Love inSight

So glad I ran into this article today! I hope it’s helpful to other people out there. I’ve been in and out of a few relationships, and when I’m alone I’ve noticed this slight twinge inside that I NEED to be part of a couple, because that’s what humans DO. I know intellectually that this isn’t the truth, but I still run into it sometimes… the following article is a good cure for that type of thinking:

respect

“Be Alone Until You Find Someone Who Actually Gives A Shit About You

Article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2017/06/be-alone-until-you-find-someone-who-actually-gives-a-crap-about-you/

Being alone is not scary, or bad, or a curse, or any other bullshit thing that people make it out to be. Being alone is also not lonely, unless you make it lonely.

Being alone is better than settling for a bunch of shitty dates that make you feel horrible about yourself or waking up next to some dude who thinks your name is Whitney when it’s not even close. Being alone is the time you have to get comfortable with yourself and that time is so important.

People get so stressed and worked up about being alone when there is no reason for it at all because being alone is as good or as bad as you make it.

Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t just say they will show up but actually shows up and shows up excited to see you. Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t make endless excuses and actually wants to spend time with you doing the things you want to do.

Be alone until you find someone who talks about you and who talks you up to their friends, or family, or coworkers, or the homeless dude on the street corner – literally anyone. Be alone until you find someone who is proud as hell to show you off because anything less than that is bullshit.

Be alone until you find someone who can’t wait to see you but not in an overbearing pushy, controlling manner but in an “I care about you” manner because yes, there is a difference between the two. And no, being with someone who controls you is not cool.

Be alone until you find someone you actually want to spend your free time with not someone you’re convincing yourself you like or worse – someone you have to convince to like you. Someone whose attention you have to beg for is not someone who is worth your time. If someone likes you, you will know otherwise it’s time to let them go and focus more on yourself.Be alone until you find someone who misses you when you’re not around, not someone who forgets you exist on the weekends unless they’re drunk and lonely. Be alone until you find someone who actually gives a shit about the way you feel. Not someone who says “oh well, you’ll forgive me later” or just expects you to get over it. Be alone until you find someone who doesn’t ghost you or leave you hanging more often than not.

Be alone until you find someone who is proud of you, who inspires you, who wants you to be better and wants to help you get there. Be alone until you find someone who erases your insecurities and makes you feel good in your own skin. Be alone until you find someone who puts you first and makes you feel like a priority because you don’t have time to be an option.

Be alone until you find someone who actually gives a shit about you. So many people settle for mediocre relationships with lame ass people – don’t be one of those people. Love is the one thing you should never, ever settle for.

Until then – be alone. You will thank yourself for doing so.”

Farewell Dark Queen

Anita Pallenberg passed away today at 73 years old. What an incredible woman. She was Keith Richards’ first wife and was the muse of The Rolling Stones at their birth in the 1960’s. She was one of those rare women with intelligence, beauty, magnetism and an adventurous spirit. She was completely her own person and fearlessly walked her path. The perfect example of a woman living her life to the fullest.

I greatly admired her as a teenager and read about her all the time. I never wanted to be like the movie stars of the late 70’s – I wanted to be like Anita: independent, confident and exotic. She was the heart and spirit of The Rolling Stones – the REAL badass.

From Vogue magazine:

Anita Pallenberg Passes Away at Age 73

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Photo: Getty Images

Anita Pallenberg, the model, actress, perennial style icon, perpetual fashion reference, and perhaps rock and roll’s most famous muse passed away today, at age 73. The news was made public on Instagram this afternoon by Stella Schnabel. “I have never met a woman quite like you Anita,” she wrote. “I don’t think there is anybody in this universe like you. No one has ever understood me so well. You showed about life and myself and how to grow and become and exist with it all. I was a little girl thinking I was big but I became a woman through knowing you. The secret lyrical you. My best friend. The greatest woman I have ever known. Thank you for the most important lessons – because they are ever changing and definitive. Like you. We are all singing for you, how you liked it. Go in peace my Roman mother, you will always be in my heart.”

Pallenberg, who Marianne Faithfull once called “the most incredible woman I’d met in my life” as well as “dazzling, beautiful, hypnotic and unsettling” was famously charming— John Phillips once described her as possessing “an unmistakable electrical charge,” though she described herself as “a vagabond. An adventurer… not a person with one specific talent. I wish I was.” She spent the 1960s as an in-demand model and an actress, appearing in films like Barbarella, Performance, and Candy, with Marlon Brando. German-Italian, Pallenberg had social ties that stretched from the Dolce Vita set in Rome to Andy Warhol’s factory, and rose to international fame as part of the impossibly glamorous ultra-bohemian traveling troupe of ur-rock royalty. She certainly left a lasting impression on Keith Richards, who recalled that “she knew everything and she could say it in five languages. She scared the pants off me!” They would later have three children together.

