CURRENTLY: Sun at 22 Scorpio Mercury DIRECT at 13 Scorpio Venus at 8 Capricorn Mars at 10 Scorpio (rulership, do Mars Magick!) Jupiter at 23 Aquarius Saturn at 7 Aquarius (rulership) Neptune RETROGRADE at 20 Pisces (rulership) Pluto at 24 Capricorn North Node at 1 Gemini
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The Sun moves through the last degrees of Scorpio this week, culminating with an ECLIPSE/Full Moon THIS Thursday night at 27 Taurus. That’s a LOT of force and power, but it’s also trine to Pluto over in Capricorn. This energy encourages transformation and spiritual evolution. You are evolving, especially in the material, earthy sides of your life. Pluto doesn’t leave us a choice either – it’s something you have to do. This lunar eclipse lets you access the deepest darkest parts of your subconscious – bringing them to the light – in order to eliminate fear and heal past trauma. This Moon brings peak experiences with beauty, health, relationships, money, home, job and survival. Taurus is a money sign, and indicates prosperity and love. Since this Full Moon takes place in the last degrees of Taurus, we are completing a personal cycle of growth, and something new is about to begin. The Sun enters Sagittarius next Sunday.
The last month has been a deep dive into exploring our ambitions, healing psychological wounds and uncovering hidden agendas. Sun in Scorpio represents personal power and the truth, and wherever it appears in your chart is where you fearlessly walk through the shadows to find the treasure within you.
There’s a bunch of big aspects this week leading up to the Eclipse, but the trickiest one is the tense and disruptive Mars in Scorpio opposing Uranus in Taurus. It started yesterday with Mercury opposing Uranus; this brings a nervous edge to communications through Tuesday. With Mars opposing Uranus, instincts are heightened and there can be sudden breathroughs. We might have revelations or anxiety, or have a strong urge towards liberation.
Monday, November 15th: Moon in Aries makes us fiesty! Sun and Moon in Mars-ruled signs gives us a driven and ambitious start to the week. We each have a direct line to our Will and can make good progress. Avoid headstrong, risky behavior, or engaging in power plays with others. Watch out for taking on more than you can handle.
Sun in Scorpio squares Jupiter in Aquarius: Look out for over-confidence and arrogance. We each need to do some boundary-setting between our emotions and the needs of our friends. Grab opportunities today and try not to overindulge in anything (Jupiter).
Tuesday, November 16th: Moon in Aries is void-of-course at 7:51am, then void ALL DAY until 6:18pm Pacific when she enters Taurus. No negotiating or risk taking today! Instead, work on your personal goals and health. Tests might come up around your identity and who you are becoming. Best to go slow and stay present with yourself so you can respond properly in the moment. Each of us has a new way of being, and a new life manifesting.
Wednesday, November 17th: Moon in Taurus. Mars in Scorpio opposes Uranus in Taurus, asking us to reconcile our passions with our resources – in a way that liberates us. Moon trines Venus, accentuating the earthy, sensual, Taurus vibe, and moves on to conjunct Uranus. We are in the orb of the Full Moon tomorrow night. Any activity that awakens the five senses is highlighted. It’s a sensual full moon. Very passionate night.
Thursday, November 18th: Full Moon and ECLIPSE at 11:00pm Pacific in Taurus makes a couple of tense aspects today with Mercury and Jupiter. Mercury in Scorpio also trines Neptune in Pisces in the morning, which brings our minds and instincts into a wonderful, watery harmony. Good aspect for creativity and deep connections with others. The Full Moon brings love, beauty, passion, commitment, nature, animals, and the Divine Feminine. Avoid power struggles, control issues and obsession. Pushiness and bullying will get you nowhere. Listen to others, respect their wishes and look to the common good. Taurus wants us all to be healthy and secure.
Friday, November 19th: Moon in Gemini. We are in still in the the orb of the Full Moon, but today we are socializing and talking endlessly about it. Mind the details of your life. Venus trines Uranus in the middle of the night, bringing sudden, (hopefully positive) developments to relationships. The Moon in Gemini will help us communicate openly about our feelings.
