40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

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I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here

 

Full Moon in Taurus

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Glastonbury Tor, England Sept. 27, 2015

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018  – Sun enters Scorpio at 4:22am Pacific.
Wednesday, Oct. 24 – Moon enters Taurus at 7:33am, Full Moon at 9:45am.

This could be a tense day, so keep a low profile. Taurus is a fruitful, productive, loving sign, but can be cautious and stubborn. And now, Taurus’s ruler Venus, is currently walking backwards (retrograding) through Scorpio. Venus is VERY uncomfortable in this sign because people stop playing nice and start getting “real”. Scorpio values authenticity, not manners or etiquette, and this throws Venus out of her element. Also, Venus in Scorpio causes the ghosts of past lovers to rise up in our lives, which can be stressful and confusing.

There are many influences on this Full Moon. We have the Moon passing over Uranus in Taurus, and landing nearby. This brings a big shake up to the tense undercurrent. Uranus clears away agreements that have become stagnant, and creates huge opportunities for the start of a new phase.

Scorpio is regeneration – the snake shedding it’s skin.
Taurus is devotion
Uranus is change

On the other side of the sky, the Sun and Venus are sitting together in Scorpio; connecting our passion with our vision. The Sun, our soul, is confronting an issue in our lives that has held us back. It could be a limiting idea within us, a feeling of burn out with our work, or a friendship we’ve outgrown.

We are being asked to be brave, show courage, and accept that we have evolved to a new point in our lives. We cannot go backwards anymore, we must step into a new, unknown world and trust a universal plan. Scorpio asks that our “outsides” match our “insides”, and we live our lives in a new authenticity that reflects our inner resolve and maturity.

Happy Birthday Aleister

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from Liber-Al.com

“Today is Aleister Crowley’s Birthday (12th October 1875).

Born Edward Alexander Crowley, he was an accomplished mountaineer, artist, poet, chemist and occultist, who is most well known for his esoteric books. He studied at Cambridge then travelled widely, and was amongst the earliest westerners to study, translate and bring back the key works of Eastern Philosophy. In his youth he was part of a team of mountaineers who very nearly climbed the then unexplored K2.

He was deeply involved in the world of fringe Freemasonry and magical orders, most notably The Golden Dawn. He studied and socialized there alongside all the great and good of the day (artists/poets/authors), along with the Order of Oriental Templars. Although vilified during his own lifetime by the tabloid press and accused of being a traitor, it has since come to light that during the wars he spied for the allies. Labelled “The Wickedest Man in The World” he often courted controversy and led a very liberal lifestyle that would hardly raise an eyebrow today – but did back then.

Keenly interested in personal freedom and the discovery and fulfilment of ones own personal destiny, he founded his own religious/philosophical movement which he called “Thelema”. It stated “Do What Thou Wilt” –  a counter culture statement of freedom embraced in the sixties, but often misunderstood to mean do what you like! John Lennon was a fan, and Crowley was featured on the cover of the Beatles “Sgt. Peppers” album. Another fan, Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin, bought Crowley’s old home (Boleskine house) in Scotland on the shores of Loch Ness. He died 1st December 1947. A complex and controversial person no doubt, a man ahead of his time, but a man who certainly left his mark on the world!

For those interested in reading more about him I highly recommend the excellent biographies: Aleister Crowley by Tobias Churton or Perdurabo: The Life of Aleister Crowley by Richard Kaczynski.”

Empowerment

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It’s (past) time to treat women with respect.

To believe them when they speak out.

To let them live their lives as they choose.

To let them make decisions regarding their own bodies.

To pay them as much as men are paid.

To consider them for positions of power.

To let them love whoever they choose to love.

It’s time to treat women with respect wherever the go.

The new feminism is here.

image: from the artist Karen Hallion.

Here’s her shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/khallion

Hell and back

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“Lost” by Charles Bukowski

they say that hell is crowded, yet,
when you’re in hell,
you always seem to be alone.
& you can’t tell anyone when you’re in hell
or they’ll think you’re crazy
& being crazy is being in hell
& being sane is hellish too.

those who escape hell, however,
never talk about it
& nothing much bothers them after that.
I mean, things like missing a meal,
going to jail, wrecking your car,
or even the idea of death itself.

when you ask them,
“how are things?”
they’ll always answer, “fine, just fine…”

once you’ve been to hell and back,
that’s enough
it’s the greatest satisfaction known to man.

once you’ve been to hell and back,
you don’t look behind you when the floor creaks
and the sun is always up at midnight
and things like the eyes of mice
or an abandoned tire in a vacant lot
can make you smile
once you’ve been to hell and back.

