Tag Archives: #transformation

Scorpio: Week of Halloween

hecate

Sun at 5 Scorpio.
Mercury at 27 Scorpio.
Mars at 14 Libra and Venus at 25 Scorpio.
Jupiter at 22 Sagittarius.
Saturn at 15 Capricorn, Pluto at 20 Capricorn.
Uranus, Neptune retrograde.

The intensity of Scorpio is visible in the California fires and the current posturing on the political stage. Saturn and Pluto have barely moved from their Direct positions, which brings more stubbornness and guardedness to the climate.

Meanwhile, we had a New Moon In Scorpio on Sunday. This officially ushers in the witchy season. The veil between the worlds is thin and we can see spirits. Scorpio dives deep into our dreams, secrets and psychology; unearthing healing truths that make us feel triumphant or morose. There’s no middle ground with Scorpio, and we must depend on our instincts and primal nature to walk this underground path.

Scorpio is psychology, ambition, passion, sex, intensity, control, sensitivity, moodiness and suspicion. Practice forgiveness whenever possible and embrace authenticity in yourself and others.

Tuesday, 10/29: Moon void, then into Sagittarius. The Moon is making conjunctions with Venus and Mercury in Scorpio today, which are great aspects for focusing your mind. Mercury brings up issues that have been neglected or hidden. Creative and insightful day.

Wednesday, 10/30: Moon in Sagittarius. Uplifted mood today! You can safely speak your truth and make progress with people. Mercury and Venus form a conjunction in Scorpio, also bringing the desire to get on solid footing with people. If you find yourself ruminating on the motivations of others, either ask them point blank or let it go.

Thursday, 10/31 HALLOWEEN: We start the day off with a Moon-Jupiter conjunction in Sagittarius; bringing elevated spirits and the party vibe. Follow already established plans though, because Mercury stations retrograde around 8:30am bringing a lot of unpredictability to the day.

Friday, 11/1: Moon in Capricorn. After all the partying and soul retrieval this week, it’s time to refocus on working hard. Venus enters Sagittarius tonight, lightening the mood and reigniting the fun. Good evening for money spells.

Saturday, 11/2: Moon in Capricorn. It’s a day of errands, house cleaning, and getting our ducks in a row. Good day to plant bulbs or anything needing root development and a solid foundation.

Sunday, 11/3: Moon into Aquarius and daylight savings time! We fall back an hour, giving us extra time for projects and people we enjoy. Be of service today, and write down your insights and ideas.

Habits and Achievement

young artist moulding raw clay in art studio

young artist moulding raw clay in art studio

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. ~Plato

We stand in the balance of seasons – the change from Summer to Fall and the shift of the Sun to the Southern Hemisphere. The earth, weather and our psyches are primitively linked, and we can feel this change in our bones. This is a time of year when we take stock of our lives as we enter the Fall. The Sun is currently in Virgo, which brings up issues around our habits and health, and I’m looking at this right now in my life.

I’ve started working out harder, and while it’s nice being stronger and having more energy, I like the change in my mind. Suddenly I can think more clearly and I have much more focus than I’ve had over the summer months. I like change. I’m always striving to live the most satisfying life I possible. I try to be aware of what I eat, what I watch on TV and how I spend my time. I love the eight-fold path in Buddhism; particularly finding the right type of work that fits your nature.

It takes a lot of self acceptance and discipline to make long term changes, but it is SO worth it. It comes down to envisioning the best life for yourself, and then taking steps to create it in your free time. That’s what I did. I worked a hard job as a senior Executive Assistant for 10 years, and in my spare time, after work, I studied and learned as much as I could about subjects that interested me. I spent hours training at a meditation/psychic school, learning how to hold my boundaries and be neutral when performing readings.

You can change your life if you really want to, you just need discipline and focus. You really can have whatever you want and do whatever you want as long as you are ready to transform yourself and work for it. At the beginning, you need to give yourself the latitude to make mistakes too, or to have set backs. You just need to keep going and ignore the challenges of time and other people’s motives.

