Tag Archives: lovelife

Week of October 26th: Halloween

“Death” tarot card by Salvador Dali

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 4 Scorpio
Mercury RETROGRADE at 2 Scorpio
Venus at 28 Virgo
Mars RETROGRADE at 16 Aries (Rulership)
Jupiter at 20 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn at 25 Capricorn (rulership)
Neptune RETROGRADE at 18 Pisces (rulership)
Pluto at 22 Capricorn
North Node at 22 Gemini

Crossroads. This is the week leading up to Halloween; a primal festival with ancient roots. You can feel it in your bones. It is the last harvest festival of the year, the witches new year, and the last night before the fairies go underground for the winter. The boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead is at it’s thinnest point for the next several weeks.

Halloween is one of the year’s four cross-quarter holidays, and marks the midway point between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice. However, True Halloween occurs when the Sun reaches 15 degrees Scorpio, which is usually around November 7th. The Sun went into Scorpio last week, and we are officially in the season of death and rebirth.

Last week we released an old relationship pattern that no longer worked for us, and this week we begin a deep dive into exploring our passions, healing psychological wounds and uncovering hidden agendas. Sun in Scorpio represents honesty and passion, and wherever it appears in your chart is where you walk fearlessly through the shadows to find passion and treasure.

Monday, October 26th: Moon in Pisces. Sun and Moon in water signs makes this an emotional and spiritual start to the week. Take a break if you have to, so you can find your true feeling about a situation, and then express this honestly in your communications. Moon in Pisces allows for self forgiveness, abstract thoughts and creativity.

Tuesday, October 27th: Moon in Pisces, Mercury and Venus BOTH enter Libra! Yay! It’s rare for two planets to enter a sign at the same time – and from opposite ends. Mercury backs out of Scorpio and lands on the last degree of Libra, rehashing situations from the last week of September. Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) get some pleasant avenues opening up as Venus arrives at 0 Libra.

Wednesday, October 28th: Moon in Aries. Watch out for head strong behavior or taking on more than you can handle. The best use of this energy is handling situations that take courage and strength, and setting boundaries.

Thursday, October 29th: Moon in Aries conjuncts Mars and Black Moon Lilith. Tests might come up around your identity and who you are becoming. Best to go slow and stay present with yourself so you can respond properly in the moment. Each of us has a new way of being, and a new life, but with Mars still retrograde, it’s not the time to push forward yet.

Friday, October 30th: All Hallows Eve. Moon VOC, then entering Taurus at 2:19pm Pacific. We are in the realm of Halloween and the orb of the Full Moon. Any activity that awakens the five senses is highlighted. It’s a sensual full moon near Black Moon Lilith, so equality and respect are demanded. Very passionate night.

Saturday, October 31st: Halloween. Full (Blue) Moon at 8 Taurus at 7:49am Pacific. Love, beauty, passion, commitment, nature, animals, and the Divine Feminine are the energies to focus on this weekend. Try and avoid power struggles, control issues and obsession. Pushiness and bullying will get you nowhere. Listen to others, respect their wishes and look to the common good. Taurus wants us all to be healthy and secure, so trick or treating will be on hold this year.

Sunday, November 1st: Witches New Year. Sun in Scorpio/Moon in Taurus. The phoenix rises from the ashes. Day to take stock, rest, and decide where to focus your energies for the coming Winter.

Week of September 28th

Valentine Cameron Prinsep – At the First Touch of Winter, Summer Fades Away, 1897

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 6 Libra
Mercury at 1 Scorpio
Venus at 25 Leo
Mars RETROGRADE at 25 Aries (Rulership)
Jupiter DIRECT at 17 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn STATIONING at 25 Capricorn (rulership)
Neptune RETROGRADE at 19 Pisces (rulership, strong)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 22 Capricorn
North Node at 23 Gemini

Can you feel the weight of Saturn? It is the planet of reality, discipline, responsibility, karma, and time, and it is currently standing still in the skies over the East Coast of the United States. Saturn in Capricorn is stationing (standing still), and turned Direct on Monday (9/28). We will feel the weight of this all week. If you have any planets around 25 degrees in any cardinal sign, you will be STRONGLY effected by the energy of this event.

