Tag Archives: personality test

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For

flags
I’d say 90% of my readings are on love life challenges. If we could stay alert and watch for these signs when we meet someone, we could save ourselves a lot of pain down the road. I think this is a pretty good list, and I hope you will find it useful. AND it applies to men AND women!!

Here’s a few of them:

40 Relationship Red Flags You Should Watch For (As Told By 40 Women Who Didn’t)

They aren’t that committed

Don’t chase those who don’t seem as committed as you. If someone genuinely is interested in you or likes you it won’t be like pulling teeth to hang out or see them.

Believe them

If someone tells you they’re an asshole, believe them.

If he promises to break your heart, he will

I was seeing a guy who told me point blank to my face “I will break your heart as hard as I can.” My first reaction was to tell him he was a good person.

He was most certainly not a good person. He was barely capable of being an okay person. I seriously wish I could go back in time… grab Past Me by the hand, and get the hell out of there. It would saved me some major grief.

If he thinks he’s the only

If someone thinks they are unique as in literally the only person who sees the truth about the world and society…or that you are the only one who knows the truth about the universe…or both of you together are the only woke people in the world and everyone else and other institutions are all sheep. That’s a very bad sign.

“I’m damaged. Nobody understands me…”

A huge red flag I’ve learned is when a man (or woman) says ‘I should come with a warning label’… or some equivalent like; I’m damaged, no one understands me, I’m dangerous/edgy, I don’t play well with others… just take them at their word and leave. It’s not worth the emotional effort to get through to them and they will constantly use it as an excuse for bad or abusive behavior.

The Clinger

He insisted on spending every possible moment he could with me. Every single weekend he’d stay at my place… Any time I complained about anything he said or did, I was attacking him and making him feel bad, and he would make everything my fault until I felt bad and apologized for getting mad at him.

I dated him for two years before I realized he wasn’t my responsibility and I finally broke it off with him.

They aren’t there for you

When the person is never there for you. When you always have to be the one to support them and get nothing back. When someone is unable to be independent from their family and explains toxic, abusive or otherwise unacceptable behavior as “it’s just how they are”.

Being inconsistent and indecisive

In both romantic relationships and friendships: inconsistency and complacency. I’ve often tried to make excuses for people who are hot/cold, who don’t keep plans or put any effort into making plans, who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say. That kind of person is fun for a drink every once in a while, but they’re nowhere to be found when you really need them.

Doesn’t text back

If you get busy with work, etc for a long period of time but he doesn’t know, and still doesn’t text you. For example, when I get busy with work and my boyfriend knows, he will back off to let me focus on stuff; if he doesn’t know I’m busy and I don’t respond, he checks in on me to make sure everything is okay. I’ve dated guys who have gone two days without texting me and it wasn’t because they thought I was busy, etc, they just didn’t feel like talking to me.

Always an excuse

He always had an excuse for why he didn’t do what he said he was going to. Always with the excuses. The excuses were barely believable which was pretty insulting too.

Read the rest of them here

 

Empowerment

women

It’s (past) time to treat women with respect.

To believe them when they speak out.

To let them live their lives as they choose.

To let them make decisions regarding their own bodies.

To pay them as much as men are paid.

To consider them for positions of power.

To let them love whoever they choose to love.

It’s time to treat women with respect wherever the go.

The new feminism is here.

image: from the artist Karen Hallion.

Here’s her shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/khallion

Fallon, Hart & the terrifying baby ostrich

ostrich

OK this is hilarious. Who knew Kevin Hart was so terrified of wild animals… even a baby ostrich chirping happily in Robert Irwin’s arms (yep that’s the late Steve Irwin’s son)!

It’s been an intense week for all of us, and Pluto (major purging), is stationary Direct this weekend, so here’s my attempt to lighten the mood a little! I hope you enjoy this and laugh as hard as I do when I watch it!

Rare Aspects

The Path, by Reginald W. Machell

“The Path” by Reginald W. Machell

 

There’s a rare and powerful aspect happening tonight that will impact the week ahead. The Sun, Venus and Pluto arrive at the same degree of 19 Capricorn. This could be a cathartic event for each of us, depending on where the conjunction falls in your natal chart and the aspects it makes with other planets.

The Sun is your soul’s signature and vision in this lifetime, and brings huge focus and importance to where it falls in your chart AND to where it transits. It’s the giant star that our solar system depends on – the greatest light of all. In conjunction with Venus, it stirs the passions of love and art. Although Venus isn’t completely “happy” in the sign of the goat, the Sun’s presence brings warmth, healing and abundance to relationships or careers that have become stale or stuck. Venus is love and money, and the Sun is fire and healing. ❤

But across the solar system, far out in the hinterlands, sits Pluto. Despite being millions of light years away, it lines up perfectly with the Sun and Venus creating a huge conjunction across our personal star path. Pluto is a dark planet (yes it’s a planet dammit), and symbolizes deep transformation, catharsis, toxic emotions, unhealthy patterns and buried treasure. Pluto (with Venus) brings up our deepest, hidden blocks so we can sacrifice them in the fire of the Sun. We dig through the disappointments of last year and clear them, so we can unearth the real gold buried deep within. What a wonderful to start the year and set the energy of 2018.