Saturday, November 20th: Moon in Gemini continues yesterday’s conversations. Today we have Mercury in Scorpio squaring Jupiter in Aquarius, which brings a serious tone to the day. We set boundaries with friends or groups through our thinking and communications. We can find real meaning in our relationships, because Mercury in Scorpio favors deep understanding between people.
Sunday, November 21st: Moon void-of-course in Gemini all day, entering Cancer at 7:30pm Pacific. Sun into SAGITTARIUS at 6:30pm. We enter a new energy field in the fire sign of the Centaur. Take stock and think about setting some goals. Sagittarius is the sign of the Archer, and he likes to aim at a target. Where will you focus your energies for the coming Winter?
CURRENTLY: Sun at 0 Capricorn Mercury at 0 Capricorn Venus at 5 Sagittarius Mars at 23 Aries (Rulership) Jupiter at 0 Aquarius Saturn at 0 Aquarius (rulership) Neptune at 18 Pisces (rulership, strong) Pluto at 23 Capricorn North Node at 19 Gemini
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Tonight, Sunday, December 20th, 2020 is Winter Solstice eve. It is the longest night of the year. Tomorrow morning at dawn, 7:21am Pacific, the Sun rises on the new year. This is because the days grow longer from this point on until the climax at the longest day on June 21st, 2021. Important to think about what you’d like to “grow” in the New Year. Christmas tree lights symbolize finding hope in times of darkness.
That’s the main undercurrent of what’s happening right now: REBIRTH. There’s also the Great Conjunction between Saturn and Jupiter at 0 Aquarius, which is a huge event. lt underlines this rebirth of the Sun. Saturn has been in Capricorn, it’s natural home, for the last 2.5 years, exposing materialism, lack of integrity, and the misuse of power. With Saturn’s entrance into Aquarius, our society will be completely transformed, perhaps leaning towards the promised utopia of Aquarius.
We’re already experiencing some of this shift in the form of lockdowns – Saturn limiting our social (Aquarius) connections. Also, working remotely (Saturn) online (Aquarius).
There’s also aspects happening that are resetting us for 2021:
Mercury conjunct the Sun (combust) at 0 Capricorn.
Pluto at 23 Capricorn exactly square Mars (which is conjunct Eris at 23 Aries).
Week starts with the Moon at 23 Pisces.
The Saturn/Jupiter conjunction enters a square to Uranus in Taurus, and it will be in effect through 2022.
These squares between these specific planets can bring fighting and conflict, so be cautious in the world.
Monday, December 21st: Moon void in Pisces, into Aries at 2:32pm Pacific. WINTER SOLSTICE. Sun enters Capricorn at 2am Pacific. This morning’s sunrise sees the rebirth of the Sun. This is one of the most magical days of the year. Immerse yourself in the wonderful, fresh energies alive in the air today. The Sky King (Jupiter) spreads his wings (Aquarius) and escapes the Earth (Capricorn). All of the cooped-up, earthbound energy of the last two years is shaken off, and we have a new path before us of freedom.
Tuesday, December 22nd: Moon in Aries adds to the feeling of rebirth! Put plans into action, but be aware people won’t be all that patient, or listen well. Drive cautiously.
Wednesday, December23rd: Moon in Aries, but void-of-course at 2:51pm Pacific. Try to avoid signing anything or having important conversations during a void Moon. This is a volatile day, since the Moon conjuncts Mars and Black Moon Lilith, and Mars square Pluto is exact. Tests might come up around your identity. The best use of this energy is setting boundaries where needed, but watch out for irritation and anger. Today begins the final squares of Mars/Eris to Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter. Tempers will be testy through February 2021. Be cautious driving.
Thursday, December24th: Christmas Eve. Moon in Taurus. Things slow waaaay down today and we indulge in sensual delights. Although you may be stuck at home and away from your families this year, get yourself an excellent dinner. Taurus loves food.
Friday, December25th: Christmas Day. Moon in Taurus. Slow, quiet day. Any activity that awakens the five senses is highlighted. Get outside today and appreciate nature.
Saturday, December26th: Moon void-of-course at the end of Taurus all day, and then into Gemini at 3:33pm Pacific. Energy picks up as the Moon trines the lovely Saturn/Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius, so expect some communication or insight into your future path.