On top of that, Saturn (patriarchy) is in a tight square with an aggressive group of planets near 25 Aries – Eris (discord), Mars (courage and assertiveness) and Lilith (rebellion). Female empowerment is greatly enhanced from this configuration. This square will bring up issues around leadership and control, and could bring violence this week.

Far eastern beliefs and practices state that we are surrounded by impermanence; that the only thing that is truly ours is the beauty of the present moment. Everyone and everything we know will eventually turn into something else. This the way of the world and the archetype of the Fall season. Our planet, society and personal lives are in a state of huge transition, and the best we can do is approach our challenges with love. Appreciate the people around you and the blessings you have in your life.

Monday, September 28th: Moon in Pisces. Mercury also entered Scorpio yesterday, bringing great depth and honesty to communications. Our minds are refocused and our powers of concentration are heightened. Moon in Pisces trines Mercury today, allowing us to express abstract thoughts in a clear way. With Saturn stationing Direct tonight, practice mindfulness and discipline.

Tuesday, September 29th: Moon in Pisces, Saturn stations Direct in Capricorn. Any Earth sign folks should be feeling a new sense of security today, but any Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra) could get a reality check on their grand designs. With the Moon in Pisces, meditate and contemplate your life. Music and spirituality soothe the soul and ignite our imaginations. Great night to play or listen to music and make art.

Wednesday, September 30th: Moon VOC in Pisces. No big decisions or important conversations with authority. I would avoid that until next week if possible. Follow your intuition, go with the flow, and make time for solitude.

Thursday, October 1st: Full Moon in Aries. Watch for messages from the Universe about your identity, and your experience of evolutionary shifts. Each of us is changing and evolving into new, upgraded version. Each of us has a new way of being, and a new life. Focus your ambition and drive towards things you want to accomplish.

Friday, October 2nd: Moon In Aries, and Venus into Virgo. We are still feeling energetic, and good progress can be made now. Aries is the sign of individuality, so it’s all about YOU. Venus in Virgo is in it’s fall – which is one of the most difficult placements for the planet to express itself. Instead of art, put energy into organization.

Saturday, October 3rd: Moon in Taurus and Pluto in Capricorn stationing. Evolution, research, reformation and healing are the energies to focus on this weekend. Venus and Pluto are in tense placement this weekend, which can bring difficulties in relationships. Try and avoid power struggles, control issues and obsession. Pushiness and bullying will get you nowhere. Listen to others, respect their wishes and look to the common good.

Sunday, October 4th: Moon in Taurus and Pluto Stationing Direct in Capricorn. The phoenix rises from the ashes. Eris, the planet of discord is in the sign of Aries, the Individual. She is in a tense square to her brother Pluto, the planet of extremes, in the sign of Capricorn, which symbolizes control and the patriarchy. Be careful if you’re out there protesting.

Week of September 1st

Hasui Kawase, (1883-1957) Moon at Megome, 1930 (Woodblock print)

CURRENTLY:
Sun at 8 Virgo
Mercury at 18 Virgo
Venus at 22 Cancer (neutral)
Mars at 27 Aries (Rulership)
Jupiter RETROGRADE at 17 Capricorn (fall, very weak)
Saturn RETROGRADE at 26 Capricorn (rulership)
Neptune at 19 Pisces (rulership, strong)
Pluto RETROGRADE at 22 Capricorn
North Node at 25 Gemini

Full Moon in Pisces Tuesday evening, which is normally a spiritual and peaceful event, however, issues around leadership, control and violence will be evident this week. Eris, the planet of Discord is in the sign of Aries, the Individual. She is in a tense square to her brother Pluto, the planet of extremes, in the sign of Capricorn, which symbolizes control and the patriarchy. I would avoid honestly avoid protests this week and the foreseeable future.

Monday, August 31st: Moon in Aquarius. Believe in your genius and gifts. No one else in the world can express your unique energy, so it’s up to you. People are friendly, and progress can be made in communications. With an Aquarius Moon, video chat with your friends or community. If you encounter stubbornness, practice mindfulness.

Tuesday, September 1st: Full (HARVEST) Moon in Pisces at 10:22pm. Meditate and contemplate. Music and spirituality soothe the soul and ignite our imaginations. Great night to play or listen to music, or do your art!

