Tag Archives: romance

Women who chase avoidant men

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“We may find distant or avoidant partners alluring because their avoidance is a challenge for our ego …

We might find it more exciting to be caught up in a push-pull dynamic with someone, than to say yes to love that is readily available and healthy for us.

The excitement comes from eroticizing rejection – it feeds that part of us that still feels like have something to prove.

Prove we’re lovable or worthy. That we are so special that we can change someone’s mind or behaviour.

But that excitement you feel is also draining your energy and soul-sucking on so many levels.

When we abandon ourselves for someone who’s undeserving of our energy, our inner-child is is usually hurting deeply and feeling afraid to be alone.

It’s ok to walk away when your heart isn’t being cherished, honored or supported.

We’re all going to have days where we show up as the worst version of ourselves.

But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be with someone who we know is in our corner.

Someone who loves us on the hard days and treats the relationship as sacred.

Any time we waste chasing someone to give us love, there’s an unmet internal need for love and nurturance toward our inner-child.

You don’t need someone to reflect back your wounds without being willing to heal with you.

You don’t need someone to trigger all of your insecurities by treating you like an after-thought or avoiding intimacy.

It might feel unnatural to let go of this type of connection because you’re breaking a very old pattern … you might even find it “boring” to move towards love that doesn’t trigger you.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t make you “crazy”, it means you really want to heal.

And to heal, you have to practice letting healthy love in.

Healing occurs as you sever your addictions to shadow relationships and move toward people who hold you in your highest light.

Healing comes from doing Self-acceptance work and making the relationship with YOU and your inner-child the number one relationship in your life.

And healing occurs from understanding yourself and your true nature in relationship.”

– from risingwoman.com

Here’s 12 Intense Pictures From Carl Jung’s Red Book

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Page 22, Reprinted from The Red Book by C. G. Jung (c) Foundation of the Works of C. G. Jung. With permission of the publisher, W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Carl Jung was quite the artist. We’ve picked out a few of his most beautiful illustrations from the mysterious Red Book, his shamanic record.

Source: Here’s 12 Intense Pictures From Carl Jung’s Red Book

Neptune stations

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This week begins with Neptune stationing (standing still) above our heads at 16 degrees Pisces, and slowly going retrograde (reversing) over the next week.

Neptune breaks up, diffuses and dissipates the place where it lands in your chart. It could also aspect one of your natal planets, dissolving the boundaries of that planet and house. If you are a Pisces, Gemini, Virgo or Sagittarius, you could be very effected by Neptune’s influence in the next few months.

With Neptune, you always have a choice. You can escape your fears by drinking or using drugs, OR you can ask for spiritual strength. I whole-heartedly encourage you to ask for the spiritual strength 🙂 The next few months offer a special time to do deep healing on yourself and your life.

Here’s a great article

from Ronnie Pontiac:  “This can indicate a spaced out but potentially dreamy quality for this week into next. Take care when you commute. For some this may be a time of exhaustion and confusion, if so stop, meditate, get some rest. Dreams may provide useful insights. Inspiration and imagination can be strong so if you’re a creative person make time to receive these gifts of perspective.
Tuesday Mercury trine Jupiter is exact however with Mercury opposition Saturn fading but still an influence this may not be as fun a time as Mercury trine Jupiter can indicate. At worst avoid over optimism, arrogance, over doing, over spending and especially overindulgence. With Neptune stationary the urge to intoxicate and other forms of escapism can be very strong. Use common sense. A good time for meditation with Neptune and Saturn so strong.
Wednesday Mercury trine Neptune one minute before 1 PM is another aspect of inspiration and imagination. Again, dreams can be insightful. Jupiter trine Neptune is still strong and with Neptune stationary the beginning of this week could be a time for profound spiritual insights. Study a spiritual path. Open yourself to mystical exploration. Enjoy some relaxing time by water.
Early Thursday morning just after 3 AM the Summer Solstice arrives as the sun enters Cancer. Can you believe it? 2018 is half over. Look back on the year so far. Are you accomplishing your goals? What would you like to accomplish over the next six months?
Also Thursday just before 10 AM Venus opposition Mars is exact. With Mars going stationary retrograde five days later the Mars side of this opposition will be emphasized. On the negative side it can indicate conflict between the genders and a generalized state of irritation. But on the positive side the tension can be romantic and sexual, and creative. A good time to complete, or turn the corner toward completion, for artistic projects. To get best results find balance between the pleasure seeking appreciation for harmony and beauty that is Venus and the forceful willpower and aggression of Mars.
Friday just before 11 PM sun sextile Uranus is exact indicated possible opportunities for greater freedom. The unexpected may give you a sense of liberation. Look to new tech, new perspectives and new communities for inspiration but be careful as Mercury opposes Pluto just a few hours later.
Very early Saturday morning Mercury opposition Pluto is exact. Expect more ugly secrets and more political power plays. Be careful of saying bitter or hateful things under the pressure of the moment. At worst this can be a time of suspicion, paranoia, and obsession. A time of irritation and arguments that can turn violent. Avoid power struggles and wasting energy on fruitless conflict. At best this can be a time to learn about healing, to communicate catharsis, to repair and reform and to discard where necessary. Pluto favors meditation.