Pallenberg first entered the Rolling Stones’ orbit as Brian Jones’ girlfriend before later taking up with Richards (as well as Mick Jagger, this being the 1970s). “How Anita came to be with Brian is really the story of how the Stones became the Stones,” Faithfull wrote in her 1994 autobiography, Faithfull, “She almost single-handedly engineered a cultural revolution in London by bringing together the Stones and the jeunesse dorée…The Stones came away with a patina of aristocratic decadence that served as a perfect counterfoil to the raw roots blues of their music. This…transformed the Stones from pop stars into cultural icons.” She also had an unmistakable affect on the way that rock and roll looked: in his 2010 autobiography Life, Richards recounts that his way of getting dressed during that era was to slip into Pallenberg’s pants. Her allure, however, far transcended her wardrobe: “Other women evaporated next to her. She spoke in a baffling dada hipsterese. An outlandish Italo-Germanic-Cockney slang that mangled her syntax into surreal fragments….It was all part of her sinister appeal,” wrote Faithfull. All this enticed Keith, who wrote in Life, “I like a high-spirited woman. And with Anita, you knew you were taking on a Valkyrie—she who decides who dies in battle.” Their tumultuous relationship (marked by their shared struggles with substance abuse) would eventually come to an end in the early 1980s.

In 1994, Anita earned a fashion degree at Central Saint Martins and briefly worked with Vivienne Westwood, though she eventually left the industry behind, calling it “too nasty, too rip-off, too hard.” She scorned suggestions of a tell-all style biography, telling The Guardian in 2008 that “publishers want to hear only about the Stones and more dirt on Mick Jagger and I’m just not interested….I had several publishers and they were all the same. They all wanted salacious.” Ultimately, it seems, she was never interested in being anything but herself. “I am ready to die,” she told Alain Elkann in August 2016, “I have done so much here. My Mum died at 94. I don’t want to lose my independence. Now I am over 70 and to be honest I did not think I would live over 40.”

She is survived by her children, Marlon and Angela, and her grandchildren.

http://vmagazine.com/article/anita-pallenberg-the-woman-who-out-keithed-keith/

http://ultimateclassicrock.com/anita-pallenberg-rip/

http://pleasekillme.com/anita-pallenberg-dead/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4601788/Anita-Pallenberg-passes-away-aged-73.html

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/anita-pallenberg-dead-performance-actress-keith-richards-paramour-was-73-1013316

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/anita-pallenberg-rolling-stones-muse-was-queen-of-underground-w488024

Arbatel: Of the Magic of the Ancients

Arbatel-ancient-frimoire-occult

“The Arbatel de magia veterum (Arbatel: Of the Magic of the Ancients) is a Renaissance-period grimoire – a textbook of magic – and one of the most influential works of its kind. Unlike some other occult manuscripts that contain dark magic and malicious spells, the Arbatel contains spiritual advice and guidance on how to live an honest and honorable life.”

Author: Jovanna Goette

“The Arbatel is claimed to have been written in 1575 AD. This date is supported through textual references dating from 1536 through 1583. It is believed that the final editor of the Arbatel was Swiss physician Theodor Zwinger, and that it was published by Italian printer Pietro Perna. The author remains unknown, although it has been speculated that a man named Jacques Gohory may be the author. Like Zwinger and Perna, Gohory was a Paracelsian (a group who believed in and followed the medical theories and therapies of Paracelsus).

The focus of the Arbatel is on nature, and the natural relationships between humanity and a celestial hierarchy. It centers on the positive relationships between the celestial world and humans, and the interactions between the two. British poet and scholarly mystic Arthur Edward Waite (A.E. Waite) noted that the Arbatel is clearly Christian in nature. He wrote that it does not contain any form of black magic, and that it is not connected to the Greater or Lesser Keys of Solomon, which were focused on demonology.