Wednesday, September 2nd: Full Moon in Pisces continues. Follow your intuition, go with the flow, and make time for solitude. Also, Venus opposition to Saturn is exact in the morning. Venus (women, art creativity) comes up against the reality and discipline needed to be productive. Women might come up against resistance in the work place. You are being asked to be patient, but to also completely own who you are and who you’re growing in to! Venus going through oppositions with Saturn and Pluto this week illuminates the areas where you are evolving and setting boundaries. Watch for messages from the Universe!

Thursday, September 3rd: Moon in Aries. Use what you’ve learned from the Full Moon this week to start something new today! Focus your ambition and drive towards things you want to accomplish. Aries is the sign of individuality, so it’s all about YOU. Try and get yourself grounded before undertaking anything. Lots of energy for adventures, creativity, and new projects.

Friday, September 4th: Moon In Aries. We are still feeling energetic and good progress can be made in the morning. Venus square Mars today brings sexy tension to relationships! With Mars in Aries and Venus in Cancer, be sensitive to the other person’s feelings, and make sure there is good understanding between you before taking any action.

Saturday, September 5th: Moon in Aries and Mercury into Libra! Our mental focus changes from analysis and nervousness to balance and creativity. You will receive lots of wonderful artistic and creative ideas. Communications in relationships will get a positive boost. Focus on being balanced and fair in your dealings with others.

Sunday, September 6th: Moon in Taurus. The coziness of home. Nice evening to cook and be around loved ones. Venus enters Leo today too! All of us will feel the urge to shine, express our individuality and be more outgoing. Love and art become fiery and passionate, and women step into leadership. Make use of this month, Venus will be in Leo until October 2nd. For artists, let yourself loose to experiment and show whatever you discovered while Venus was in Cancer.

If You’re Unhappy With Your Life, It’s Your Responsibility To Change It

magick (2)

By Dian Tinio
Updated June 16, 2019

“Oftentimes, we settle for what we think is right, acceptable and safe. We are so dominated by the idea of staying because it feels scary to move. Because it feels frightening to face a whole new environment without the people, the things, or the places we’ve been so used to.
We are so terrified by the idea of moving on, because we feel like we just can’t move on and leave things behind. We sacrifice our own being, our own happiness. We choose to compromise all these because we choose to stay, when we should really be moving on, moving forward.

If you’re unhappy, MOVE. Because if you’re meant to stay in one place, you should have roots, instead of feet.

If you’re unhappy with your job, quit. If you feel like, you’re no longer growing, no longer learning, if you’re no longer productive, if you’re only clocking in and out every single day – then move. If you’re constantly stressing over the fact that it drains you mentally, physically and emotionally, then move. If you’re thinking of just sticking with that job that never fails to suck your joy because it pays the bills and you might be “promoted” there and can call yourself “successful” and “happier” – NO. Your happiness does not depend on your success. Your success actually depends on your happiness. If you think there are new opportunities, new places, new things you can explore and will contribute to your soul and to your individual growth, then go there. If it’s worth your time thinking, then it’s worth trying. No one’s too old to try. Whether it ends good or bad, it’s still an experience. Let’s not forget that every experience teaches us a valuable lesson that we might never learn if we choose otherwise.

If you’re unhappy with the people you surround yourself with, leave. If you feel like they no longer influence you positively and you no longer prosper with them then leave. By leaving, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cutting them off of your life or you’re forgetting them forever, it just simply means that you are finally moving forward. The time you had with them was spectacular. There were learnings and encouragements but when they are no longer a vessel of such and all they do is drag you into settling for mediocrity, then maybe it’s time to say your “thank you” and “see you again”. You are just recognizing that you need to go on with your life, perhaps without them.

If you’re unhappy with your love life, end it. They aren’t the last people on earth. Romantic relationships are more than forehead kisses, dinner dates, tight hugs and sweet letters – romantic relationships just like any other vital connection you have, is supposed to mature with you. Romantic relationships are supposed to let you flourish and develop in every aspect of who you are. It is supposed to hearten you every morning and not weigh you down with doubts and resentments. If your partner becomes a constant instrument of heartache and toxicity, then cut them off. You are not obliged to burden yourself with such. They are supposed to be one of the top people who will propel you to be at your best, to motivate you and allow you to discover the extent of your grandeur. Remember that, always. Who knows, maybe in the near future you’ll meet someone who’ll contribute to your soul even more.