Sunday, December27th: Moon in Gemini. Very chatty day full of socializing and online purchases. We are two days from a Full Moon in Cancer, so walk cautiously around people’s feelings.
CURRENTLY: Sun at 3 Sagittarius Mercury at 17 Scorpio (telling secrets) Venus at 2 Scorpio (debilitated) Mars at 15 Aries (Rulership) Jupiter at 24 Capricorn (fall, very weak) Saturn at 27 Capricorn (rulership) Neptune RETROGRADE at 18 Pisces (rulership, strong) Pluto at 23 Capricorn North Node at 20 Gemini
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The Sun has finished it’s travels through Scorpio, and we’ve officially entered the sign of Sagittarius, the Archer. For the next month, we will be reassessing our Truth, and aligning ourselves with new meaning and purpose. The Archer chooses a goal, and focuses her energy there before releasing her arrow. Now is the time to examine our goals, and prioritize what is most important to us.
We’ve been through SO much transformation this year, and most of us are feeling exhausted… but we aren’t out of the woods yet. Jupiter and Pluto joined together a couple of weeks ago, and now Jupiter is on it’s way to catch up with Saturn at the end of December. Once that last conjunction happens, and these planets begin to move into Aquarius, things will start to turn a corner.
This week is manageable, but also a gradual build up to our fifth eclipse of the year, a lunar eclipse next Monday, November 30th in Gemini. During an eclipse, hidden issues arise and come to light to be handled – and since it’s a Full Moon – the issues are emotional in nature.
Also, the planet Neptune is at a stop all week, about to turn Direct this Saturday in Pisces. This will heighten our intuition, but also contribute to brain fog, fatigue, and feelings of being lost. If you feel these things just relax into it and stay in the present moment. Neptune is great for creativity and spiritual pursuits, so put your energy there.
Monday, November 23rd: Moon in Pisces. Moon in a water sign makes this an emotional and spiritual start to the week. Pisces makes things fuzzy and undefined… not the best day for negotiation. Mercury trine Neptune at 8:40pm Pacific encourages healing through inspiration, imagination and spiritual strength.
Tuesday, November24th: Moon in Aries chases Mars, and also trines the Sun newly in Sagittarius. It’s a wonderful, fiery day, so be careful about emotional outbursts or headstrong behavior. It’s a creative day full of ideas!
Wednesday, November25th: Moon in Aries, and conjuncts Mars and Black Moon Lilith. Tests might come up around your identity. The best use of this energy is setting boundaries where needed.
Thursday, November26th: THANKSGIVING! Moon void-of-course in Aries at 3:45pm Pacific, then slows waaaay down as it enters Taurus at 7:43pm. Even though many of us will be away from our families this year, it will still be a day of feasting, overindulgence and sensory delights. Live it up!
Friday, November27th: Moon in Taurus. We are in the realm of the Full Moon eclipse on Monday, November 30th, so things could be getting intense. Any activity that awakens the five senses is highlighted. Get outside today and appreciate nature. Very passionate date night.
Saturday, November28th: Moon at the end of Taurus and Neptune stationing Direct. Love, beauty, passion, commitment, nature, animals, and the Divine Feminine are the energies to focus on this weekend. Look back to June 23rd, when Neptune went retrograde, to see what themes have arisen for you from this transit. When Neptune is stationary there’s two paths we can take: the first is inspiration, clear dreams, heightened intuition, and mystical revelations. The other path is escapism, leading to illusions, hyper-sensitivity, drama, and over indulgence in substances. Try not to overindulge in alcohol, drugs, sugar, shopping, etc.
Sunday, November 29th: Moon in Gemini. Very chatty day full of socializing and online purchases. The Full Moon Eclipse is tomorrow, so no big decisions today.
…”when you meet and date a secure person, something just doesn’t feel quite right. Despite the fact they’re comfortable with emotions, don’t play games and don’t keep you guessing…
You still can’t put your finger on this something.
Well, it’s likely you… not them.
Your brain tricking you, don’t fall for it if you want a secure relationship.
Here’s why dating a secure person feels boring………..
You’re Addicted to Drama in Relationships
“Mismatched attachment styles can lead to a great deal of unhappiness … even for people who love each other greatly.” — Amir Levine
When you’ve got two insecurely attached people in a relationship, it creates an addictive pattern.
