Fantastic insights depression and the death of Chris Cornell. I also found this study that links addiction to childhood trauma:
IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING, PLEASE GET HELP. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, it’s a way of taking care of yourself and the people that love you.
Chris Cornell, 1964-2017
Chris Cornell died early Thursday morning. His band Soundgarden played a show on Wednesday night at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Two hours after the show ended, he was gone.
For two days, I’ve been working on a piece to pay tribute to him, and it’s been a struggle. Usually when I have a problem like this it’s because I’m staring at a blank screen trying to figure out what I want to say. That’s not the problem this time. The problem is I have way too much to say.
I’m not going to sit here and claim to have been a huge fan of Soundgarden. I didn’t dislike them, I just had to take them in small doses. I was a fan of Cornell. I love “Seasons,” the solo song he had on Cameron Crowe’s movie, Singles. It’s a droning acoustic song about isolation and the…
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Furthermore, it also increases risky health behaviors such as smoking or having a large number of sexual partners, and even contributes to a lower life expectancy.
The study revealed that those traumatized as children, with six or more adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), died nearly 20 years earlier than those who had none.
As well as physical affects, these experiences are known to increase the risk of poor psychological health later.
Children who suffer trauma often grow to distrust others as a result of being betrayed by the very adults who are supposed to nurture and protect them, according to the Australian abuse support group Blue Knot Foundation.
Similarly, a study of more than 21,000 child abuse survivors age 60 and older in Australia revealed a much greater rate of failed marriages and relationships, with abuse survivors more likely to rate themselves “not happy at all” or “not very happy.”
Other problems people with a history of child trauma are more likely to experience include depression, anxiety, drug or alcohol abuse, addiction to gambling and shopping, and low self-esteem.
Despite this, there are a number of therapies and tools known to help trauma survivors such as mindful meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy. “
In this season of Gemini birthdays, it’s good to keep an eye on our thoughts. Gemini, ruled by Mercury, symbolizes the Mind, so while the Sun is in Gemini take stock of your thinking patterns and be present with them. Always try and keep your focus on the positive and what’s working in your life! This article shows it has a physical effect on your body:
“The words you choose to use can literally change your brain.
Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at Thomas Jefferson University, and Mark Robert Waldman, a communications expert, collaborated on the book, “Words Can Change Your Brain.” In it, they write, “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.”
When we use words filled with positivity, like “love” and “peace”, we can alter how our brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Using positive words more often than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them into action.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, when we use negative words, we are preventing certain neuro-chemicals from being produced which contribute to stress management. Each and every one of us are initially hardwired to worry; it’s how our primal brain protects us from dangerous situations for survival.
So, when we allow negative words and concepts into our thoughts, we are increasing the activity in our brain’s fear center (the amygdala), and causing stress-producing hormones to flood our system. These hormones and neurotransmitters interrupt the logic and reasoning processes in the brain and inhibit normal functionality. Newberg and Waldman write, “Angry words send alarm messages through the brain, and they partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes.”
An excerpt from their book tells us how using the *right* words can literally change our reality:
“By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind, you stimulate frontal lobe activity. This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action. And as our research has shown, the longer you concentrate on positive words, the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain.
Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt. Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality.”
A study done by Positive Psychology further elaborates on the effects of using positive words. A group of adults aged 35-54 were given a nightly task of writing down three things that went well for them that day, including an explanation of why. The following three months showed their degrees of happiness continued to rise, and their feelings of depression continued to decline. By focusing and reflecting on positive ideas and emotions, we can improve our overall well-being and increase functionality of our brain.
What words do you choose to focus your energy on? If you notice your life isn’t exactly “peachy,” try carrying a journal with you to keep track of how often you use negative words. You may be surprised to find how simple the solution to a better life really is- change your words, change your life.”
Excellent reflection on codependency, which I’ve also suffered from. My personal solution has been to stay PRESENT with myself, and to be clear about my motivations. I’d love to hear your thoughts in my comments section.
“Unfortunately when we live like this nobody wins because we lie to ourselves and those around us; and superficial dishonest relationships don’t last.”
“On any given day we’re lied to from 10 to 200 times, and the clues to detect those lie can be subtle and counter-intuitive. Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, shows the manners and “hotspots” used by those trained to recognize deception — and she argues honesty is a value worth preserving.”
“Pamela Meyer thinks we’re facing a pandemic of deception, but she’s arming people with tools that can help take back the truth.
Why you should listen
Social media expert Pamela Meyer can tell when you’re lying. If it’s not your words that give you away, it’s your posture, eyes, breathing rate, fidgets, and a host of other indicators. Worse, we are all lied to up to 200 times a day, she says, from the white lies that allow society to function smoothly to the devastating duplicities that bring down corporations and break up families.
Working with a team of researchers over several years, Meyer, who is CEO of social networking company Simpatico Networks, collected and reviewed most of the research on deception that has been published, from such fields as law-enforcement, military, psychology and espionage. She then became an expert herself, receiving advanced training in deception detection, including multiple courses of advanced training in interrogation, microexpression analysis, statement analysis, behavior and body language interpretation, and emotion recognition. Her research is synthetized in her bestselling book Liespotting.”
What others say
“All forms of self deception make us vulnerable to the scam, the con, the false promise, the bad hire, the unwise promotion, the faulty new product.” — Portfolio.com