Tag Archives: habits

Loneliness during the Holidays

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31tmag-witches-jumbo

Gertrude Abercrombie’s “The Stroll” (1943). Credit Credit Oil on fiberboard, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Gertrude Abercrombie Trust

Loneliness is a worthy foe, and with the rise of social media, most of us are suffering from it in some form – especially this time of year. It’s easy to feel isolated in tense family situations or even parties.

“Striving for connection along with a healthy dose of self-care will get you through the season.”

So how do we cope? I’m glad I ran across this article today. It has some fantastic actions we can take to combat loneliness, especially this time of year. Along with the list from the article, I would add these things:

Encourage Friendships

Having a social life and human connection is important for us to thrive in our lives. A lot of people are shy about reaching out, or inviting people to do things. Do It!! Same sex friendships are particularly important in my opinion. If you have trouble meeting people then volunteer for something you care about…. and/or get a pet.

Having Pets

Animals are awesome. If you don’t, or can’t,  have one, volunteering at the local shelter is a great way to interact cats and dogs, and to be of service at the same time!

Go to a Gym

It took me awhile to build up to it, but now I go three times a week. Working out keeps my blood moving and my endorphins running. I think more clearly, and I’m able to make better decisions. And I have more energy. Exercise is the best thing for everyone.

Limit Alcohol

I’m personally sober since 2005, but if I wasn’t I would severely limit alcohol and stay away from drugs. In my experience these things end up making loneliness much worse.

Limit Sugar

This time of year is next-to-impossible to eat right, but I SO stay away from eating sugar. It keeps my blood sugar steady throughout that day so there’s less moodiness.

Good Night’s Sleep

I strive to get a good night’s sleep every night – which means eight solid hours in a dark, cool room.

Practice Gratitude

List ten things you’re grateful for when you feel low and it will completely change your thinking and mood.

Walk in Nature

I take a walk in nature everyday with my dog. Looking at trees, grass, and feeling the warmth of the sun brings me lots of joy.

Be Creative

It doesn’t matter if you’re good at it. You’ll probably improve as you go along anyway. I’ve taken multiple creative paths and it feels so good to create something. Write something or pick up and instrument… or a pen!

Be of Service

Get out and be of service to people. Being of service in some way is crucial.

Get a New Job

I know from experience, if you’re unhappy with your job, you HAVE to make a change. Life is too short and we spend too much time there. Anyone can do it. Make a plan, get some training or education, and DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

Habits and Achievement

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young artist moulding raw clay in art studio

young artist moulding raw clay in art studio

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. ~Plato

We stand in the balance of seasons – the change from Summer to Fall and the shift of the Sun to the Southern Hemisphere. The earth, weather and our psyches are primitively linked, and we can feel this change in our bones. This is a time of year when we take stock of our lives as we enter the Fall. The Sun is currently in Virgo, which brings up issues around our habits and health, and I’m looking at this right now in my life.

I’ve started working out harder, and while it’s nice being stronger and having more energy, I like the change in my mind. Suddenly I can think more clearly and I have much more focus than I’ve had over the summer months. I like change. I’m always striving to live the most satisfying life I possible. I try to be aware of what I eat, what I watch on TV and how I spend my time. I love the eight-fold path in Buddhism; particularly finding the right type of work that fits your nature.

It takes a lot of self acceptance and discipline to make long term changes, but it is SO worth it. It comes down to envisioning the best life for yourself, and then taking steps to create it in your free time. That’s what I did. I worked a hard job as a senior Executive Assistant for 10 years, and in my spare time, after work, I studied and learned as much as I could about subjects that interested me. I spent hours training at a meditation/psychic school, learning how to hold my boundaries and be neutral when performing readings.

You can change your life if you really want to, you just need discipline and focus. You really can have whatever you want and do whatever you want as long as you are ready to transform yourself and work for it. At the beginning, you need to give yourself the latitude to make mistakes too, or to have set backs. You just need to keep going and ignore the challenges of time and other people’s motives.

If you are WILLING to commit being a better person, and having a better life, anything is possible. If you can be Open with others, Honest about yourself and intentions, and WILLING to create change, you can do anything. Find the right support and willingness, and you will find a better version of yourself. Practice the art of self-awareness and mindfulness, because being a better person comes from discipline in our habits, not submitting perpetually to our animal natures (valid as they may be).

Many people say they want something, but very few are WILLING to do whatever it takes to change. I always ask myself what are you WILLING to do, what are you WILLING to give up? How bad do you want it?