If you are WILLING to commit being a better person, and having a better life, anything is possible. If you can be Open with others, Honest about yourself and intentions, and WILLING to create change, you can do anything. Find the right support and willingness, and you will find a better version of yourself. Practice the art of self-awareness and mindfulness, because being a better person comes from discipline in our habits, not submitting perpetually to our animal natures (valid as they may be).

Many people say they want something, but very few are WILLING to do whatever it takes to change. I always ask myself what are you WILLING to do, what are you WILLING to give up? How bad do you want it?

Fatherless Daughters: How Growing Up Without a Dad Affects Women

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“People who lose their parents early in life are like fellow war veterans. As soon as they discover that they are talking to someone else who has lost a parent, they know they are speaking the same language without uttering a word.” – Pamela Thomas

“Fatherless Daughter Syndrome” (colloquially known as “daddy issues”) is an emotional disorder that stems from issues with trust and lack of self esteem that leads to a cycle of repeated dysfunctional decisions in relationships with men. It can last a woman’s entire lifetime if the symptoms go unacknowledged and ignored.”

“Growing Up Without a Dad Shapes Who You Are” by McKenna Meyers

“It took six decades, but I can finally utter a huge truth that caused me tremendous shame and sadness: My father didn’t love me. I never spoke that deep, dark secret, but it was always festering inside of me. It manifested itself in many ways throughout my life as I struggled with a food obsession, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and depression.
Whether a dad was present but rejecting like mine or walked away from his fatherly duties entirely, his absence leaves an indelible mark on a daughter’s psyche as she grows into adulthood.

Below, you’ll find six ways a daughter may be affected by an uninvolved dad.

1. Fatherless Daughters Have Self-Esteem Issues

According to Deborah Moskovitch, an author and divorce consultant, kids often blame themselves when dad leaves the home and becomes less involved in their lives. When they aren’t given an explanation about why dad left, they make up their own scenario and jump to the conclusion that it’s their fault and that they’re unlovable.
This is especially true for daughters. Countless studies have shown that fatherlessness has an extremely negative impact on daughters’ self esteem. Her confidence in her own abilities and value as a human being can be greatly diminished if her father isn’t there. Academically, personally, professionally, physically, socially, and romantically, a woman’s self esteem is diminished in every setting if she did not form a healthy relationship with her father

2. Daughters With Absent Fathers Struggle to Build and Maintain Relationships

According to Pamela Thomas, author of Fatherless Daughters (a book that examines how women cope with the loss of a father via death or divorce), women who grew up with absent dads find it difficult to form lasting relationships. Because they were scarred by their dad’s rejection of them, they don’t want to risk getting hurt again. Consciously or unconsciously, they avoid getting close to people. They may form superficial relationships in which they reveal little of themselves and put very little effort into getting to know others. They may become promiscuous as a way of getting male attention without becoming too emotionally involved.
Ever since childhood, I’ve built walls around myself. I didn’t open up to people. I didn’t ask questions about their families, jobs, or hobbies. I kept my life private, and I remained socially isolated. These were all self-protective measures so I wouldn’t experience rejection like I did with my dad. Knowing this intellectually did nothing to help me change my behavior because my fear of rejection was more powerful than my desire to make connections.

3. Women With Absent Fathers Are More Likely to Have Eating Disorders

In their book The Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders, the authors Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto write eloquently about the fact that girls with physically or emotionally absent fathers are at greater risk of developing eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia, binge-eating, body dysmorphia, unhealthy preoccupations with food or body weight, and other eating disorders are all more likely if a girl does not have a father figure as she’s growing up. Daughters without dads are also twice as likely to be obese. Because her longing to have a close relationship with her dad is denied, she may develop what Margo Maine (author of Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, & Food) calls “father hunger,” a deep emptiness and a profound insecurity. Daughters are left wondering: What’s so wrong with me that my own father doesn’t love me? If I looked different—if I was thin—would I earn daddy’s love?
I’ve struggled with “father hunger” throughout my life—stuffing my face to fill the void, dieting to get model-thin, and always obsessing about food. My days have been filled with thoughts of eating—either doing it or struggling mightily not to. When I accepted that my dad didn’t love me and that he was an unhappy man with deep-rooted problems, I finally started eating normally and began maintaining a healthy weight. I began treating myself in a loving way by exercising, gardening, reading, walking in the woods, and spending time with family. For the first time in my life, I only thought about food when I was truly hungry. This freed me to enjoy my life in so many wonderful ways.

