Tag Archives: lovelife

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

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I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here

 

Venus Retrograde

chei

“The Guardian”, by Chie Yoshii.

Venus Retrograde:
October 5th at 12:04pm Pacific. 10° Scorpio. Venus has a regular cycle, and always retrogrades  for 40 days.

Women in general will be effected; becoming more empowered and less tolerant of unauthentic behavior. Scorpio symbolizes the dark goddess, who appears in the Fall to face her fears. She seeks integrity and confronts injustice. This is SO visible in the US right now, with the wave of women coming forward and speaking up with their personal stories of sexual abuse.

Scorpio wants the TRUTH, and has no fear of speaking it. Scorpio is also the sign of passion, commitment, transformation, sex and death. Where Scorpio appears in our charts is where we go deep… where our passion lives.

Venus, as a planet, goddess and ideal, is much much lighter than this, so she is uncomfortable in Scorpio. She wants harmony, tea parties and courtly love. In Scorpio she travels to the underground of our personal psychologies. She has no choice but to face her fears, and embrace the reality that her love is based on. Expect fantasies to vanish, and to know the truth. If a relationship isn’t resting on a solid foundation, it might not survive the retrograde. If you are in denial or in a power struggle with your partner, it will become obvious during this time. Since Scorpio is ruled by Mars (a male sign), you will have new courage to speak your truth. The possibility for deep understanding and healing is also present.

Venus retrograde also brings old flames back into our lives. Scorpio is the sign of the dead, and the ghosts of our pasts can resurrect themselves. We might need to redo creative projects in the areas of romance, art, beauty, and music. This isn’t the time to start any new relationships, and it’s good to watch out for obsession. In Scorpio, Venus craves intimacy, but only in situations based on trust.

Venus will go direct (forward) on November 15th at 25° Libra.

from Austin Coppock:

“In addition Venus will oppose Uranus three times. Not only is the opposition a stronger aspect than the square, but Uranus is currently in a Venus-ruled sign (Taurus), and thus is much more responsive to her movements and condition.
Uranus-Venus combinations disrupt relationship structures and social relations. The two provide exactly the right spark to catalyze break ups and divorces. Even for those unions which are stronger, Uranus’ disruptive, innovative, rebellious power pushes relational rearrangements. Break ups and renegotiations are something we would expect from any Venus retrograde, but Uranus doubles down on these significations.
On the positive side, Venus and Uranus fuel artistic innovation and aesthetic experimentation, facilitate greater freedom of feeling and emotional expression. Venus will also help push through the disruptions and innovations which Uranus has planned in Taurus.”

Fall Equinox horoscopes

panthers

Fall Equinox at 6:54pm 9/22, Sun into Libra.
Venus retrograde October 5th.  Focus is on relationships this Fall.
Libra: Love, Beauty, Harmony, Socializing, Parties, Negotiation, Friendship, Teamwork.

This is a big moment. The Autumnal Equinox marks the midpoint between Summer and Winter. Today we have equal day and equal night. Libra is about balance, harmony, justice, and partnerships of ALL kinds. If something feels out of balance in your life right now, you’re going to really feel it – and hopefully do something about it.

Today is referred to as the festival of Mabon. This is the second harvest festival of the year, the first being Lammas (August 1st) and the third being Halloween (October 31st). Whatever was started in March this year is now coming to fruition. It’s harvest season, where we see the result of our labors. We reap what we have sown. It’s the time to take stock of where you are in your life right now – what you’ve brought forth and what you still want to manifest. Have you been keeping your promises this year? Especially ones made to yourself?

Today we feel the turn of the wheel of the year. Standing in the middle of equal daylight to equal nighttime, we look at BALANCE. Are we out of balance in our lives? Are we taking care of ourselves? Are we working hard AND making time for our dreams and having fun too?

Mabon also relates to mid life; to our 40’s and 50’s when we have accomplished some things, but also might harbor regrets. The Equinox is a time to give yourself credit for all the wonderful things you’ve created and the positive difference you’ve made in the world. Honor your courage! And how much smarter you are now than when you were young.

This holiday was pivotal in ancient times, since a good final harvest was crucial to surviving the winter months ahead. Relationships are reassessed so we can decide who is best to take into the harsh winter with us. If someone is draining your energy, now might be the time to let go.