If you’re unhappy with your city, move. Don’t get stranded with comfort zones and safety nets. Familiarity is good but too much familiarity is not that good. A little risk and uncertainty can go a long long way. If you’re only staying because you feel it’s secured and because you’re already living there for a long while now that it is “home” or that it is “convenient” – well, you might want to re-think your decisions. Being comfortable can be a whole lot scarier than taking risks. You stopped conquering magnificent things when you start getting comfortable. Remember, great things come outside of our comfort zone. So pack your things, leave your city and move to another one if you must. Go out on this adventure to nowhere. Start anew. Search for a place you might like to visit, a place you might like to stay. Now is the time. Home is where your happiness is, not where it’s guarded.

If you’re unhappy with your life path, take any turn possible. Whether it is your college course or your career path, or your business direction – whatever path it is that you’re taking right now, if it reeks strong discontentment, then it’s the perfect time to take a pause and redirect yourself. If you’re taking a course you don’t like, shift. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to waste years, effort and money on something you never even love in the first place. It will only teach you to settle. At the end of the day, if it doesn’t embolden you, you’ll still feel devoid, exhausted. So it doesn’t really matter if you’re graduating next year, you better decide before you find yourself trapped in an office chair with loads of shitty work you don’t even understand and doesn’t enrich your passion. If you’re investing years of your precious time and expertise in a career path you’re not even appeased with, shift. If you don’t see yourself on the same path in the years to come, what’s the point? There is no right time to shift and leave, you do it when you feel like it. You do it when you’re unhappy. You do it now. Take on a new path, embrace diversity and development. Whatever path it is you’re in right now, if you’re unhappy, take a turn. Whether it is left or right, as long as you’re happy, you will not lose yourself.

If you’re unhappy with how you see life, move your sight. See life from a different view, a different perspective. Re-acquaint yourself with life. Worrying or over-thinking things don’t change how life is. Like they say, don’t stress over the things you can’t change. The only thing you can do is fix your eyes on a different light, see life in all its splendor. Stop viewing it for all its troubles. Life is beautiful.
If you’re unhappy where you are right now, move. It’s as simple as that, I don’t know why we make everything so complicated. Why we spend so much of our time and energy scrutinizing everything, when the only thing we should really be thinking about is our own happiness.

Thus, instead of dreading and over-examining every decision you need to make in your life, trust your guts. Sometimes, taking risks and clinging to perplexity is a good thing. You don’t always have to weigh the pros and cons of things, sometimes there is only one thing that really, truly matters and that is; your happiness, your passion for this life and your hunger for a contented heart. You don’t have to be sure of where you’re going or what the next step is; sometimes all you have to do is take the first step and that is to MOVE.”

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women

father-and-daughter-silhouette-494x329

“People who lose their parents early in life are like fellow war veterans. As soon as they discover that they are talking to someone else who has lost a parent, they know they are speaking the same language without uttering a word.” – Pamela Thomas

“Fatherless Daughter Syndrome” (colloquially known as “daddy issues”) is an emotional disorder that stems from issues with trust and lack of self esteem that leads to a cycle of repeated dysfunctional decisions in relationships with men. It can last a woman’s entire lifetime if the symptoms go unacknowledged and ignored.”

“Growing Up Without a Dad Shapes Who You Are” by McKenna Meyers

“It took six decades, but I can finally utter a huge truth that caused me tremendous shame and sadness: My father didn’t love me. I never spoke that deep, dark secret, but it was always festering inside of me. It manifested itself in many ways throughout my life as I struggled with a food obsession, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and depression.
Whether a dad was present but rejecting like mine or walked away from his fatherly duties entirely, his absence leaves an indelible mark on a daughter’s psyche as she grows into adulthood.

Below, you’ll find six ways a daughter may be affected by an uninvolved dad.