4. Daughters of Absent Fathers Are More Prone to Depression

Not surprisingly, girls who grew up with dads who were emotionally or physically absent are more likely to struggle with depression as adults. Because they fear abandonment and rejection, these women often isolate themselves emotionally. They avoid healthy romantic relationships because they don’t feel deserving and fear getting hurt, but they might jump into unhealthy relationships that ultimately lead to heartbreak. In either scenario, the women are in emotional peril and frequently become depressed. If they don’t deal with the cause of their sadness—an absent dad—they may never be able to develop healthy relationships with men.
To top it all off, data suggests that children without fathers are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
According to Denna Babul and Karin Louise, authors of The Fatherless Daughter Project, it’s helpful to simply realize that we’re not alone. In fact, one in three women see themselves as fatherless and struggle with feelings of abandonment. Knowing this fact helps us see that there’s a whole sisterhood out there who share a common pain and a need to connect. When we open up and share our journey, we help both ourselves and each other. Whether we feel the loss of a dad through death, divorce, drug addiction, estrangement, or emotional neglect, we must grieve in order to move forward. Read Five Steps to Heal Her Pain: How a Fatherless Daughter Can Move On From Her Dad’s Rejection for ideas on how to avoid falling into depression. A gifted therapist can be key to helping us do just that and becoming happier people.

5. Dadless Daughters Are More Likely to Become Sexually Active Earlier

Studies have shown the many benefits that come from a strong father-daughter bond. Most notably, girls who are close to their dads are less likely to get pregnant as teens. They delay engaging in sexual relationships, wait longer to get married and have children, and when they do find a husband, their marriages are more emotionally satisfying, stable, and long-lasting.
Countless studies also show that women who have unstable or absent paternal relationships are more likely to start having sex earlier and engage risky sexual behaviors. Daughters are four times more likely to get pregnant as a teen if dad isn’t in the picture. Studies show that more than 70% of unplanned teenage pregnancies occur in homes where there is no father.

6. Abandoned Daughters Are Susceptible to Addiction

As with depression, eating disorders, and low self esteem, the absence of a father can trap a daughter in a negative repetitive pattern she can’t easily break out of and turn to drugs to self-medicate and help numb the pain. She is more likely to find herself trapped in a cycle of substance abuse, for example. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse. Not only are kids in father-absent households about four times more likely to be poor (which can trigger many negative cycles), fatherless adolescents were found to be 69% more likely to use drugs and 76% more likely to commit crimes.

Can a Daughter Survive Without a Father?

Try as I might, I was never been able to get any traction, always making a mess of this or that and never able to form long-lasting friendships. I rejected happiness because I never felt worthy of it. I did so much to sabotage my life and make myself miserable.
Then last year my older sister revealed to me that she, too, had felt unloved by him. I immediately felt enormous relief and then great euphoria. I realized it had never been about me—that I was bad, ugly, stupid and undeserving. It had always been about him—his unhappy childhood, his cold mother, his negative nature, and his dissatisfaction with being a husband and father. It had never been about me…never.
I could finally shout: “You were a piece of crap and now I’m done with you! I’m not your prisoner any more!”
According to Caitlin Marvaso, AMFT, a grief counselor and therapist, to recover from a father’s abandonment, a woman “must learn how to father herself, hold herself, and receive the type of love a father provides. It is a lifelong process, but with the proper support, tools, and patience, it is totally possible. That being said, the grief and pain never goes away, it just changes.”
A daughter whose father abandoned her can grow, thrive, learn, excel, succeed, love and be loved, and live a wonderful life when she realizes that the problem isn’t her, it’s him. This is the first step toward healing.

What Is Fatherless Daughter Syndrome?