The horoscopes below take the Sun into account, but focus on your Rising sign. The Rising Sign, or Ascendant (AC) is the most accurate reflection of your chart when reading most horoscopes. You can calculate your Rising sign here.

Aries: The Ram
Partnerships of all kinds will be significant in your life over the next month. The Sun is in your House of Partnerships, bringing a new shift in relationships, faith, healing, expansion and balance. Your ruler, Mars, is newly Direct. After a summer of delays you can now move forward with confidence. Watch the Full Moon rise on Monday, it will be in Aries.

Taurus: The Bull
Your ruler, Venus, is in Scorpio, the sign of relationships and your polarity. Tomorrow begins a foreshadowing of the lessons this season will have for you. They aren’t bad or good, just themes for you to work on. You’ve had some tests with Work, Health and Habits over the last year, but with the entrance of the Sun into this area, you should be able to gain some new traction in daily life matters.

Gemini: The Twins
The Sun is in Libra, putting focus on your Romantic and Creative Life. You can also attract romance! Be sure and get out and socialize a lot. Good luck comes in the form of creative partnerships. Your ruler, Mercury, went Direct recently, so you are in forward motion again.

Cancer: The Crab
Cancerians love their home environments, so you will be thrilled to know that the skies are sending you ample opportunities for home improvement and social gatherings.
Autumn also supports you healing your ties with your family of origin, and increasing your self knowledge and faith. It’s a time of digging into your roots and healing your soul.

Leo: The Lion
The Sun is shining in your House of Learning and Communication this month. You will love this because your self expression will get a huge boost. You will set the pace with regards to speaking, creativity and visibility in your community. Meanwhile Saturn brings maturity and discipline to your art, and helps you manifest your ideas.

Virgo: The Virgin
Your ruler, Mercury, is giving you a last birthday present by turning Direct in your sign earlier this month. New, positive, forward motion has begun. Meanwhile the Sun is in Libra, and the focus shifts to your financial world. For the next couple of months ask yourself, what do you value most? And what is the truth about what you value?

Libra: The Scales
It’s birthday season! The Sun has entered Libra and the spotlight is on YOU! It’s the rebirth of your identity for the next solar year. Who are you now? It’s time to set goals for where you’d like to be this time next year. Your ruler, Venus, is in Scorpio giving some intensity to your relationships.

Scorpio: The Scorpion
All the action is in your 12th House of spiritual connection, solitude, artistry, universal connection and the soul. It’s the place you retreat to for healing, safety and security. The inner planets will be visiting you there over the next month to assist you in clearing cobwebs and brightening up the place. Your ruler, Mars, is traveling with Saturn through Aquarius and Capricorn, bringing focus to your career and social circle.

Sagittarius: The Archer
Making new friends and lots of money? Your ruler Jupiter (good fortune) is hosting a party in your 11th House of Gains, Wishes, and Friends right now. Jupiter expands your social circle and helps money flow in, and Saturn and Pluto in your 2nd House ensure you won’t spend it all on frivolous things.

Capricorn: The Goat
Saturn, your ruler, is moving through Capricorn and restructuring how you experience the world. There’s a new maturity in how you see things, and a new discipline in your actions. What’s the reality of your ambitions, and are you including your spiritual life in your plans? Do they still suit you and do you need a change? Saturn isn’t big on changes, but DOES support your climb up the steep mountain to reach your goal. Think about what that goal is and shift it if necessary. Remember you have Pluto in your sign right now, and that’s a VERY powerful ally. He brings up toxic energy to be purged and healed.

Aquarius: The Water Bearer
The Sun is traversing your House of Life Perspective right now. The harvest season is a time of education, training and travel. The transit of Jupiter in Libra expands your mind, faith, self knowledge and personal philosophy. Your ruler, Uranus, is in Taurus which makes you slow down and get grounded.  Patient, methodical approaches bring confidence, optimism and ambition to your humanitarian goals.

Pisces: The Fishes
All the action is in your 8th house this Fall! This area of your chart represents Other People’s Money – i.e. banks, loans, real estate, rentals and credit. Don’t overspend. Kinda boring stuff for artistic Pisces, but with the Sun and Jupiter there it’s a great time to negotiate with authority and solidify your relationships. You can attract helpful people to your life right now. This house also relates to SEX, so it could be a hot and steamy year for you!