April Rewinds: Astro Report

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Lots of retrogrades (and introspection) affecting us this month, giving us the chance to review our growth since the start of the year. We are slowing down, making sure we have solid foundations.

April 5th at 10:06pm (pacific): Saturn Retrograde in Sagittarius.
April 9th at 4:14pm: Mercury Retrograde at 4° Taurus.
April 10th at 11:08pm: Full Moon at 21° Libra.
April 15th at 3:18am: Venus (currently R) goes Direct in Pisces – exalted!
…and Jupiter Retrograde in Libra until June 8th!

And TODAY, Sunday, retrograde Venus in Pisces is squaring retrograde Saturn in Sag at exactly 27°. Partnerships are being seriously reevaluated this week. Relationships regarding love and business are tested to see if they can withstand the pressures of long term commitment. Saturn doesn’t fool around. Are you willing to do the hard work necessary to keep your pledge to another person? If yes, the relationship has a strong center and will probably be a lasting one. But if they are castles built of sand, they will diminish.

This is an important time to take inventory of what’s working and what’s not working, and to gauge the commitment level of each person. This tension will be accented by the Full Moon in Libra tomorrow, and Venus’s’ stationing at the end of the week.

There are four planets retrograding together this week. That’s pretty amazing! I can’t remember the last time this happened 🙂 In general, all of us need to:

  1. Re-evaluate things you’re committed to.
  2. Re-examine your VALUES and adjust if necessary. What’s most important?
  3. Start with getting grounded; take each day as it comes.
  4. Don’t expand into future worries – but deal with what’s in front of you right now.
  5. Be in the present.

The great RE-VALUE is here.

 

From Empowering Astrology:

“The planet of love and relationships has been retrograde since March 4. During this time we’ve had to take a deeper look at value, money, power dynamics, and how we connect with others. Retrogrades are merely times to integrate and reflect. The tide pulls in and out. Retrogrades are a yin phase, a time to reflect on the shadow. Venus Retrograde has put us through our paces and as it stations in Pisces on April 15, conjunct Chiron and square Saturn, we will have to face old pain around relationships and value and endeavor to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

Lastly, tomorrow’s Libra Full Moon will hit home on a lot of these deeper Venus Retrograde themes we’ve been sorting through over the last four weeks. Use the full moon to face or confront something you’ve been needing to confront. Use Saturn to set a boundary. Use Uranus to break from an old pattern. Use Pluto to leave something behind for good. Use Jupiter to have the faith that there is something better out there.”

Choose her everyday (or leave her)

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Great sentiment about love that’s been circulating around this week! We had a New Moon in Scorpio on Wednesday, and this article is a reflection of the emotional depth and commitment reflected in this sign. check it out:

“Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)” by Brian Reeves

I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.

I did want to be with this one. I really wanted to choose her. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny and sexy and sensual. She could make my whole body laugh with her quick, dark wit and short-circuit my brain with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms was my happy place. I loved her wildly.

Unfortunately, as happens with many young couples, our ignorance of how to do love well quickly created stressful challenges in our relationship. Before long, once my early morning blissful reverie gave way to the strained, immature ways of our everyday life together, I would often wonder if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.

As the months passed and that thought reverberated more and more through my head, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little less.
I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.

Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for: her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.

love-coupleI was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behavior. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.

Thus did our nasty death spiral play itself out over five years.
She fought hard to make me choose her. That’s a fool’s task. You can’t make someone choose you, even when they might love you.
To be fair, she didn’t fully choose me, either. The rage-fueled invective she often hurled at me was evidence enough of that.

I realize now, however, that she was often angry because she didn’t feel safe with me. She felt me not choosing her every day, in my words and my actions, and she was afraid I would abandon her.

Actually, I did abandon her.

By not fully choosing her every day for five years, by focusing on what bothered me rather than what I adored about her, I deserted her.
Like a precious fragrant flower I brought proudly into my home but then failed to water, I left her alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat of our intimate relationship.

I’ll never not choose another woman I love again.
It’s torture for everyone.
If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question:
“Why am I choosing my partner today?”

If you can’t find a satisfying answer, dig deeper and find one. It could be as simple as noticing that in your deepest heart’s truth, “I just do.”
If you can’t find it today, ask yourself again tomorrow. We all have disconnected days.

But if too many days go by and you just can’t connect with why you’re choosing your partner, and your relationship is rife with stress, let them go. Create the opening for another human being to show up and see them with fresh eyes and a yearning heart that will enthusiastically choose them every day.

Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day.

You do, too.
Choose wisely. ॐ”