The most frequently cited book in the Arbatel is the Bible. In the manner it is written, it appears that the author of the Arbatel must have had many portions of the Bible memorized, and that this highly influenced his writings.
The Arbatel was an extremely influential work for its time. It is said that one cannot understand the meaning of the Arbatel without also understanding the philosophy of Paracelsus. It viewed theosophy in an occult sense, and was perhaps the first written work to do so. Prior to the Arbatel, theosophy was generally used as a synonym for theology. It was the first writing to make the important distinction between human knowledge and divine knowledge.
Not all views of the Arbatel are positive, however. Dutch physician, occultist and demonologist Johann Weyer condemned the Arbatel as being “full of magical impiety” in his book, De praestigiis daemonum. In 1617, two professors at the University of Marburg in Germany intended to use the Arbatel as a textbook for students. Actions were taken against those professors by the University, and the book led to a student’s expulsion. Further, in 1623, an individual accused of being a witch, Jean Michel Menuisier, claimed to have used incantations from the Arbatel.
The first edition was most likely published in Basel. Some claim there had been earlier editions, although there has been no evidence to substantiate this. Since 1575, there have been several reprints. In 1655, Robert Turner translated the Arbatel to English, and printed it in his “Fourth” book of Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa’s “Three Books of Occult Philosophy.” In 1686, Andreas Luppius wrote a German translation of the Arbatel, and in 1855, Scheible completed another German translation, correcting Luppius’ errors. In 1945, Marc Haven created a French translation of the manuscript. Finally, in 1969, it was translated again into English in the British Library’s Sloane Manuscripts. This English translation resulted in many errors and missing sections, and included a “Seal of Secrets” not included in any other version.
Through its original edition and later translations, the Arbatel remains a fascinating look into ancient spiritual advice, and the different philosophies and views of the world from the 16th Century.”

Love and Lightning

Venus and Uranus were in an exact conjunction at 27 Aries yesterday. This noteworthy event happens every 225 days, and brings a fresh perspective to our personal relationships. Breakthroughs are common – both good and bad – and can show up the week preceding and the week following the aspect. So yeah, this new week upon us could reveal surprises and changes that can be challenging (but illuminating in the long run). Change is in the air.

So, how was your weekend? Did any shifts or insights occur on Saturday? The area where 27 Aries resides in your personal chart is where you will feel the effects most powerfully.

I had a funny, related experience. On my way to an event I passed an easy chair and a television in the middle of a street. They look like they had been thrown there by a strong force (Aries). Venus rules comfort and pleasure (i.e. the chair) and Uranus rules electricity and television (i.e. the TV). I wish now I had taken a picture of it!

FRACTAL – 4k StormLapse from Chad Cowan on Vimeo.

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. – Golda Meir

Jupiter flyby

Unbelievable video of Jupiter released yesterday. I’m stunned. It is such a beautiful planet! Exquisite… just like the mysticism behind it.

Jupiter is going Direct on Friday, June 9th in the early morning.

“Every 53 days, NASA’s Juno spacecraft flies close to Jupiter and travels from the giant gas planet’s north pole to and past its south pole, shooting photos along the way. The eye-opening 2-minute video above was created using a set of these still photos.

Colossal reports that it takes 1.5 days for the 6 megabytes of photo data captured over 2 hours to be downloaded by scientists on Earth.

After the raw photos were beamed to Earth and made available to the public, Gerald Eichstädt colorized them, Sean Doran set the stills in motion, and Avi Solomon added some music to create the experience above — a taste of what flying over the gas planet would be like. The photos are color-enhanced, though, so what you’d see with your own eyes would be much more flat.

Here’s another colorized view created by NASA, Eichstädt, and Doran (and slightly brightened):

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You can find more of these colorized images and videos on Doran’s Flickr. You can also follow along with updates from the Juno mission on NASA’s website.”

Source: https://petapixel.com/2017/05/29/gorgeous-flyby-jupiter-made-photos-nasas-juno-spacecraft/

Alanon meditation

ToolMe

The Language of Letting Go” is one of my favorite books of wisdom. Today’s sentiment really resonates with me, and I want to share it 🙂

Happy Monday!

Powerlessness and Unmanageability

“Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is.

“I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren’t, don’t want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process,” said one recovering woman.

I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn’t love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking.

I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy.

What I’m saying is this: I’ve spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn’t. It’s been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Won’t work!

By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life.

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.

Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I’ll allow my life to become manageable.”

It’s not what you think

Fantastic insights depression and the death of Chris Cornell. I also found this study that links addiction to childhood trauma:

http://upliftconnect.com/addiction-is-a-response-to-childhood-suffering/

IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING, PLEASE GET HELP. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak, it’s a way of taking care of yourself and the people that love you.

The First Ten Words by Rich Larson

Chris Cornell, 1964-2017

Chris Cornell died early Thursday morning. His band Soundgarden played a show on Wednesday night at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Two hours after the show ended, he was gone.

For two days, I’ve been working on a piece to pay tribute to him, and it’s been a struggle. Usually when I have a problem like this it’s because I’m staring at a blank screen trying to figure out what I want to say. That’s not the problem this time. The problem is I have way too much to say.

I’m not going to sit here and claim to have been a huge fan of Soundgarden. I didn’t dislike them, I just had to take them in small doses. I was a fan of Cornell. I love “Seasons,” the solo song he had on Cameron Crowe’s movie, Singles. It’s a droning acoustic song about isolation and the…

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