 

Intimacy

love-couple
“We can let ourselves be close to people.

Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closeness and intimacy.

When we start to feel close to someone, we may zero in on one of the person’s character defects, and then make it so big it’s all we can see. We may withdraw, or push the person away to create distance. We may start criticizing the other person, a behavior sure to create distance.

We may start trying to control the person, a behavior that prevents intimacy.

We may tell ourselves we don’t want or need another person, or smother the person with our needs.

Sometimes, we defeat ourselves by trying to be close to people who aren’t available for intimacy – people with active addictions, or people who don’t choose to be close to us. Sometimes, we choose people with particular faults so that when it comes time to be close, we have an escape hatch.

We’re afraid, and we fear losing ourselves. We’re afraid that closeness means we won’t be able to own our power to take care of ourselves.

In recovery, we’re learning that it’s okay to let ourselves be close to people. We’re choosing to relate to safe, healthy people, so closeness is a possibility. Closeness doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves, or our life. As one man said, “We’re learning that we can own our power with people, even when we’re close, even when the other person has something we need.”

Today, I will be available for closeness and intimacy with people, when that’s appropriate. Whenever possible, I will let myself be who I am, let others be who they are, and enjoy the bond and good feelings between us.”

– The Language of Letting Go

Mountain of Truth

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Monte Verita, Ascona Switzerland

I came across the most amazing piece of history the other day: the free spirits of the art community at Monte Verita in 1915. These people created an open society of artists and philosophers; people that wanted to explore the potential of the human spirit.

What strikes me are the huge similarities between this story and our current society in 2018. These people that escaped to the mountains of Switzerland were rebelling against mass consumerism, war, intolerance, and celebrity culture. They created the first alternative community, assimilating all groups of people under the banner of pacifism and free thought. Many accomplished philosophers and radicals joined them – including Hermann Hesse.

This movement is one of the catalysts for the original hippie movement in 1967. It’s not about obliterating your mind with drugs, or trying to escape reality, it’s about creating a free, human, utopian society on earth. Article below.

There’s a movie about it that came out in 2014 called “FREAK OUT!” if you’re interested in learning more about it!

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Article:  “Monte Verità: “The place where our minds can reach up to the heavens…
In the nineteenth century and at the beginning of the twentieth, the Ticino republic became a gateway to the south, and favourite destination of a group of unconventional loners who found in the region, with its southern atmosphere, fertile ground in which to sow the seeds of the utopia they were unable to cultivate in the north.
The Ticino came to represent the antithesis of the urbanised, industrialized north, a sanctuary for all kinds of idealist. From 1900 onwards Mount Monescia above Ascona, Switzerand, became a pole of attraction for those seeking an “alternative” life. These reformers who sought a third way between the capitalist and communist blocks, eventually found a home in the region of the north Italian lakes.

The founders came from all directions :
Henry Oedenkoven from Antwerp
the pianist Ida Hofmann from Montenegro
the artist Gusto
and the ex-officer Karl Gräser from Transylvania.

United by a common ideal they settled on the “Mount of Truth” as they renamed Monte Monescia. Draped in loose flowing garments and long hair, they worked in the gardens and fields, built spartan timber cabins and found relaxation in dancing and naked bathing, exposing their bodies to light, air, sun and water. Their diet excluded all animal foods and was based entirely on plants, vegetables and fruit. They worshipped nature, preaching its purity and interpreting it symbolically as the ultimate work of art: “Parsifal’s meadow”, “The rock of Valkyrie” and the “Harrassprung” were symbolic names which with time were adopted even by the local population of Ascona who had initially regarded the community with suspicion.
Their social organization was based on cooperation, and through it they strove to achieve the emancipation of women, self-criticism, and new ways of cultivating mind and spirit with the unity of body and soul.