“Lost” by Charles Bukowski, from Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame

Venus Retrograde

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“The Guardian”, by Chie Yoshii.

Venus Retrograde:
October 5th at 12:04pm Pacific. 10° Scorpio. Venus has a regular cycle, and always retrogrades  for 40 days.

Women in general will be effected; becoming more empowered and less tolerant of unauthentic behavior. Scorpio symbolizes the dark goddess, who appears in the Fall to face her fears. She seeks integrity and confronts injustice. This is SO visible in the US right now, with the wave of women coming forward and speaking up with their personal stories of sexual abuse.

Scorpio wants the TRUTH, and has no fear of speaking it. Scorpio is also the sign of passion, commitment, transformation, sex and death. Where Scorpio appears in our charts is where we go deep… where our passion lives.

Venus, as a planet, goddess and ideal, is much much lighter than this, so she is uncomfortable in Scorpio. She wants harmony, tea parties and courtly love. In Scorpio she travels to the underground of our personal psychologies. She has no choice but to face her fears, and embrace the reality that her love is based on. Expect fantasies to vanish, and to know the truth. If a relationship isn’t resting on a solid foundation, it might not survive the retrograde. If you are in denial or in a power struggle with your partner, it will become obvious during this time. Since Scorpio is ruled by Mars (a male sign), you will have new courage to speak your truth. The possibility for deep understanding and healing is also present.

Venus retrograde also brings old flames back into our lives. Scorpio is the sign of the dead, and the ghosts of our pasts can resurrect themselves. We might need to redo creative projects in the areas of romance, art, beauty, and music. This isn’t the time to start any new relationships, and it’s good to watch out for obsession. In Scorpio, Venus craves intimacy, but only in situations based on trust.

Venus will go direct (forward) on November 15th at 25° Libra.

from Austin Coppock:

“In addition Venus will oppose Uranus three times. Not only is the opposition a stronger aspect than the square, but Uranus is currently in a Venus-ruled sign (Taurus), and thus is much more responsive to her movements and condition.
Uranus-Venus combinations disrupt relationship structures and social relations. The two provide exactly the right spark to catalyze break ups and divorces. Even for those unions which are stronger, Uranus’ disruptive, innovative, rebellious power pushes relational rearrangements. Break ups and renegotiations are something we would expect from any Venus retrograde, but Uranus doubles down on these significations.
On the positive side, Venus and Uranus fuel artistic innovation and aesthetic experimentation, facilitate greater freedom of feeling and emotional expression. Venus will also help push through the disruptions and innovations which Uranus has planned in Taurus.”

A woman is powerful when…

pagandawn
“A woman is powerful when her first word isn’t ‘sorry’. A woman is powerful when you forget who the man in her life is. A woman is powerful when she follows her gut. Any woman who belongs to herself has power, and that power is perceived as dangerous.”
— Joan Juliet Buck

Pluto Direct: Astro week October 1

heal

 

Pluto Direct: 7:03pm Pacific, Sept. 30th.

We are absolutely in the thick of it. Last week encompassed all the shadow themes of Pluto: addiction, obsession, sex, power, secrets, control, and the toxic sides of our psyche that desperately need healing. Over the past five months, during Pluto’s retrograde, each of us has looked for our own patterns around control and power. Do we use our power to help others? Do we abuse power and try to control or shame people? Do we hand our power over to feel safe or loved?

We are about to take the revelations we have received, and put them into positive practice. There’s a lighter side to Pluto – healing, evolution and rebirth. With Pluto’s help we find a new awareness around our deepest pain, we are purified and then magnificently transformed. All of us.

The USA is currently having a Pluto return – and we can clearly see these themes being played out on the national stage. Secrets are being brought out into the light, people in power are being confronted, and sexual crimes against women are being acknowledged and (hopefully) shown a new level of respect and understanding. Our country is absolutely divided in half over the injustices around race, and the huge disparities between the rich and the rest of us. Despite the intensity of these battles, the potential for real healing and a higher standard is possible. Pluto insists we evolve.

