“We may find distant or avoidant partners alluring because their avoidance is a challenge for our ego …
We might find it more exciting to be caught up in a push-pull dynamic with someone, than to say yes to love that is readily available and healthy for us.
The excitement comes from eroticizing rejection – it feeds that part of us that still feels like have something to prove.
Prove we’re lovable or worthy. That we are so special that we can change someone’s mind or behaviour.
But that excitement you feel is also draining your energy and soul-sucking on so many levels.
When we abandon ourselves for someone who’s undeserving of our energy, our inner-child is is usually hurting deeply and feeling afraid to be alone.
It’s ok to walk away when your heart isn’t being cherished, honored or supported.
We’re all going to have days where we show up as the worst version of ourselves.
But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be with someone who we know is in our corner.
Someone who loves us on the hard days and treats the relationship as sacred.
Any time we waste chasing someone to give us love, there’s an unmet internal need for love and nurturance toward our inner-child.
You don’t need someone to reflect back your wounds without being willing to heal with you.
You don’t need someone to trigger all of your insecurities by treating you like an after-thought or avoiding intimacy.
It might feel unnatural to let go of this type of connection because you’re breaking a very old pattern … you might even find it “boring” to move towards love that doesn’t trigger you.
Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you “crazy”, it means you really want to heal.
And to heal, you have to practice letting healthy love in.
Healing occurs as you sever your addictions to shadow relationships and move toward people who hold you in your highest light.
Healing comes from doing Self-acceptance work and making the relationship with YOU and your inner-child the number one relationship in your life.
And healing occurs from understanding yourself and your true nature in relationship.”
– from risingwoman.com