How to handle difficult relationships

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This can be a challenging time of year for everyone and their relationships. We can feel stress, old, unresolved anger and grief from our past. Uncomfortable feelings rise up from our families, old friends, past lovers, current lovers, business partnerships, roommates and coworkers.

These unprocessed emotions can’t be solved overnight, but if you’re dealing with someone who is sick, strung out, toxic or crazy, it’s best to detach with love. Just having this course of action might give us all some comfort and support.

Read this from “The Language of Letting Go”. It could give you a valuable course of action:

“Detaching in Relationships
When we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we don’t care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to force things to happen, we’re showing how much we care.
We may believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don’t work. Even when we’re right, controlling doesn’t work. In some cases, controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening.
As we practice the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a relationship behavior that works.
We learn something else too. Detachment – letting go of our need to control people – enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony.
Detachment means we care, about others and ourselves. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same.
It allows our Higher Power to step in and work.
Today, I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I’m loving others, but I’m loving myself too.”

Week of November 19th

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–  “Dance in the country” by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Nov. 15th: Mars in Pisces.
Nov. 16th: Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius, and Venus Direct in Libra.

Monday, Nov. 19th: Moon in Aries, Sun in Scorpio. There’s potential for headstrong behavior today. If it’s hard to gain traction on a project, focus instead on clarifying your vision. Moon/Sun are in Mars-ruled signs, but Mars itself is in Pisces. Mars doesn’t like slogging around in Pisces. Avoid being passive-aggressive when you don’t get your way. Notice if you’re lost in fantasies, guilt trips, gossiping or grudges, and try to be present with unconscious motivations. The desire to escape your life through drinking, drugs, sugar or shopping is a common theme this week.

Tuesday, Nov. 20th: Moon into Taurus at 3:43pm Pacific, Sun in Scorpio. Moon in Taurus (exalted) helps everybody calm down. Enjoy nature and sensual delights today, but avoid intensity in relationships.

Wednesday, Nov. 21st: Moon in Taurus, Sun in Scorpio. Another nature/food day! Excellent date night, or to do anything creative and artistic. Mars and Jupiter will both be amplifying the Full Moon in Gemini tomorrow, but you can feel it now.

Thursday, Nov. 22nd: Moon void all day in Taurus (8:10pm into Gemini).
FULL MOON at 9:39pm. Sun into Sagittarius. THANKSGIVING.
With the Full Moon today and Neptune stationing Direct Saturday, try not to drink too much. Watch a movie or play board games to cool down family tensions. Also, follow traditions today – don’t do anything risky or spontaneous.

Friday, Nov. 23rd: Full Moon in Gemini, Sun in Sagittarius. Should be a chatty and sociable day.

Saturday, Nov. 24th: Moon in Gemini; Neptune Direct in Pisces 5:08pm. When Neptune is stationing Direct, things are not what they appear to be. Try to keep your feet on the ground today. Huge spiritual breakthroughs and revelations are possible.

The thing to remember with Mercury Retrograde is to slow down a little bit. It’s never a good idea to lie or be covert in your actions, but it’s really something to avoid right now.  Don’t conceal anything.

Early/middle November is a powerful time. When the Sun is in Scorpio we are in the Underworld, the spirit world is close and the invisibles are active. The Scorpio Sun is sacred to the dark goddess Hecate, who stands at the crossroads with her torches, scissors and three black hounds; she helps you release your old life. She is the Goddess of Witchcraft, Night, Magick, Dogs and herbalism. She protects people on the fringes – those who rebel against societies norms and follow their own drum beat. She will help you see the truth, which can be jarring but liberating. She is known as Phosphorus, the Torch Bearer and Venus as the Morning Star. Inner seeing is key. Your inner navigation system is more accurate than what’s on the screen.

Week of November 5th

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Monday, Nov. 5th: Moon in Libra, Sun in Scorpio. We are in the dark of the Moon, preparing for the New Moon in Scorpio this Wednesday. Avoid confrontations, keep your focus on your work and personal life. With Venus retrograding near the Moon, it’s not a good day air grievances. Practice self care.

Tuesday, Nov. 6th:
Moon into Scorpio at 5:02am Pacific
Uranus into Aries at 11am
North Node into Cancer
Avoid social complications, drive slowly and keep a cool head. We are in the orb of the New Moon in Scorpio, and it’s a good time to set some intentions on the part of your life that needs deep healing or rebirth. What is your passion? Also, the North/South nodes (Head and Tail of the Dragon) shift into Cancer and Capricorn for the next two years.

Wednesday, Nov. 7th: New Moon in Scorpio at 8:02am Pacific. REBIRTH. The phoenix rises from the ashes. The corner of your chart where Scorpio resides is experiencing a regeneration today that will culminate in April 2019. Watch for signs.

Thursday, Nov. 8th:
Jupiter into Sagittarius at 4:38am
Moon into Sagittarius at 11:59am
The mood will lighten quite a bit today towards expansiveness and adventure. Excellent day to seek justice and fairness.