“Fatherless Daughter Syndrome” (colloquially known as “daddy issues”) is an emotional disorder that stems from issues with trust and lack of self esteem that leads to a cycle of repeated dysfunctional decisions in relationships with men. It can last a woman’s entire lifetime if the symptoms go unacknowledged and ignored.
Does the Reason Affect the Result of Fatherlessness?
Half of the daughters in the US self-identify as having no father in their lives, but the reasons for that fatherlessness vary. Approximately 28% lost their connection to their dads via divorce or separation, while 26% cite emotional absence as the reason for the estrangement. 19% lost their fathers to death, 13% to abandonment, 13% to addiction, 12% to abuse, and 4% to incarceration. 6% say they never met their father.
Certainly, a daughter whose loving dad passed away when she was 15 will be affected differently than a daughter whose father abandoned her when she was born. Unfortunately, many studies do not account for the reasons for fatherlessness.
The effects of fatherlessness can be mitigated by many factors. Daughters who were brought up in households with two moms, a loving and very-involved step parent, or participating grandparents or other extended family members will probably not experience the same lasting wounds and negative impact of a father’s abandonment.

What Are the Emotional Effects of Being Abandoned by a Father?

Compared to those with healthy paternal relationships, fatherless women report…
feeling less happiness and lower levels of well-being,
higher levels of frustration, anger, and anger-related depression,
difficulty navigating the emotions of intimate relationships, and
overwhelming fears of abandonment.

What Are the Psychological Effects of an Absent Father?

To summarize, depression, suicide, eating disorders, obesity (and its effects), early sexual activity, addiction-formation, and difficulty building and holding on to loving relationships are all side-effects of an absent father.

Week of November 19th

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–  “Dance in the country” by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Nov. 15th: Mars in Pisces.
Nov. 16th: Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius, and Venus Direct in Libra.

Monday, Nov. 19th: Moon in Aries, Sun in Scorpio. There’s potential for headstrong behavior today. If it’s hard to gain traction on a project, focus instead on clarifying your vision. Moon/Sun are in Mars-ruled signs, but Mars itself is in Pisces. Mars doesn’t like slogging around in Pisces. Avoid being passive-aggressive when you don’t get your way. Notice if you’re lost in fantasies, guilt trips, gossiping or grudges, and try to be present with unconscious motivations. The desire to escape your life through drinking, drugs, sugar or shopping is a common theme this week.

Tuesday, Nov. 20th: Moon into Taurus at 3:43pm Pacific, Sun in Scorpio. Moon in Taurus (exalted) helps everybody calm down. Enjoy nature and sensual delights today, but avoid intensity in relationships.

Wednesday, Nov. 21st: Moon in Taurus, Sun in Scorpio. Another nature/food day! Excellent date night, or to do anything creative and artistic. Mars and Jupiter will both be amplifying the Full Moon in Gemini tomorrow, but you can feel it now.

Thursday, Nov. 22nd: Moon void all day in Taurus (8:10pm into Gemini).
FULL MOON at 9:39pm. Sun into Sagittarius. THANKSGIVING.
With the Full Moon today and Neptune stationing Direct Saturday, try not to drink too much. Watch a movie or play board games to cool down family tensions. Also, follow traditions today – don’t do anything risky or spontaneous.

Friday, Nov. 23rd: Full Moon in Gemini, Sun in Sagittarius. Should be a chatty and sociable day.

Saturday, Nov. 24th: Moon in Gemini; Neptune Direct in Pisces 5:08pm. When Neptune is stationing Direct, things are not what they appear to be. Try to keep your feet on the ground today. Huge spiritual breakthroughs and revelations are possible.

The thing to remember with Mercury Retrograde is to slow down a little bit. It’s never a good idea to lie or be covert in your actions, but it’s really something to avoid right now.  Don’t conceal anything.

Early/middle November is a powerful time. When the Sun is in Scorpio we are in the Underworld, the spirit world is close and the invisibles are active. The Scorpio Sun is sacred to the dark goddess Hecate, who stands at the crossroads with her torches, scissors and three black hounds; she helps you release your old life. She is the Goddess of Witchcraft, Night, Magick, Dogs and herbalism. She protects people on the fringes – those who rebel against societies norms and follow their own drum beat. She will help you see the truth, which can be jarring but liberating. She is known as Phosphorus, the Torch Bearer and Venus as the Morning Star. Inner seeing is key. Your inner navigation system is more accurate than what’s on the screen.