1. Fatherless Daughters Have Self-Esteem Issues

According to Deborah Moskovitch, an author and divorce consultant, kids often blame themselves when dad leaves the home and becomes less involved in their lives. When they aren’t given an explanation about why dad left, they make up their own scenario and jump to the conclusion that it’s their fault and that they’re unlovable.
This is especially true for daughters. Countless studies have shown that fatherlessness has an extremely negative impact on daughters’ self esteem. Her confidence in her own abilities and value as a human being can be greatly diminished if her father isn’t there. Academically, personally, professionally, physically, socially, and romantically, a woman’s self esteem is diminished in every setting if she did not form a healthy relationship with her father

2. Daughters With Absent Fathers Struggle to Build and Maintain Relationships

According to Pamela Thomas, author of Fatherless Daughters (a book that examines how women cope with the loss of a father via death or divorce), women who grew up with absent dads find it difficult to form lasting relationships. Because they were scarred by their dad’s rejection of them, they don’t want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people. They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others. They may become promiscuous as a way of getting male attention without becoming too emotionally involved.
Ever since childhood, I’ve built walls around myself. I didn’t open up to people. I didn’t ask questions about their families, jobs, or hobbies. I kept my life private, and I remained socially isolated. These were all self-protective measures so I wouldn’t experience rejection like I did with my dad. Knowing this intellectually did nothing to help me change my behavior because my fear of rejection was more powerful than my desire to make connections.

3. Women With Absent Fathers Are More Likely to Have Eating Disorders

In their book The Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders, the authors Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto write eloquently about the fact that girls with physically or emotionally absent fathers are at greater risk of developing eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, binge-eating, body dysmorphia, unhealthy preoccupations with food or body weight, and other eating disorders are all more likely if a girl does not have a father figure as she’s growing up. Daughters without dads are also twice as likely to be obese. Because her longing to have a close relationship with her dad is denied, she may develop what Margo Maine (author of Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, & Food) calls “father hunger,” a deep emptiness and a profound insecurity. Daughters are left wondering: What’s so wrong with me that my own father doesn’t love me? If I looked different—if I was thin—would I earn daddy’s love?
I’ve struggled with “father hunger” throughout my life—stuffing my face to fill the void, dieting to get model-thin, and always obsessing about food. My days have been filled with thoughts of eating—either doing it or struggling mightily not to. When I accepted that my dad didn’t love me and that he was an unhappy man with deep-rooted problems, I finally started eating normally and began maintaining a healthy weight. I began treating myself in a loving way by exercising, gardening, reading, walking in the woods, and spending time with family. For the first time in my life, I only thought about food when I was truly hungry. This freed me to enjoy my life in so many wonderful ways.

4. Daughters of Absent Fathers Are More Prone to Depression

Not surprisingly, girls who grew up with dads who were emotionally or physically absent are more likely to struggle with depression as adults. Because they fear abandonment and rejection, these women often isolate themselves emotionally. They avoid healthy romantic relationships because they don’t feel deserving and fear getting hurt, but they might jump into unhealthy relationships that ultimately lead to heartbreak. In either scenario, the women are in emotional peril and frequently become depressed. If they don’t deal with the cause of their sadness—an absent dad—they may never be able to develop healthy relationships with men.
To top it all off, data suggests that children without fathers are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
According to Denna Babul and Karin Louise, authors of The Fatherless Daughter Project, it’s helpful to simply realize that we’re not alone. In fact, one in three women see themselves as fatherless and struggle with feelings of abandonment. Knowing this fact helps us see that there’s a whole sisterhood out there who share a common pain and a need to connect. When we open up and share our journey, we help both ourselves and each other. Whether we feel the loss of a dad through death, divorce, drug addiction, estrangement, or emotional neglect, we must grieve in order to move forward. Read Five Steps to Heal Her Pain: How a Fatherless Daughter Can Move On From Her Dad’s Rejection for ideas on how to avoid falling into depression. A gifted therapist can be key to helping us do just that and becoming happier people.

5. Dadless Daughters Are More Likely to Become Sexually Active Earlier

Studies have shown the many benefits that come from a strong father-daughter bond. Most notably, girls who are close to their dads are less likely to get pregnant as teens. They delay engaging in sexual relationships, wait longer to get married and have children, and when they do find a husband, their marriages are more emotionally satisfying, stable, and long-lasting.
Countless studies also show that women who have unstable or absent paternal relationships are more likely to start having sex earlier and engage risky sexual behaviors. Daughters are four times more likely to get pregnant as a teen if dad isn’t in the picture. Studies show that more than 70% of unplanned teenage pregnancies occur in homes where there is no father.