Let’s say you’ve got an avoidant person and an anxious person, and they’re dating.
Anxious person — They want the avoidant person to reassure them and show them they care. Anxiously attached people often have low-self esteem and fear abandonment by their partner.
Avoidant person — They don’t like emotional displays because they feel overwhelmed by them. They might begin pulling away from the anxious person and use excuses to avoid them.
In this situation, the anxious person might begin feeling like they’ve done something wrong. Their heart rate goes up; they might feel sweaty and stressed out.
They grab their phone and write a long message to the person. They’re breathing rapidly, and they’re nervous about sending the text.
They just want to fix what they’ve done and make things ‘right’ again. Maybe they try and use sex to do this, I did.
Amir Levine said:
“The trick is not to get hooked on the highs and lows and mistake an activated attachment system for passion or love.”
And if the avoidant person replies or tries to get in touch again, the anxious person feels relieved.
Endorphins rush through their body and brain. The pain in their stomach dissolves, “phew,” they let out a sigh.
It’s like a heroin user getting their fix.
Only this time, the anxious person will walk on eggshells. They’ll stuff their wants and needs down.
It always comes back up again, though, which scares the other person away. And the pattern repeats itself until one person backs away for good.
Dating A Secure Person Feels Like You’re Going Cold Turkey
“You are absolutely worthy of love. You are made of love and you don’t need someone to trigger you into it by their unavailability.” — Damien Bohler
When you’re used to the toxic and high arousal of insecure relationships, secure people won’t give you that addictive hit. Secure people:
Don’t play games
Know what they want, and they will tell you
Won’t push you away if you open up to them
Aren’t afraid of talking about their feelings with you.
This can be terrifying for an insecurely attached person.
When you’ve been used to rollercoaster relationships your whole life, something predictable and stable shocks you.
You might believe there’s no connection between you and the secure person because they don’t trigger the rush you’re used to.
You may want to run and go back to someone who clings on or pushes away because you think this is passion and love.
It’s not passion. It’s insecure attachment.
Stop! Don’t Jump Ship Yet
“In short, secure attachment is attunement. It reflects a positive-enough environment that creates and engenders basic trust.” — Diane Poole Heller
If you’re dating someone secure, the insecure part of you might feel tempted to hightail it. If you feel there’s no connection there, ask yourself:
Is this predictability activating my insecure attachment?
If you persevere and push through the discomfort, you’ll soon learn if it is insecure attachment or if you genuinely don’t have a connection.
It’s important to remember you’ve been used to ups and downs, and it might feel uncomfortable at first dating someone secure.
You might think your connection is dull and lacking passion. Here’s what a secure relationship looks like:
Healthy, secure relationships won’t give you emotional whiplash.
There’s a sense of trust and respect for each other.
You both are comfortable hanging out with friends separately and doing your own thing.
Showing each other love and affection is easy.
Dianne Pool Heller rightly said:
“As we familiarize ourselves more with secure attachment, our relationships become easier and more rewarding — we’re less reactive, more receptive, more available for connection, healthier, and much more likely to bring out the securely attached tendencies in others.”
When your partner models to you what a healthy attachment style is, you tend to follow suit. Even better if you can work on yourself too.
I’m glad I didn’t bail on my partner when I felt overwhelmed, because I wouldn’t have learned what a stable relationship is.
CURRENTLY: Sun at 4 Scorpio Mercury RETROGRADE at 2 Scorpio Venus at 28 Virgo Mars RETROGRADE at 16 Aries (Rulership) Jupiter at 20 Capricorn (fall, very weak) Saturn at 25 Capricorn (rulership) Neptune RETROGRADE at 18 Pisces (rulership) Pluto at 22 Capricorn North Node at 22 Gemini
Crossroads. This is the week leading up to Halloween; a primal festival with ancient roots. You can feel it in your bones. It is the last harvest festival of the year, the witches new year, and the last night before the fairies go underground for the winter. The boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead is at it’s thinnest point for the next several weeks.