Friday, Nov. 9th: Moon in Sagittarius. A light and jovial end to an intense week. Good evening to go out, have fun and try something new.

Saturday, Nov. 10th: Moon in Sagittarius. The mood turns towards responsibilities today as the Moon heads towards Capricorn.

The Witch Continues to Enchant as a Feminist Symbol

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Gertrude Abercrombie’s “The Stroll” (1943). Credit Credit Oil on fiberboard, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Gertrude Abercrombie Trust

I was pleased to see this in the Times today. It makes sense that women are newly inspired by the figure of a witch, as they embrace their histories and stand up in power.

New York Times: “… A witch, after all, is a woman with power. She has the ability to heal, satisfying wellness types…  More than that, as the prophetic “weird sisters” of “Macbeth” make clear, she has the power to drive the plot. ”

By Kate Guadagnino
Oct. 31, 2018

“THIS WITCH,” BEGINS the recently released documentary on Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It’s a recording of the conservative talk-radio host Michael Savage, who often characterizes the justice this way. He’s hardly alone in his fondness for the word, which has only grown in popularity in the 300-plus years since the infamous Salem witch trials of 1692. These days, though, it’s often women — Lana Del Rey and Björk among them — deploying “witch” (or related terminology) to describe themselves, not as a pejorative but as a badge of honor. They may not all recite spells or worship a moon goddess, but at a time when misogyny is rampant and women’s rights are on shaky ground, they relate to the witch as a feminist symbol. A witch, after all, is a woman with power. She has the ability to heal, satisfying wellness types who like to gift potions of hyssop and mugwort, anise seed and bladder wrack from Enchantments, a decades-old occult-themed shop in Manhattan’s East Village. More than that, as the prophetic “weird sisters” of “Macbeth” make clear, she has the power to drive the plot.

Lately, witches have moved from the edges of the action to become the plot themselves. “Wil-o-Wisp,” a video work by the artist Rachel Rose, which debuted last May at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, is set in 16th-century agrarian England and concerns a fictional mystic named Elspeth Blake. On a night when there is a full blood-red moon, her family’s house catches fire and she disappears, only to turn up a few towns over 30 years later. Meanwhile, Kiernan Shipka is starring in “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina,” a new series about the teenage witch from Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, the creator of “Riverdale,” and Chloë Sevigny is at work on a short film she wrote about self-proclaimed witches in contemporary culture. Last month saw the release of “Suspiria,” Luca Guadagnino’s remake of the 1977 horror film, in which the matrons of a Martha Graham-style dance school are revealed to be members of a secret and violent coven. Set along the border between East and West Berlin, where echoes of wartime anxiety persist, the women have little need for men or society — an independence that attests to their strength as much as any feat of magic.

How, though, to perform the trick of growing fashionable but not diminished? Much has been said about the ongoing commercialization of feminism, but the symbol of the witch is perhaps not so easily corrupted, retaining both an earthiness and a hardness, one born of an instinct for self-preservation. Because whatever the nature of their abilities, women — often those already on the outside, such as the poor, the old and women of color — have a very real history of being accused of witchcraft and suffering greatly. “We are the granddaughters of the witches you weren’t able to burn,” read a sign at the 2017 Women’s March. A few months later, the president began to tweet “witch hunt” whenever he felt picked on by Robert Mueller. The moral outrage implicit in this cry depends on the fact that witches do not exist. Oh, comes the collective response from multitudes of women, persecuted yet powerful, but they do.”

Wearing Black

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My EP from 2005. This picture is from our photo shoot in the Castro in 2002. Chuck Butter and Liz Rose

Black is almost all I wear, honestly. I’ve often wondered why this is the case. Most of my friends wear nothing but black. What’s going on? I like what this article has to say:

“Colors excite our minds in various ways, and how we react to some of them can tell a lot regarding our personalities.

One study states that black is seen as ‘serious’ and ‘reliable,’ which means confident:

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The study states: “Black is Best Most of the Time.”
“Throughout all our survey, black came first or second in most “good” traits (for example confidence, intelligence and sexiness) and barely figured in the “bad” traits (arrogance). It wasn’t a particularly good performer in the “generosity” scale, however, coming second to last after brown, but it’s hard to imagine is being any other way. Try getting your kid to sit on the knee of a black-clad Santa.

Benevolent nocturnal visitations aside, black is the colour to wear when you’re trying to impress, reassure or woo. There’s a certain trustworthiness about it on a person that would make you hand over your life savings and thank them for the privilege.”

More from Maria Hakki:

“Black is generally an indication of “seriousness” and reliability”, so it stands at the top of the list of colors that both sexes find beautiful.

Why?

The answer is simple. Confidence. Almost half of the women and 64% of the men participating in the study think that black emits self-sufficiency. It is the most beautiful, bold, confidence-boosting and calming color that exists.