“When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Monday, October 1st: Moon into Cancer at 11:00am Pacific. A very sensitive day, so avoid too much truth. Be gentle with yourself and others today. If you need to indulge in comfort food, go for it.

Tuesday: We are in the dark of the moon, so take it easy this week. Catch up on rest and wrap up loose ends. Start new projects next week. Mars square Uranus ends today, closing an explosive period of male rebelliousness and entitlement. Last week’s full moon in Aries was played out by Kavanaugh in the Supreme Court hearings last week, while women’s search for the truth, justice and equality embodies Venus in Scorpio and the Libra Sun.

Wednesday: Moon VOID until 2:00pm, then into Leo. Continue to be low key and avoid social complications. This evening is great to go out and socialize or see a live performance.

Thursday: Moon in Leo. You can freely communicate anything you’ve been holding back this week. Leo validates our individual identities, and rules the heart and self expression. This is a great day to speak the truth to authority.

Friday: Venus Retrograde at 10 Scorpio. Experience some beauty today, and aim towards a light hearted social evening if possible.

Fallon, Hart & the terrifying baby ostrich

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OK this is hilarious. Who knew Kevin Hart was so terrified of wild animals… even a baby ostrich chirping happily in Robert Irwin’s arms (yep that’s the late Steve Irwin’s son)!

It’s been an intense week for all of us, and Pluto (major purging), is stationary Direct this weekend, so here’s my attempt to lighten the mood a little! I hope you enjoy this and laugh as hard as I do when I watch it!

Astro week of September 24

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September 24th – Full Moon at 2 deg Aries at 7:52pm Pacific.  Starting this week off with the beautiful Harvest Moon. The emphasis is on balance – in our personal lives and partnerships. How do we take care of ourselves and our responsibilities, and share our lives with others? That is the question for all of us. Mars, the ruling planet of Aries, is conjunct the South Node, helping us let go of past patterns and habits that no longer serve us.

Tuesday, Sept. 25th – Moon in Aries, full moon is still in effect. More tests and lessons manifest; especially with the Sun (vision) square Saturn (responsibility). Best way to handle these energies is to focus on YOU, be present with intuitive flashes and let go of the past.

Wednesday, Sept. 26th – Moon void-of-course in Aries ALL DAY! Keep yourself grounded and continue working on things already begun. Get out in nature today and/or be creative.

Thursday, Sept. 27th – Moon in Taurus and Sun trine Mars. It’s easy to manifest ideas and communicate effectively today. Lots of satisfying forward progress can be made, and if you’ve been waiting for a good time to negotiate something, today is the day.

Friday, Sept 28th – Moon in Taurus, void after 3:36pm Pacific. Excellent day for romance, but make your plans early and expect impulsiveness in the evening. The Moon opposes Jupiter in Scorpio which is intense, but can also bring deep wisdom to any romantic tensions.

Saturday, Sept. 29th – Moon in Gemini, Sun in Libra and Mars in Aquarius. GRAND AIR TRINE. Beautiful aspect allowing for huge, positive movement towards wishes fulfilled. Our actions (Mars) are in alignment with our vision (Sun) connecting with us emotionally (Moon), and all in Air signs giving us ideas and clarity. We feel achievement, inner harmony and activation. Pluto stationing overhead helps us evolve and transform into a new version of ourselves.

September 30th – Pluto turns Direct at 18’45 CAP.  A truly remarkable weekend. We will feel this aspect in subtle ways over the coming weeks. Pluto stations can be intense because the events surrounding it often reflect our personal evolutions. The last station was April 22, and Pluto has been retrograde (going backwards) since then. This planet (yes I said PLANET), brings up old, toxic energy to be purged and healed.

When Pluto stations, or stands still in the sky, secrets are revealed and people struggle for power and control. All of this is highly visible on the national stage. Pluto is one of the rulers of Scorpio, and represents core, primal drives within us, like sex. Also the inescapable aspects of being human, like death. In this case however, the “death” is psychological rather than literal 🙂 We touch our potential, and transform into a higher version of ourselves.