Halloween is one of the year’s four cross-quarter holidays, and marks the midway point between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice. However, True Halloween occurs when the Sun reaches 15 degrees Scorpio, which is usually around November 7th. The Sun went into Scorpio last week, and we are officially in the season of death and rebirth.
Last week we released an old relationship pattern that no longer worked for us, and this week we begin a deep dive into exploring our passions, healing psychological wounds and uncovering hidden agendas. Sun in Scorpio represents honesty and passion, and wherever it appears in your chart is where you walk fearlessly through the shadows to find passion and treasure.
Monday, October 26th: Moon in Pisces. Sun and Moon in water signs makes this an emotional and spiritual start to the week. Take a break if you have to, so you can find your true feeling about a situation, and then express this honestly in your communications. Moon in Pisces allows for self forgiveness, abstract thoughts and creativity.
Tuesday, October 27th: Moon in Pisces, Mercury and Venus BOTH enter Libra! Yay! It’s rare for two planets to enter a sign at the same time – and from opposite ends. Mercury backs out of Scorpio and lands on the last degree of Libra, rehashing situations from the last week of September. Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) get some pleasant avenues opening up as Venus arrives at 0 Libra.
Wednesday, October 28th: Moon in Aries. Watch out for head strong behavior or taking on more than you can handle. The best use of this energy is handling situations that take courage and strength, and setting boundaries.
Thursday, October 29th: Moon in Aries conjuncts Mars and Black Moon Lilith. Tests might come up around your identity and who you are becoming. Best to go slow and stay present with yourself so you can respond properly in the moment. Each of us has a new way of being, and a new life, but with Mars still retrograde, it’s not the time to push forward yet.
Friday, October 30th: All Hallows Eve. Moon VOC, then entering Taurus at 2:19pm Pacific. We are in the realm of Halloween and the orb of the Full Moon. Any activity that awakens the five senses is highlighted. It’s a sensual full moon near Black Moon Lilith, so equality and respect are demanded. Very passionate night.
Saturday, October 31st: Halloween. Full (Blue) Moon at 8 Taurus at 7:49am Pacific. Love, beauty, passion, commitment, nature, animals, and the Divine Feminine are the energies to focus on this weekend. Try and avoid power struggles, control issues and obsession. Pushiness and bullying will get you nowhere. Listen to others, respect their wishes and look to the common good. Taurus wants us all to be healthy and secure, so trick or treating will be on hold this year.
Sunday, November 1st: Witches New Year. Sun in Scorpio/Moon in Taurus. The phoenix rises from the ashes. Day to take stock, rest, and decide where to focus your energies for the coming Winter.
CURRENTLY: Sun at 6 Libra Mercury at 1 Scorpio Venus at 25 Leo Mars RETROGRADE at 25 Aries (Rulership) Jupiter DIRECT at 17 Capricorn (fall, very weak) Saturn STATIONING at 25 Capricorn (rulership) Neptune RETROGRADE at 19 Pisces (rulership, strong) Pluto RETROGRADE at 22 Capricorn North Node at 23 Gemini
Can you feel the weight of Saturn? It is the planet of reality, discipline, responsibility, karma, and time, and it is currently standing still in the skies over the East Coast of the United States. Saturn in Capricorn is stationing (standing still), and turned Direct on Monday (9/28). We will feel the weight of this all week. If you have any planets around 25 degrees in any cardinal sign, you will be STRONGLY effected by the energy of this event.
On top of that, Saturn (patriarchy) is in a tight square with an aggressive group of planets near 25 Aries – Eris (discord), Mars (courage and assertiveness) and Lilith (rebellion). Female empowerment is greatly enhanced from this configuration. This square will bring up issues around leadership and control, and could bring violence this week.
Far eastern beliefs and practices state that we are surrounded by impermanence; that the only thing that is truly ours is the beauty of the present moment. Everyone and everything we know will eventually turn into something else. This the way of the world and the archetype of the Fall season. Our planet, society and personal lives are in a state of huge transition, and the best we can do is approach our challenges with love. Appreciate the people around you and the blessings you have in your life.
Monday, September 28th: Moon in Pisces. Mercury also entered Scorpio yesterday, bringing great depth and honesty to communications. Our minds are refocused and our powers of concentration are heightened. Moon in Pisces trines Mercury today, allowing us to express abstract thoughts in a clear way. With Saturn stationing Direct tonight, practice mindfulness and discipline.