6. Abandoned Daughters Are Susceptible to Addiction

As with depression, eating disorders, and low self esteem, the absence of a father can trap a daughter in a negative repetitive pattern she can’t easily break out of and turn to drugs to self-medicate and help numb the pain. She is more likely to find herself trapped in a cycle of substance abuse, for example. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Not only are kids in father-absent households about four times more likely to be poor (which can trigger many negative cycles), fatherless adolescents were found to be 69% more likely to use drugs and 76% more likely to commit crimes.

Can a Daughter Survive Without a Father?

Try as I might, I was never been able to get any traction, always making a mess of this or that and never able to form long-lasting friendships. I rejected happiness because I never felt worthy of it. I did so much to sabotage my life and make myself miserable.
Then last year my older sister revealed to me that she, too, had felt unloved by him. I immediately felt enormous relief and then great euphoria. I realized it had never been about me—that I was bad, ugly, stupid and undeserving. It had always been about him—his unhappy childhood, his cold mother, his negative nature, and his dissatisfaction with being a husband and father. It had never been about me…never.
I could finally shout: “You were a piece of crap and now I’m done with you! I’m not your prisoner any more!”
According to Caitlin Marvaso, AMFT, a grief counselor and therapist, to recover from a father’s abandonment, a woman “must learn how to father herself, hold herself, and receive the type of love a father provides. It is a lifelong process, but with the proper support, tools, and patience, it is totally possible. That being said, the grief and pain never goes away, it just changes.”
A daughter whose father abandoned her can grow, thrive, learn, excel, succeed, love and be loved, and live a wonderful life when she realizes that the problem isn’t her, it’s him. This is the first step toward healing.

What Is Fatherless Daughter Syndrome?

“Fatherless Daughter Syndrome” (colloquially known as “daddy issues”) is an emotional disorder that stems from issues with trust and lack of self esteem that leads to a cycle of repeated dysfunctional decisions in relationships with men. It can last a woman’s entire lifetime if the symptoms go unacknowledged and ignored.
Does the Reason Affect the Result of Fatherlessness?
Half of the daughters in the US self-identify as having no father in their lives, but the reasons for that fatherlessness vary. Approximately 28% lost their connection to their dads via divorce or separation, while 26% cite emotional absence as the reason for the estrangement. 19% lost their fathers to death, 13% to abandonment, 13% to addiction, 12% to abuse, and 4% to incarceration. 6% say they never met their father.
Certainly, a daughter whose loving dad passed away when she was 15 will be affected differently than a daughter whose father abandoned her when she was born. Unfortunately, many studies do not account for the reasons for fatherlessness.
The effects of fatherlessness can be mitigated by many factors. Daughters who were brought up in households with two moms, a loving and very-involved step parent, or participating grandparents or other extended family members will probably not experience the same lasting wounds and negative impact of a father’s abandonment.

What Are the Emotional Effects of Being Abandoned by a Father?

Compared to those with healthy paternal relationships, fatherless women report…
feeling less happiness and lower levels of well-being,
higher levels of frustration, anger, and anger-related depression,
difficulty navigating the emotions of intimate relationships, and
overwhelming fears of abandonment.

What Are the Psychological Effects of an Absent Father?

To summarize, depression, suicide, eating disorders, obesity (and its effects), early sexual activity, addiction-formation, and difficulty building and holding on to loving relationships are all side-effects of an absent father.

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

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I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here

 

Venus Retrograde

chei

“The Guardian”, by Chie Yoshii.

Venus Retrograde:
October 5th at 12:04pm Pacific. 10° Scorpio. Venus has a regular cycle, and always retrogrades  for 40 days.

Women in general will be effected; becoming more empowered and less tolerant of unauthentic behavior. Scorpio symbolizes the dark goddess, who appears in the Fall to face her fears. She seeks integrity and confronts injustice. This is SO visible in the US right now, with the wave of women coming forward and speaking up with their personal stories of sexual abuse.