Those who wear all black are also usually very sensitive, a bit unstable, and want to draw attention on who they are and what they are trying to achieve in life, rather than on their appearance. Another study stemming from color psychology, says that people who love black often have a desire to reclaim their power.

Johnny Cash said: “I wore black because I liked it. I still do, and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion – against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of God, against people whose minds are closed to others’ ideas.”

 

 

Marigold

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For Dia de Muertos:

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there, I did not die.
~unknown

 

Alchemy

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A red-faced sun rises above a city; stunted trees stand in the foreground; representing either the culmination of the alchemical Great Work or the star of hope that inspires the alchemist through his tribulation.

 

Release any thought, behavior or idea that you’ve picked up on your journey, so you can uncover the pure gold of the spirit within you.

“THE FOUR ALCHEMICAL RULES.
1. Follow (your) Nature.
It is useless to seek for the sun by the light of a candle.
2. First know; then act.
Real knowledge exists in the triangle composed of seeing, feeling, and understanding.
3. Use no vulgar processes.
Use only one vessel, one fire, one instrument.
The door to success lies in the unity of will and purpose and the proper adaptation of the means to the end. There are many roads leading to the celestial center. He who follows the chosen path may succeed, while he who attempts to walk on many paths will be delayed.
4. Keep the fire constantly burning.
If the molten metals are allowed to cool off before they are transformed into higher ones, they will become hard again, and the whole process will have to be recommenced from the beginning. Use the inextinguishable lamp. Its light will not go out unless it is driven away by force.

THE FIVE THINGS NECESSARY TO OBSERVE IN THE PRACTICE OF ALCHEMY.
1. To recognize the true PRIMA MATERIA.
It is to be found everywhere; but if you do not find it in your own house, you will find it nowhere. It is a living substance that can be discovered only in places inhabited by man. It is the only substance from which the Philosopher’s Stone can be prepared, and without that substance no genuine silver or gold can be made. In thirty pounds of ordinary mercury, there is usually not more than one pound of the true substance; and a hundred pounds of ordinary sulphur usually contain not more than one pound of that which is useful. It can only be found above the earth, but not below it. It is before everybody’s eyes; no one can live without it; everybody uses it; the poor usually possess more of it than the rich; the ignorant esteem it highly, but the learned ones often throw it away. The children play with it in the street, and yet it is invisible. It can be perceived by the sense of feeling, but it cannot be seen with the material eye.
2. Use for the preparation of the PRIMA MATERIA only the rose-colored blood of the Red Lion and the pure white gluten of the Eagle.
Let your Will be strong, but without anger, and your Thoughts be pure from that which infects the lower strata of the earth’s atmosphere. Let the fire of the divine Will penetrate deeply within your soul, and elevate your mind to the highest regions of thought.
3. Obtain the sacred Fire.
It is not of man’s making; it cannot be bought, but it is given for nothing to those who deserve it.
4. Then follow Multiplication and Increase, for which purpose weight and measure are necessary. Weigh all things with the scales of justice, and measure them by the rule of reason.
5. The fifth is the Application, that is to say the Projection upon the metals.
This will be accomplished by nature without artificial aid.”

In the “Pronaos of the Temple of Wisdom” by Franz Hartmann

Happy Halloween

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The veil is thin and the spirit world is close. This happens every Autumn, and culminates on true Halloween – around November 8th. The Sun is always in Scorpio from October 21st to November 21st – when we celebrate the harvest, the increase of darkness and the Mighty Dead. Scorpio is synonymous with mystery, the occult, and the ability to resurrect oneself. Halloween is the festival of Scorpio.

From Ang Stoic:

“Venus: In her INFERIOR CONJUNCTION, the retrograde VENUS appears to pass between us (earth) and the SUN
This happens once every 584 days (Venus’ synodic cycle), marking the end of Venus’s apparition in the evening sky and her transition towards becoming a ‘morning star’ (VENUS LUCIFER)
The love goddess will soon appear to rise before the Sun, a phenomenon which will last until August 15 next year – itself an immensely supernatural event in our astrological calendar since Venus’s Superior conjunction will then form a ‘yod’ with Neptune and Pluto/Moon/and SouthNode.
Much magic will transpire in our relationships between now and then – our feelings now becoming ever more raw; prone to lead over our thoughts and actions with a fervent immediacy. Like wearing our heart on our sleeve, we commit to matters we would otherwise treat more tentatively or cautiously.
So, yes – a transition towards ‘leading with our goddess’, a time when love can flourish and prosper, because its expression seems more free and spontaneous; not killed off by the thought of duty and responsibility.
Venus in Scorpio is still a ‘Dark Venus’ consumed by her deepest passions and prone devour in order to satiate. Whilst she will soon dip back into Libra (Oct31-Dec02), the next 9 weeks will be intense in our intimate affairs, where passions override logic and lovecraft and heartfuckery ensue. So let love lead and, for a time, cease to say that it is your ‘duty to love’ someone, for feeling obliged to love is the surest way to kill it.”

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

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I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

By Brittany Cox

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here