people’s ideas, prepare to be liberated and reborn. If you’ve built your life on shaky ground, or avoided responsibility for your actions, prepare to grow up fast. Sacrifice your past mistakes and weaknesses in the great fire of Pluto and start anew. Seek the light within you. Encourage it to grow. This conjunction sets off a major reorganization of our lives that will gain steam and relevance over the next several months. The goal is to create a new, sustainable paradigm for true living.

If you’re feeling tired or sick this week, please rest.
If you’ve been moving too fast, slow down.
If you’ve been overly focused on gaining approval from others, practice self care.
Stay connected with friends and family.
Stick to the facts and don’t take risks this week.
Change your daily habits.

Thursday, April 25th – Moon in Capricorn activates the current Saturn-Pluto hubbub, bringing up emotional responses to the issues at hand. Leave the past behind and bring in what nourishes you.

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Rasmus Berggreen, Into the Abyss

Friday, April 26th – Moon void of course in Capricorn most of the day. Contemplate the changes in motion. We are in the last quarter of the Moon, so you don’t have to work hard or begin anything new for the next week. Just rest, let go of what you’ve outgrown, and wrap up loose ends.

Saturday, April 27th –  Moon in Aquarius. Mars square Neptune in the early morning. It’s a good day to embrace visions, and take action on the ones that really call to you.  Just be really clear on what you’re doing before you take action. Neptune can make you spacy or bring up the desire to play the victim.

Monday, April 29th – Moon in Pisces. And if all that wasn’t enough!!! Saturn stations retrograde above us in Capricorn at 5:55pm Pacific. When Saturn retrogrades, things in our lives can feel less stable. More developments from the Pluto-Saturn conjunction last week could arise.
Focus on why you are here. What is your purpose in this life? Are you accomplishing it? If not, how can you find ways to restructure your beliefs and your habits to help instead of hinder your mission?

 

Week of February 4th

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Monday, Feb. 4th: New Moon in Aquarius at 1:04pm Pacific.

Currently:
Mercury and Lilith in Aquarius (strong)
Venus in Capricorn (diminished)
Mars in Aries, close to Uranus (strong)
Jupiter in Sagittarius (strong)
Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn (strong)
North Node in Cancer

Monday, Feb. 4: New Moon in Aquarius – new beginnings for the next month. We are refreshed! The goals you set today will come to fruition this August. Think about networking, the groups you are involved with, and the gains you’d like to make. Set goals around activating and expressing your personal form of genius. Everyone has something they can do REALLY well. Let your originality and unique nature shine.

Aquarius means: freedom, vision, independence, the FUTURE, eccentricity, social circle, original ideas, technology, the intellectual, the humanitarian, the big picture and the community. It is the sharpened mind in touch with higher frequencies.

Tuesday, Feb. 5: Lots of good, fresh energy can be accessed early on, but prepare for daydreams, intuitiveness and creativity as the Moon enters the watery dreaminess of Pisces at sunset. Good evening for spiritual or occult activities.

Wed. Feb 6: Float through dreams and visions today and let go of being overly productive. Stay cozy and spiritually connected. Try not to overindulge, or do it without the guilt 🙂 Negotiations could be hard to define, so do that tomorrow or Friday.

Thurs. Feb. 7: Moon square Jupiter today. Our minds are finding relief from the Pisces fog, as the Moon moves towards Aries. Jupiter helps you expand your habits towards reaching your goals. Focus today on where you’re headed, and put some energy towards it.

Friday, Feb. 8: Moon into Aries gives us some vitality! It’s on a direct intercept with Mars and Uranus though, which could lead to a combustible weekend. The Moon will be squaring Venus and Saturn in Capricorn today, giving everything the weight of REALITY. Not the best date night.

Saturday, Feb. 9: Moon trines Jupiter in Sagittarius today! We have a day of expansive moods and celebration. Might not get a lot done. This is a day for FUN.

Mercury entering Pisces until April 16th. This puts Mercury into its Fall – i.e. the sharpness of our minds is diminished, and we turn towards our imaginations. The next month is a time for visioning, self expression and creative writing. Careful not to go too far out into fantasy and delusion! Keep the ground under your feet.

Pluto Direct: Astro week October 1

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Pluto Direct: 7:03pm Pacific, Sept. 30th.

We are absolutely in the thick of it. Last week encompassed all the shadow themes of Pluto: addiction, obsession, sex, power, secrets, control, and the toxic sides of our psyche that desperately need healing. Over the past five months, during Pluto’s retrograde, each of us has looked for our own patterns around control and power. Do we use our power to help others? Do we abuse power and try to control or shame people? Do we hand our power over to feel safe or loved?

We are about to take the revelations we have received, and put them into positive practice. There’s a lighter side to Pluto – healing, evolution and rebirth. With Pluto’s help we find a new awareness around our deepest pain, we are purified and then magnificently transformed. All of us.

The USA is currently having a Pluto return – and we can clearly see these themes being played out on the national stage. Secrets are being brought out into the light, people in power are being confronted, and sexual crimes against women are being acknowledged and (hopefully) shown a new level of respect and understanding. Our country is absolutely divided in half over the injustices around race, and the huge disparities between the rich and the rest of us. Despite the intensity of these battles, the potential for real healing and a higher standard is possible. Pluto insists we evolve.

“When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Monday, October 1st: Moon into Cancer at 11:00am Pacific. A very sensitive day, so avoid too much truth. Be gentle with yourself and others today. If you need to indulge in comfort food, go for it.

Tuesday: We are in the dark of the moon, so take it easy this week. Catch up on rest and wrap up loose ends. Start new projects next week. Mars square Uranus ends today, closing an explosive period of male rebelliousness and entitlement. Last week’s full moon in Aries was played out by Kavanaugh in the Supreme Court hearings last week, while women’s search for the truth, justice and equality embodies Venus in Scorpio and the Libra Sun.

Wednesday: Moon VOID until 2:00pm, then into Leo. Continue to be low key and avoid social complications. This evening is great to go out and socialize or see a live performance.

Thursday: Moon in Leo. You can freely communicate anything you’ve been holding back this week. Leo validates our individual identities, and rules the heart and self expression. This is a great day to speak the truth to authority.

Friday: Venus Retrograde at 10 Scorpio. Experience some beauty today, and aim towards a light hearted social evening if possible.