Scorpio wants the TRUTH, and has no fear of speaking it. Scorpio is also the sign of passion, commitment, transformation, sex and death. Where Scorpio appears in our charts is where we go deep… where our passion lives.

Venus, as a planet, goddess and ideal, is much much lighter than this, so she is uncomfortable in Scorpio. She wants harmony, tea parties and courtly love. In Scorpio she travels to the underground of our personal psychologies. She has no choice but to face her fears, and embrace the reality that her love is based on. Expect fantasies to vanish, and to know the truth. If a relationship isn’t resting on a solid foundation, it might not survive the retrograde. If you are in denial or in a power struggle with your partner, it will become obvious during this time. Since Scorpio is ruled by Mars (a male sign), you will have new courage to speak your truth. The possibility for deep understanding and healing is also present.

Venus retrograde also brings old flames back into our lives. Scorpio is the sign of the dead, and the ghosts of our pasts can resurrect themselves. We might need to redo creative projects in the areas of romance, art, beauty, and music. This isn’t the time to start any new relationships, and it’s good to watch out for obsession. In Scorpio, Venus craves intimacy, but only in situations based on trust.

Venus will go direct (forward) on November 15th at 25° Libra.

from Austin Coppock:

“In addition Venus will oppose Uranus three times. Not only is the opposition a stronger aspect than the square, but Uranus is currently in a Venus-ruled sign (Taurus), and thus is much more responsive to her movements and condition.
Uranus-Venus combinations disrupt relationship structures and social relations. The two provide exactly the right spark to catalyze break ups and divorces. Even for those unions which are stronger, Uranus’ disruptive, innovative, rebellious power pushes relational rearrangements. Break ups and renegotiations are something we would expect from any Venus retrograde, but Uranus doubles down on these significations.
On the positive side, Venus and Uranus fuel artistic innovation and aesthetic experimentation, facilitate greater freedom of feeling and emotional expression. Venus will also help push through the disruptions and innovations which Uranus has planned in Taurus.”

Fall Equinox horoscopes

panthers

Fall Equinox at 6:54pm 9/22, Sun into Libra.
Venus retrograde October 5th.  Focus is on relationships this Fall.
Libra: Love, Beauty, Harmony, Socializing, Parties, Negotiation, Friendship, Teamwork.

This is a big moment. The Autumnal Equinox marks the midpoint between Summer and Winter. Today we have equal day and equal night. Libra is about balance, harmony, justice, and partnerships of ALL kinds. If something feels out of balance in your life right now, you’re going to really feel it – and hopefully do something about it.

Today is referred to as the festival of Mabon. This is the second harvest festival of the year, the first being Lammas (August 1st) and the third being Halloween (October 31st). Whatever was started in March this year is now coming to fruition. It’s harvest season, where we see the result of our labors. We reap what we have sown. It’s the time to take stock of where you are in your life right now – what you’ve brought forth and what you still want to manifest. Have you been keeping your promises this year? Especially ones made to yourself?

Today we feel the turn of the wheel of the year. Standing in the middle of equal daylight to equal nighttime, we look at BALANCE. Are we out of balance in our lives? Are we taking care of ourselves? Are we working hard AND making time for our dreams and having fun too?

Mabon also relates to mid life; to our 40’s and 50’s when we have accomplished some things, but also might harbor regrets. The Equinox is a time to give yourself credit for all the wonderful things you’ve created and the positive difference you’ve made in the world. Honor your courage! And how much smarter you are now than when you were young.

This holiday was pivotal in ancient times, since a good final harvest was crucial to surviving the winter months ahead. Relationships are reassessed so we can decide who is best to take into the harsh winter with us. If someone is draining your energy, now might be the time to let go.

The horoscopes below take the Sun into account, but focus on your Rising sign. The Rising Sign, or Ascendant (AC) is the most accurate reflection of your chart when reading most horoscopes. You can calculate your Rising sign here.

Aries: The Ram
Partnerships of all kinds will be significant in your life over the next month. The Sun is in your House of Partnerships, bringing a new shift in relationships, faith, healing, expansion and balance. Your ruler, Mars, is newly Direct. After a summer of delays you can now move forward with confidence. Watch the Full Moon rise on Monday, it will be in Aries.