Tuesday, September 29th: Moon in Pisces, Saturn stations Direct in Capricorn. Any Earth sign folks should be feeling a new sense of security today, but any Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra) could get a reality check on their grand designs. With the Moon in Pisces, meditate and contemplate your life. Music and spirituality soothe the soul and ignite our imaginations. Great night to play or listen to music and make art.
Wednesday, September 30th: Moon VOC in Pisces. No big decisions or important conversations with authority. I would avoid that until next week if possible. Follow your intuition, go with the flow, and make time for solitude.
Thursday, October 1st: Full Moon in Aries. Watch for messages from the Universe about your identity, and your experience of evolutionary shifts. Each of us is changing and evolving into new, upgraded version. Each of us has a new way of being, and a new life. Focus your ambition and drive towards things you want to accomplish.
Friday, October 2nd: Moon In Aries, and Venus into Virgo. We are still feeling energetic, and good progress can be made now. Aries is the sign of individuality, so it’s all about YOU. Venus in Virgo is in it’s fall – which is one of the most difficult placements for the planet to express itself. Instead of art, put energy into organization.
Saturday, October 3rd: Moon in Taurus and Pluto in Capricorn stationing. Evolution, research, reformation and healing are the energies to focus on this weekend. Venus and Pluto are in tense placement this weekend, which can bring difficulties in relationships. Try and avoid power struggles, control issues and obsession. Pushiness and bullying will get you nowhere. Listen to others, respect their wishes and look to the common good.
Sunday, October 4th: Moon in Taurus and Pluto Stationing Direct in Capricorn. The phoenix rises from the ashes. Eris, the planet of discord is in the sign of Aries, the Individual. She is in a tense square to her brother Pluto, the planet of extremes, in the sign of Capricorn, which symbolizes control and the patriarchy. Be careful if you’re out there protesting.
CURRENTLY: Sun at 8 Virgo Mercury at 18 Virgo Venus at 22 Cancer (neutral) Mars at 27 Aries (Rulership) Jupiter RETROGRADE at 17 Capricorn (fall, very weak) Saturn RETROGRADE at 26 Capricorn (rulership) Neptune at 19 Pisces (rulership, strong) Pluto RETROGRADE at 22 Capricorn North Node at 25 Gemini
Full Moon in Pisces Tuesday evening, which is normally a spiritual and peaceful event, however, issues around leadership, control and violence will be evident this week. Eris, the planet of Discord is in the sign of Aries, the Individual. She is in a tense square to her brother Pluto, the planet of extremes, in the sign of Capricorn, which symbolizes control and the patriarchy. I would avoid honestly avoid protests this week and the foreseeable future.
Monday, August 31st: Moon in Aquarius. Believe in your genius and gifts. No one else in the world can express your unique energy, so it’s up to you. People are friendly, and progress can be made in communications. With an Aquarius Moon, video chat with your friends or community. If you encounter stubbornness, practice mindfulness.
Tuesday, September 1st: Full (HARVEST) Moon in Pisces at 10:22pm. Meditate and contemplate. Music and spirituality soothe the soul and ignite our imaginations. Great night to play or listen to music, or do your art!
Wednesday, September 2nd: Full Moon in Pisces continues. Follow your intuition, go with the flow, and make time for solitude. Also, Venus opposition to Saturn is exact in the morning. Venus (women, art creativity) comes up against the reality and discipline needed to be productive. Women might come up against resistance in the work place. You are being asked to be patient, but to also completely own who you are and who you’re growing in to! Venus going through oppositions with Saturn and Pluto this week illuminates the areas where you are evolving and setting boundaries. Watch for messages from the Universe!
Thursday, September 3rd: Moon in Aries. Use what you’ve learned from the Full Moon this week to start something new today! Focus your ambition and drive towards things you want to accomplish. Aries is the sign of individuality, so it’s all about YOU. Try and get yourself grounded before undertaking anything. Lots of energy for adventures, creativity, and new projects.
Friday, September 4th: Moon In Aries. We are still feeling energetic and good progress can be made in the morning. Venus square Mars today brings sexy tension to relationships! With Mars in Aries and Venus in Cancer, be sensitive to the other person’s feelings, and make sure there is good understanding between you before taking any action.