From Austin Coppock:

“The other significant configuration which occurs during this span of days is the conjunction of Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio. This is a fierce and triumphant conjunction, the proper mindset of conquerors and the seed of great victories. It brings optimism and relentlessness, and while it shines you will have the capacity to envision victories you are normally too modest to dream.

Take the regalia of the conqueror from Mars and Jupiter, and the clarified passion of the Venus-Sun conjunction, for they are exactly what you need to build the year before you. Do not rush to commit to half-ass, guilty resolutions. Clarify your passion and stoke your courage, for they are exactly what you will need to build the year you desire.
Give the skies time to offer you these boons. Spend the days of this decan receiving these empowerments and constructing your blueprint. Do not start building before the design is complete- give yourself at least until the New Moon later in the month to break ground. 2018 will not be kind to hastily laid plans. It will test even good ones, but has rewards of satisfaction and accomplishment waiting for those who can bring together passion, courage and patience.”

Do this when you feel icky

PUG

“What Science Really Says About Negative Emotions.

Pretending unwelcome feelings don’t exist isn’t helping. Here’s what to do instead:

by Shelby Lorman.

Source.

Ever been told to smile when you’re feeling down? While there’s science to support the idea that forced positivity can temporarily boost your mood, convincing yourself that you’re always happy may do you more harm than good, according to an insightful piece on Quartz by Lila MacLellan. Research suggests suppressing your less-than-pleasant feelings can harm your psychological well-being, and that accepting them is a better option.
Acceptance isn’t about making peace with your negative emotions: the “magic of acceptance is in its blunting effect on emotional reactions to stressful events,” Brett Ford, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, told MacLellan. Ford added that over time, acceptance of negative emotions can lead to “positive psychological health, including higher levels of life satisfaction.”
How and why this happens isn’t exactly clear. But Ford’s recently published research (in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology) offers some insights. The research is from a few years ago, when Ford was a doctoral student at the University of California, Berkeley. She and a few other Berkeley researchers designed a three-part experiment in hopes of learning more about the link between acceptance and psychological well-being. The participants were from various socioeconomic backgrounds and races, and included people who had dealt with major and minor negative experiences (think the difference between losing a job and losing track of your keys).
Ford and her fellow researchers found that people who were more accepting of negative emotions (MacLellan calls them “habitual acceptors”) like anger or anxiety had reduced feelings of ill-being, something backed up by previous research, and were more likely to have better well-being. MacLellan notes that “accepting dark emotions like anxiety or rage won’t bring you down or amplify the emotional experience. Nor will it make you ‘happy’—at least not directly.” Instead, acceptance is linked to overall “better mental health when it’s used in response to negative emotions, not positive ones,” MacLellan writes.
Ford hopes her research can improve future mental health treatments, which “currently rely on some approaches that fail people,” she told MacLellan. “When something happens and you try to reframe it like, ‘Oh it’s not such a big deal.’ or ‘I’m going to learn and grow from that,’ it doesn’t necessarily work,” Ford said.
Bad experiences are inevitable. But if we only let in the positive emotions, we’re less equipped to deal with the rollercoaster ride that is just part and parcel of being alive. “People die in our lives, we lose them, if we have only been accustomed to being allowed to have more positive thoughts, then these realities can strike us even more intensely when they happen—and they will happen,” according to Svend Brinkmann, a psychology professor at Denmark’s Aalborg University quoted in the piece.
Part of the challenge of acceptance is that it runs counter to our culture’s expectation to be happy all of the time. We’re living in a “cultural age that’s decidedly pro-positivity,” MacLellan writes, which makes the “pressure to suppress or camouflage negative feelings” all the more pronounced. In the West (especially in the U.S.) “happiness and positivity are seen as virtues,” MacLellan notes. Ford told her that “some companies want their customers and employees to be delighted all the time. That’s unreasonable, and when we’re faced with unreasonable expectations, it’s natural for us to start applying judgement to the negative mental experiences we have.”
This probably isn’t helped by the fact that social media today is awash in well-curated and filtered frames of positivity. While a quick mood boost might feel great, continually suppressing our own negative emotions in favor of feel-good things only sets us up for a “striving state of mind,” according to Ford, which is paradoxical to finding peace and acceptance.
The good news is that acceptance can be learned. You can start by thinking of “your emotions as passing clouds, visible but not a part of you,” MacLellan suggests. Next time you experience a negative emotion or feel pressured to smile when you’re really not feeling it, remember that, as Ford explains, “acceptance involves not trying to change how we are feeling, but staying in touch with your feelings and taking them for what they are.”
Read more on Quartz.