The intensity of the single ideals fused in this community were such that word of it soon spread across the whole of Europe and overseas. Gradually over the years the community itself became a sanatorium frequented by theosophists, reformers, anarchists, communists, social democrats, psyco-analysts; followed by literary personalities, writers, poets, artists and finally emigrants of both world wars: Raphael Friedeberg, Prince Peter Kropotkin, Erich Mühsam. They declared Ascona “the Republic of the Homeless”: Otto Gross who planned a “School for the liberation of humanity”, August Bebel, Karl Kautsky, Otto Braun, even perhaps Lenin and Trotzki, Hermann Hesse, Franziska Gräfin zu Reventlow, Else Lasker-Schüler, D.H Lawrence, Rudolf von Laban, Mary Wigman, Isadora Duncan, Hugo Ball, Hans Arp, Hans Richter, Marianne von Werefkin, Alexej von Jawlensky, Arthur Segal, El Lissitzky and many others.
After the departure of the founder for Brazil in 1920 there followed a brief bohemian period at the Monte Verità which lasted until the complex was purchased as a residence by the Baron von der Heydt, banker to the ex-Kaiser Willhelm II and one of the most important collectors of contemporary and non European art. The bohemian life continued in the village and in the Locarnese valleys from then on.

The Mount, now used as a Hotel and park, still maintains its almost magic power of attraction. Along with the proven magnetic anomalies of geological formations underlying Ascona, it is as if the mount preserves, hidden away out of sight, the sum of all the successful and unsuccessful attempts to breach the gap between the “I” and “we”, and the striving towards an ideal creative society, thus making the Monte Verità a special scenic and climatic micro-paradise.

Monte-Verità

The Monte Verità is also however a well preserved testimony for the history of architecture. From Adam’s hut to the Bauhaus. The ideology of the first settlers demanded spartan chalet-like timber dwellings with plenty of light and air and few comforts. Shortly after 1900 the following buildings began to spring up: Casa Selma (now museum), […]1, Casa Andrea with its geometrical façade, the sunniest of the buildings (now converted), Casa Elena and the Casa del Tè – Tea House (now demolished) and the Casa dei Russi (hideout for Russian students after the 1905 revolution and now undergoing renovation). The Casa Centrale was built for the community and allowed for maximum natural light. Ying-Yang symbols were worked into windows and balconies. (In 1948 this building was demolished to make way for a restaurant and only the curving flight of steps remains).
Henry Oedenkoven built Casa Anatta as living quarters and reception rooms in the theosophist style with rounded corners everywhere, double timber walls, sliding doors, domed ceilings and huge windows with views of the landscape as supreme works of art, a large flat roof and sun-terrace.

Astro week of August 5th

@lefawnhawk

This week is the 4th quarter of the Moon, the “darkest” time of our current lunar month.  This week we rest and wrap things up; all in preparation for the rebirth of the New Moon in Leo this coming Saturday.  It will be another eclipse too.  If you go out at sunset each night this week, you will see the moon’s light diminish until she completely disappears into the fiery light of the Sun.  Don’t overschedule yourself or work too hard. Take some afternoon naps. Focus on finishing things – next week is the time to start new projects or habits.

Monday, August 6 – Moon in Gemini (Mercury still retrograde), Venus into Libra and Uranus stationing. Lots of energy, communication and ideas flying around today. Be slow and thorough, and handle one thing at a time. Don’t get caught up in other peoples’ instability. Venus in Libra is very happy! Do some art or hang with friends.

Tuesday, August 7 – Moon void of course in Gemini all day, and Uranus retrograde in Taurus. Stay home if you can or work in your garden. Today could be really crazy, with lots of unstable changes happening all around you. Careful while driving or on transport. Keep slowing yourself down and doing one thing at a time. Don’t act on impulse this week.

Wednesday, August 8 – Moon in Cancer. Spoil yourself. Go to a spa. Eat whatever you want. Uranus still stationing overhead, so avoid social conflicts. Connect with your inner voice, and hear what it’s telling you. Is life sending you in a new direction? Embrace it and go with the flow. Revelations abound. Don’t overspend.

Thursday, August 9 – Moon void of course in Cancer all day. Avoid important negotiations or conversations. Today is NOT the day for a house meeting. Keep a cool head and a discerning heart. FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIFE. Let your creativity wander.

Friday, August 10 – New Moon in Leo begins. A splendid day. Allow yourself all the pleasures available. Assume leadership if needed and tackle responsibilities. Let your light shine. Good night to see a performance.

Saturday, August 11 – New Moon eclipse in Leo at 2:58am. Be creative, hang out with family and children, and let your light shine some more.

 

Singles Awareness

When The Rain Comes In Silence by Burçin Esin

As a follow up to my post on relationships, here’s a great quote for single people:

“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot.

Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”

—Emery Allen #TodaysMantra