Saturday, September 5th: Moon in Aries and Mercury into Libra! Our mental focus changes from analysis and nervousness to balance and creativity. You will receive lots of wonderful artistic and creative ideas. Communications in relationships will get a positive boost. Focus on being balanced and fair in your dealings with others.
Sunday, September 6th: Moon in Taurus. The coziness of home. Nice evening to cook and be around loved ones. Venus enters Leo today too! All of us will feel the urge to shine, express our individuality and be more outgoing. Love and art become fiery and passionate, and women step into leadership. Make use of this month, Venus will be in Leo until October 2nd. For artists, let yourself loose to experiment and show whatever you discovered while Venus was in Cancer.
“If he’s not asking you out often, he’s not interested in a relationship. If he only texts you when he’s bored at work, he’s not interested in a relationship. If you only hear from him in the middle of the night, he’s not interested in anything but sex.
This is also why you don’t only date HIM, you date tons of guys at the same time. Let the best man win, damn it.
What has this guy done to deserve your exclusivity? What has he done to prove to you that you should cut off all your other options?
You pressing him for a verbal answer isn’t going to make him want to be with you if he doesn’t already. It isn’t going to make you look like a confident, sexy woman, either.
A confident sexy woman is paying attention to who is paying attention to her. Period. If it’s not him, then he’s out of the running, or very low on the list.
This is YOUR love life. This is YOUR time and energy. Don’t be so eager to shove it in some random guy’s face. Stop committing to men simply because YOU like him. That doesn’t mean he likes YOU. Don’t choose him and then try to make him want you.
Stop opening the door every five seconds looking out to see who’s coming up the walk way. Be too goddamn busy to care who the fuck is coming to your door. And only open it for those who have the fucking balls to knock on it. Stop opening it and waving them in from the street.
Stop saying words. Walk the fuck away. They’ll notice that.
I was up late last night watching trash TV at the hotel my friend got to bribe me into taking her to LAX. I’m a sucker for down pillows and comforters and rooms I don’t have to clean.
She put on a show called Marrying Millions. Yep, that show exists. And I saw a perfect example of exactly what I’m talking about.
The couple is a 34 yo woman and a 29 yo millionaire entrepreneur/rapper man. They’ve been dating for a year. He got her a diamond bracelet for her birthday, not an engagement ring and she was pissed. She decided she needed to talk to him about this. (DON’T DO IT, I’m screaming at the screen)
She wants to know where this relationship is going. (yawn) She’s 34 and wants to get married and have kids and start a family.
It’s a relationship, not a business transaction. You’re dealing with an actual person with their own feelings and wants and timeline, not an inanimate object you can put anywhere you want.
He said he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he’s not ready to get married tomorrow. She doesn’t want to accept that. She wants a guarantee that if she waits he’ll marry her.
THAT’S NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK
No one can guarantee you shit. That’s the risk you take in love. Do you love him? Then it shouldn’t matter when it happens. And pressuring him isn’t going to make it happen any sooner.
Only it did. He took her to a ring shop the next day.
But here’s the thing: her pressure didn’t make HIM any more ready to marry her. It made him afraid to lose her, sure. So she was going to get a Shut the Fuck Up ring out of fear instead of an inspired, heartfelt proposal.
She said to him, “Are you doing this because you feel like I pressured you?” And THAT’S why you don’t do this kind of shit, because you will NEVER know the truth. You will NEVER KNOW if he asked you because you pressured him or because he really wanted to.
The ONLY way to know if a man truly wants to be with you is if it’s HIS idea, HIS choice, of his own volition and not from any emotional manipulation on your part.
Isn’t that what you want? Someone who wants you because you’re you and not because you have to convince/threaten/pressure them to be with you? That screams desperate, not confident. That screams willing to settle, not you’re the best choice for me.
Work on yourself. Build your confidence, self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem.
The more you love yourself the less you’ll be willing to settle for and/or throw yourself at the next remotely passable guy who shows you basic human kindness that you confuse for romantic interest.
SPOILER: the diamond bracelet was CZs and they’re still not engaged. Shocker.