Taurus: The Bull
Your ruler, Venus, is in Scorpio, the sign of relationships and your polarity. Tomorrow begins a foreshadowing of the lessons this season will have for you. They aren’t bad or good, just themes for you to work on. You’ve had some tests with Work, Health and Habits over the last year, but with the entrance of the Sun into this area, you should be able to gain some new traction in daily life matters.

Gemini: The Twins
The Sun is in Libra, putting focus on your Romantic and Creative Life. You can also attract romance! Be sure and get out and socialize a lot. Good luck comes in the form of creative partnerships. Your ruler, Mercury, went Direct recently, so you are in forward motion again.

Cancer: The Crab
Cancerians love their home environments, so you will be thrilled to know that the skies are sending you ample opportunities for home improvement and social gatherings.
Autumn also supports you healing your ties with your family of origin, and increasing your self knowledge and faith. It’s a time of digging into your roots and healing your soul.

Leo: The Lion
The Sun is shining in your House of Learning and Communication this month. You will love this because your self expression will get a huge boost. You will set the pace with regards to speaking, creativity and visibility in your community. Meanwhile Saturn brings maturity and discipline to your art, and helps you manifest your ideas.

Virgo: The Virgin
Your ruler, Mercury, is giving you a last birthday present by turning Direct in your sign earlier this month. New, positive, forward motion has begun. Meanwhile the Sun is in Libra, and the focus shifts to your financial world. For the next couple of months ask yourself, what do you value most? And what is the truth about what you value?

Libra: The Scales
It’s birthday season! The Sun has entered Libra and the spotlight is on YOU! It’s the rebirth of your identity for the next solar year. Who are you now? It’s time to set goals for where you’d like to be this time next year. Your ruler, Venus, is in Scorpio giving some intensity to your relationships.

Scorpio: The Scorpion
All the action is in your 12th House of spiritual connection, solitude, artistry, universal connection and the soul. It’s the place you retreat to for healing, safety and security. The inner planets will be visiting you there over the next month to assist you in clearing cobwebs and brightening up the place. Your ruler, Mars, is traveling with Saturn through Aquarius and Capricorn, bringing focus to your career and social circle.

Sagittarius: The Archer
Making new friends and lots of money? Your ruler Jupiter (good fortune) is hosting a party in your 11th House of Gains, Wishes, and Friends right now. Jupiter expands your social circle and helps money flow in, and Saturn and Pluto in your 2nd House ensure you won’t spend it all on frivolous things.

Capricorn: The Goat
Saturn, your ruler, is moving through Capricorn and restructuring how you experience the world. There’s a new maturity in how you see things, and a new discipline in your actions. What’s the reality of your ambitions, and are you including your spiritual life in your plans? Do they still suit you and do you need a change? Saturn isn’t big on changes, but DOES support your climb up the steep mountain to reach your goal. Think about what that goal is and shift it if necessary. Remember you have Pluto in your sign right now, and that’s a VERY powerful ally. He brings up toxic energy to be purged and healed.

Aquarius: The Water Bearer
The Sun is traversing your House of Life Perspective right now. The harvest season is a time of education, training and travel. The transit of Jupiter in Libra expands your mind, faith, self knowledge and personal philosophy. Your ruler, Uranus, is in Taurus which makes you slow down and get grounded.  Patient, methodical approaches bring confidence, optimism and ambition to your humanitarian goals.

Pisces: The Fishes
All the action is in your 8th house this Fall! This area of your chart represents Other People’s Money – i.e. banks, loans, real estate, rentals and credit. Don’t overspend. Kinda boring stuff for artistic Pisces, but with the Sun and Jupiter there it’s a great time to negotiate with authority and solidify your relationships. You can attract helpful people to your life right now. This house also relates to SEX, so it could be a hot and steamy year for you!

 

Intimacy

love-couple
“We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person’s character defects, and then make it so big it’s all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don’t want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren’t available for intimacy – people with active addictions, or people who don’t choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We’re afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We’re afraid that closeness means we won’t be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

In recovery, we’re learning that it’s okay to let ourselves be close to people. We’re choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, “We’re learning that we can own our power with people, even when we’re close, even when the other person has something we need.”

Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that’s appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.”

– The Language of Letting Go